True Blood Quotes

Tara: Eggs?
Eggs: [tranced out] Baby! Where you been? I-I was so scared. Don't you ever leave me again, okay?
Tara: I won't, I promise. I love you. We gotta get you outta here, okay? Let's go somewhere else, please. [he doesn't move] Listen to me.
Maryann: [from behind her] But everything you want is right here. I knew you'd come.
Tara: No. I don't know what you are, but I want out!
Maryann: Oh, it's too late for that.
Tara: You made me eat somebody's heart!
Maryann: And you loved it. Admit it.
Tara: You don't want us. You want Sam. we ain't got nothin' to do with it.
Maryann: Nothing to do with it? 'You' summoned 'me'.
Tara: What?
Maryann: That night in the woods with that unfortunate pharmacist. You saw me. Well you saw 'you' through me. (flashes back to the fake exorcism)
Tara: But Miss Jeanette was a fake. She scammed people by makin' up crazy rituals.
Maryann: Ooh, a ritual is a powerful thing and calling forth that kind of energy... has consequences.
Tara: She was real?
Maryann: Sadly no. I should've known she wasn't the vessel, but you have to try every option, ya know?

TV Show: True Blood
Eric: Why should I help you... shifter?
Sam: Because I need your help. We need it. And hopefully some day I might be able to give you something you need.
Eric: Can you give me Sookie Stackhouse?
Sam: No.
Eric: Well that's a shame. That would be a tribute I would not soon forget.
Sam: [irate] I'm not here to give you tribute, Eric.
Eric: No, you're here to request my help based on a hypothetical future in which you return the favor... But you are known not to be to friendly towards those like me. Why should I trust you?
Sam: Because until somebody starts trusting somebody, we're all single targets just ripe for the picking.

TV Show: True Blood
Pam: [about children] You make me so happy I never had any o' you.
Eric: Aw, c'mon Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature. Teacup humans.
Pam: I hate them. They're so stupid.
Eric: But delicious.

TV Show: True Blood
Mrs. Merlotte: We never thought we'd see you again.
Sam: Well, never say never when there's the Internet.
Mrs. Merlotte: Sam, if you came for an explanation, um I don't have a good one. Mitchell and I were down to our last nickle and we were scared. We still don't know what we saw that night.
Sam: You saw me turn into a dog. So apparently that was worth abandoning me over. I spent the next nineteen years making sure nobody knew what I really was. That's what you left me with.

TV Show: True Blood
Bill: You've heard there's a maenad in our midst?
Sam: I'm familiar.
Bill: You are aware she is here because of you.
Sam: Something like that.
Bill: I need you and Sookie needs you to make this right.
Sam: If I thought it was as easy as givin' myself up to Maryann, I'd have done that by now and what's to say she's gonna stop at me? Killers just don't suddenly quit killin'. You oughta know that.
Bill: And standing by idly is not an option either. You must come with me.
Sam: Oh I'm not sure I wanna be doing that.
Bill: I'm not sure I'm giving you a choice.

TV Show: True Blood
Maryann: Come on, Sookie, it'll be our little secret. What are you?
Sookie: I'm a waitress. What the fuck are you?

TV Show: True Blood
Sheriff Dearborne: Come by the station in the morning and I'll give you your badge back.
Andy: Really? I won't let you down Bud. And I am never touching another drink again.
Sheriff Dearborne: This town's a hell of a mess and I'm man enough to know I can't shoulder it myself. [Pause] You might have your faults Andy, but at least you got pants on.

TV Show: True Blood
Sookie: [after Bill proposes] Then why can't I say it? My heart's flying around in my chest - I can't even think straight. My life's inside out. With all that's happened I'm not sure about anything. I don't even know if I'm human!
Bill: What?
Sookie: Maybe I am some kind of freak. I've only met one other person in the world like me and who even knows where he is? And what happens when I grow old? And weak? And you're still the same, what then?
Bill: Sookie, I don't care about any of that. I want you just as you are.
Sookie: But I'm not even sure what I am!
Bill: Are you saying no?
Sookie: No I'm saying...I don't know what I'm saying. I need a minute to clean myself up. I'm sorry.

