Torchwood Quotes
Jack: Have faith, with a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail?
Ianto: He is dashing, you have to give him that.
Owen: And what if they can't stop it?
Tosh: They'll stop it.
Owen: Yeah, but if they can't?
Ianto: Then it's...all over.
Owen: [after a pause] Let's all have sex.
Ianto: [deadpan] And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse.
Ianto: He is dashing, you have to give him that.
Owen: And what if they can't stop it?
Tosh: They'll stop it.
Owen: Yeah, but if they can't?
Ianto: Then it's...all over.
Owen: [after a pause] Let's all have sex.
Ianto: [deadpan] And I thought the end of the world couldn't get any worse.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: She knows more about this place than I do. [Slams fist] Nobody knows more than I do!
TV Show: Torchwood
Tommy: [ruefully] "The war to end all wars", they said... then three weeks later you had the Second World War. After all that...
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: [draws a line on a piece of paper] Linear time [balls the piece of paper up] Screwed up time. Try drawing a straight line on that without flattening it out.
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: This time tomorrow he'll be back in 1918.
Ianto: In his own time. [pause] Would you go back to yours, if you could?
Jack: Why? Would you miss me?
Ianto: Yep.
Jack: I left home a long time ago, I don't know where I really belong. Maybe that doesn't matter anymore.
Ianto: [perches on the edge of Jack's desk] I know you get lonely.
Jack: Going home wouldn't fix that. Being here, I've seen things I never dreamt I'd see, loved people people I never would have know if I'd stayed where I was. [looks directly at Ianto] And I wouldn't change that for the world.
[Ianto kisses Jack]
Ianto: In his own time. [pause] Would you go back to yours, if you could?
Jack: Why? Would you miss me?
Ianto: Yep.
Jack: I left home a long time ago, I don't know where I really belong. Maybe that doesn't matter anymore.
Ianto: [perches on the edge of Jack's desk] I know you get lonely.
Jack: Going home wouldn't fix that. Being here, I've seen things I never dreamt I'd see, loved people people I never would have know if I'd stayed where I was. [looks directly at Ianto] And I wouldn't change that for the world.
[Ianto kisses Jack]
TV Show: Torchwood
[Radio advert plays while Rhys is driving]
Rhys: [Singing along] Who'd you trust to transport your goods? Harwoods! You won't be sorry with a Harwoods lorry!
Rhys: [Singing along] Who'd you trust to transport your goods? Harwoods! You won't be sorry with a Harwoods lorry!
TV Show: Torchwood
Gwen: Have you ever eaten alien meat?
Jack: Yeah.
Gwen: What was it like?
Jack: Well, he seemed to enjoy it.
Jack: Yeah.
Gwen: What was it like?
Jack: Well, he seemed to enjoy it.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: Pizza's arrived – thought it would be another late night.
Owen: What did you get?
Ianto: The usual. Meat feast.
Owen: Lovely.
Owen: What did you get?
Ianto: The usual. Meat feast.
Owen: Lovely.
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: So the protein chains are regenerating despite the mutilations, so not only is it replenishing its own flesh, but it's increasing it, giving them a brand new meat supply.
Gwen: It would last them for years, then.
Toshiko: If we understood how worked, we could feed the world!
Ianto: We could release a single.
Gwen: It would last them for years, then.
Toshiko: If we understood how worked, we could feed the world!
Ianto: We could release a single.
TV Show: Torchwood
Rhys: Well if you stopped and asked me exactly what I saw in there instead of showin' off...
Jack (aside): Do I show off?
Ianto: Just a bit.
Rhys: ...You'd know that I got out by telling them I wanted a job as a delivery boy! So rather than "cock things up", I found you a way to get in! But if you can't handle that, big boy, then you can stuff it!
[Beat]
Jack: This is quite homoerotic.
Jack (aside): Do I show off?
Ianto: Just a bit.
Rhys: ...You'd know that I got out by telling them I wanted a job as a delivery boy! So rather than "cock things up", I found you a way to get in! But if you can't handle that, big boy, then you can stuff it!
[Beat]
Jack: This is quite homoerotic.
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: If we go in there, guns blazing-
Owen: I wasn't suggesting blazing. Just waving.
Owen: I wasn't suggesting blazing. Just waving.
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: [talking about the alien] We're going to save it. Stabilize it, wait for the rift to open, and, fwooh, send it back.
Ianto: ...And guess who'll have to look after it in the meantime?
Ianto: ...And guess who'll have to look after it in the meantime?
TV Show: Torchwood
[Owen has just given Tosh a toy rodent]
Tosh: Just what I need, a rodent watching me while I work. I think I'll call it Owen.
Tosh: Just what I need, a rodent watching me while I work. I think I'll call it Owen.
TV Show: Torchwood
[team discusses the mysterious box]
Ianto: I think Jack brought that in.
Tosh: No, I'm pretty sure Adam found it on an excavation a few months back.
Ianto: I'll have a look in the diary. I like to log the interesting stuff.
Tosh: You write about artifacts in your diary?
Ianto: Among other things. [winks]
Ianto: I think Jack brought that in.
Tosh: No, I'm pretty sure Adam found it on an excavation a few months back.
Ianto: I'll have a look in the diary. I like to log the interesting stuff.
Tosh: You write about artifacts in your diary?
Ianto: Among other things. [winks]
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: Now I have to help you all go back. Find a memory that defines you, rediscover who you are. If I'm wrong, he will still be here when we’ve done this. [turns off computer screen] Let me take you back to before we all met. [turns off lights] Feel around for anything that makes you what you are. The hidden and the forgotten. Tell me where you are.
Gwen: College canteen. Rhys is sitting opposite me telling stupid jokes.
[Flashback] - : Rhys: where do you find a tortoise with no legs? Where you left it!
Owen: It’s my birthday, ten. My mum spends the whole day screaming, ‘I love you because you’re my son but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.’
Tosh: Maths club. There’s something so reliable about maths. Always the right answer.
Ianto: Meeting Lisa. Falling in love. I never felt so alive.
Owen: Turned sixteen, she packs my bags. That is the nicest thing you’ve done for me in years mother.
Gwen: Kissing in the supermarket. The look on his face.
Tosh: My first flat. I don’t have a flat warming – there’s no one I want to invite.
Ianto: Losing Lisa. Like the world had ended.
Gwen: The way he looks at me sometimes, as if he's scared of what he feels for me. I love him [turns to Jack] but not in the way I love you.
Jack: [to Gwen] Take this [Gwen takes the retcon pill]
Tosh: Knowing there has to be more to life than this, knowing I’m special, waiting for someone to see it.
Jack: I saw it [gives her a pill]
Owen: You save one life, a hundred lives but it’s never enough. Who will save me?
Jack: I will [gives him a pill]
Ianto: Coming here, it gave me meaning again. [Turns to Jack] You. [Jack kisses h
Gwen: College canteen. Rhys is sitting opposite me telling stupid jokes.
[Flashback] - : Rhys: where do you find a tortoise with no legs? Where you left it!
Owen: It’s my birthday, ten. My mum spends the whole day screaming, ‘I love you because you’re my son but that doesn’t mean I have to like you.’
Tosh: Maths club. There’s something so reliable about maths. Always the right answer.
Ianto: Meeting Lisa. Falling in love. I never felt so alive.
Owen: Turned sixteen, she packs my bags. That is the nicest thing you’ve done for me in years mother.
Gwen: Kissing in the supermarket. The look on his face.
Tosh: My first flat. I don’t have a flat warming – there’s no one I want to invite.
Ianto: Losing Lisa. Like the world had ended.
Gwen: The way he looks at me sometimes, as if he's scared of what he feels for me. I love him [turns to Jack] but not in the way I love you.
Jack: [to Gwen] Take this [Gwen takes the retcon pill]
Tosh: Knowing there has to be more to life than this, knowing I’m special, waiting for someone to see it.
Jack: I saw it [gives her a pill]
Owen: You save one life, a hundred lives but it’s never enough. Who will save me?
Jack: I will [gives him a pill]
Ianto: Coming here, it gave me meaning again. [Turns to Jack] You. [Jack kisses h
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: Oh, by the way, I found your diary.
Ianto: Ah, yes, I've been looking for that. [starts to walk away]
Jack: And for the record, measuring tapes never lie.
Ianto: [quietly] Fuck.
Ianto: Ah, yes, I've been looking for that. [starts to walk away]
Jack: And for the record, measuring tapes never lie.
Ianto: [quietly] Fuck.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: Jack? Your V.I.P guest is here.
Gwen: I didn't know we were expecting anyone. [The rest of the team turn towards the entrance to the Hub]
[Jack runs towards the door to the hub as it opens revealing Martha Jones dressed in a suit with a bag over her arm]
Jack: On a dark night in Cardiff, I hear the song of a nightingale.
Gwen: I didn't know we were expecting anyone. [The rest of the team turn towards the entrance to the Hub]
[Jack runs towards the door to the hub as it opens revealing Martha Jones dressed in a suit with a bag over her arm]
Jack: On a dark night in Cardiff, I hear the song of a nightingale.
TV Show: Torchwood
Martha: Jack's right. These attacks are not random. They're clinical, professional. More like assassinations.
Gwen: Except Barry Leonard was a student. Who'd assassinate a student?
Martha: Student loans company?
Gwen: Yeah, I think you just cracked it.
[They both laugh.]
Gwen: Except Barry Leonard was a student. Who'd assassinate a student?
Martha: Student loans company?
Gwen: Yeah, I think you just cracked it.
[They both laugh.]
TV Show: Torchwood
Martha: So, Jack asked me if I could get you a UNIT cap to wear.
Ianto: Did he? Well, red is my colour.
Martha: So, am I right in thinking that you and he...
Ianto: We... dabble.
Martha: Yeah?
Ianto: Yeah.
Martha: So what's his "dabbling" like?
Ianto: Innovative.
Martha: Really!
Ianto: Bordering on the avant-garde.
Martha: Wow.
Ianto: Oh yeah. [He smiles a little distantly]
Ianto: Did he? Well, red is my colour.
Martha: So, am I right in thinking that you and he...
Ianto: We... dabble.
Martha: Yeah?
Ianto: Yeah.
Martha: So what's his "dabbling" like?
Ianto: Innovative.
Martha: Really!
Ianto: Bordering on the avant-garde.
Martha: Wow.
Ianto: Oh yeah. [He smiles a little distantly]
TV Show: Torchwood
Tosh: Ianto, what have you done with Billy Davis's body?
Ianto: Um, I was just about to dispose of it, why?
Tosh: I thought of a way we can use him to get us into the Pharm. [Shows something on screen] Clever, huh?
Ianto: Oh, you are warped on the inside. How do you think of these things?
Tosh: I'll take that as a compliment.
Ianto: Um, I was just about to dispose of it, why?
Tosh: I thought of a way we can use him to get us into the Pharm. [Shows something on screen] Clever, huh?
Ianto: Oh, you are warped on the inside. How do you think of these things?
Tosh: I'll take that as a compliment.
TV Show: Torchwood
Gwen: Oh, um, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I get a bit confused, which one's UNIT?
Jack: Intelligence. Millitary. Cute red caps. Acceptable face of intelligence gathering on aliens. We're more ad hoc, but better looking. [emphasis on "better looking" directed at Martha]
Jack: Intelligence. Millitary. Cute red caps. Acceptable face of intelligence gathering on aliens. We're more ad hoc, but better looking. [emphasis on "better looking" directed at Martha]
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: "Tosh, any luck with retrieving those medical records?
Tosh: Not yet. I'm going to have to dig down into the system memory and see if I can find any remnants of deleted or temporary files. Completely illegal, of course. [smiles a bit ]
Tosh: Not yet. I'm going to have to dig down into the system memory and see if I can find any remnants of deleted or temporary files. Completely illegal, of course. [smiles a bit ]
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger shall know no bounds," but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: [supposedly telling Martha what death is like] There was a light, a tiny speck of light and I was rushing towards it, like down a corridor, and it got brighter, and brighter, then suddenly there were these gates... these big, pearly gates and there was this old geezer and he said, "You've been a very naughty boy!"
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: Only in suffering do we realize beauty.
Owen: Yeah, yeah. Who said that?
Jack: Proust.
Owen: You've read Proust?
Jack: Yeah. [pause] Well, no. We dated for a while. He was really immature.
Owen: Yeah, yeah. Who said that?
Jack: Proust.
Owen: You've read Proust?
Jack: Yeah. [pause] Well, no. We dated for a while. He was really immature.
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: [talking to a child cancer patient] Jamie, you're scared, of course you are, the last lot of chemo didn't work and you can't bear the thought of going through all that pain again, I understand that mate, I really do. But let me tell you, that not everyone dies from this disease. And the ones with the best chance of making it are the ones who believe they can beat death. And sometimes, just sometimes, you can. So watch and learn, Jamie Burton.
Jamie: Watch what?
Owen: Watch me beat Death.
Tosh: [finally picking the lock on a door] Come on!
Owen: Okay, go, come on, Jamie, [to Tosh] take him!
Tosh: Owen? I am not leaving you to face that thing on your own!
Owen: I know what to do.
Tosh: We don't know what we're dealing with!
Owen: Tosh... [kisses Tosh] you're so going to hate me for this. [uses the lock-picking device to shut himself in the lobby]
Tosh: Owen, no, open the door! What the hell are you doing? Owen!
Owen: [to Death] How long!? How long can you last here with only twelve victims? There's nothing here for you! Owen Harper's soul has left the building! There's nobody here but us dead men. [starts fighting Death to the protestations of his team] What else have you got? What else do you do to the dead? Is that all you've got? Is it?!? [Death eventually fades away in a white light]
Jamie: Watch what?
Owen: Watch me beat Death.
Tosh: [finally picking the lock on a door] Come on!
Owen: Okay, go, come on, Jamie, [to Tosh] take him!
Tosh: Owen? I am not leaving you to face that thing on your own!
Owen: I know what to do.
Tosh: We don't know what we're dealing with!
Owen: Tosh... [kisses Tosh] you're so going to hate me for this. [uses the lock-picking device to shut himself in the lobby]
Tosh: Owen, no, open the door! What the hell are you doing? Owen!
Owen: [to Death] How long!? How long can you last here with only twelve victims? There's nothing here for you! Owen Harper's soul has left the building! There's nobody here but us dead men. [starts fighting Death to the protestations of his team] What else have you got? What else do you do to the dead? Is that all you've got? Is it?!? [Death eventually fades away in a white light]
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: [Opening narration] My name is Doctor Owen Harper, and this is my life. A life that is full of action. And violence. And work and wonder. Secrets. And sex. And love. And heartbreak. Death. My death. The death I survived. The death I'm now living through. Except.... this isn't living. Every day is the same. I get up. Get ready for work. Same as everyone else. The thing is, I'm not the same. I get to work and everyone is doing the same old thing. Babbling away about aliens, weddings. I'm not real. Three days ago I died. And they think I'm fine. But they're wrong.
TV Show: Torchwood