TV Show: True Blood
Kenya: (about Bill) So he proposes to you and you said what again?
Sookie: That I needed a minute to think.
Kenya: (making notes) Hmmm.
Sookie: (about the Hostesss nearby) Aren't you going to stop her from tramplin' all over the crime scene? Why aren't you taking any of this seriously, Kenya? My boyfriend's been kidnapped.
Kenya: It is Deputy Jones and I'd appreciate you addressing me as such. Now how how long were you in the bathroom?
Sookie: No more than a minute or two.
Kenya: Was it one minute or two minutes?!
Sookie: What difference does it make when every second you spend questioning me, these bastards are getting further away!
Kenya: What if there were no bastards? What if, while you were in the bathroom for a minute or two, your vampire friend realized he didn't want to be humiliated any more and took off?
Sookie: Well than how do you explain the turned over table inside? Because to me that looks like evidence of a struggle.
Kenya: To me, it looks like a man lost his temper... and with good reason.
Sookie: Come on, just file a missing person's report for me. Please.
Kenya: Forty-eight hours. That's the rule. You wanna a lift back to town or not?

TV Show: True Blood
Jason: God, I killed a man!
Andy: No, Stackhouse. I killed him! That's what I just told Bud and that's what both of us have to stick to, 'cause there's holes in our story. Big gaping ones!
Jason: Like?
Andy: [about Eggs] Like if he was really all up in my face threatening me with a knife, how come the gun that killed him was fired from over twenty feet away!?
Jason: Well shit man. Why'd you tell 'im a story with holes in it? We gotta go back and tell him the truth.
Andy: You tell anybody anything, we're both gonna spend the rest of our lives in jail!
Jason: I don't wanna go to jail.
Andy: Than I need to see a lot less conscience and a lot more cajones and I need to see 'em pronto!

TV Show: True Blood
Eric: So, what brings you to Fangtasia on this balmy summer night?
Sookie: Bill's been kidnapped and I think you did it.
Eric: I didn't. Any other theories?
Sookie: I'm still on this one, thank you very much. Where were you tonight around eleven o'clock?
Eric: Here, with Yvetta.
Sookie: Doing this? For the last six hours?
Eric: You seem surprised. Is Bill's stamina not up to snuff?
Sookie: Tell me where I can find Lorena. If you don't have him, she does.
Eric: Solid theory. But given the tenor of your last run-in with Ms. Krasiki, I think it's better if I dealt with her instead.
Sookie: How do I know if you will?
Eric: Because if Bill was in fact kidnapped, by human or vampire, I am duty bound as sheriff of the area in which he resides to find him... even if I do want what is his.

TV Show: True Blood
Pam: You need to call the Queen.
Eric: The Queen is the last person I need finding out about this. (Bill missing)
Pam: You're not the only one whose fate hangs in the balance here!
Eric: And what do you think the Queen will do if I tell her I've lost the one vampire who could link her to the dealing of vampire blood?! That I have no idea where he is?
Pam: What do you think she'll do if she finds out from someone else? Call the Queen.
Eric: There are times when I seek your counsel, Pam. Now is not one of those times.

TV Show: True Blood
Magister: Trouble abounds in your fair state.
Eric: Tell me.
Magister: It would seem your idyllic little home is competing to become the V capital of the world.
Sophie-Anne: Can you believe it? I am so embarrassed. Naturally I told the Magister that you were the only vampire in my queendom that could be trusted with this.
Eric: Any thing I can do to be of service.
Magister: Our blood is sacred. Wasting it on anything other than procreation is blasphemy.
Sophie-Anne: Madness.
Eric: Desecration.
Magister: Have you noticed an uptick in users in your neck of the woods? Maybe even here in your club?
Eric: I haven't, no.
Magister: See that's surprising to me. 'Cause every other sheriff to whom I have spoken has. The amounts are so great in fact, we can only assume a vampire is responsible.
Sophie-Anne: An act of self loathing so shameful that who ever is responsible should fall on his own stake.
Eric: Respectfully, Magister. I'm not sure I follow your logic.
Magister: If your average run-of-the-mill drainers were behind this, it would stand to reason said drainers would need vampires to drain; which means there would be missing vampires and plenty of them. How many vampires have gone missing in your area?
Eric: None, Magister.
Magister: So, now do you follow my logic?
Eric: I do, and I will look into the matter.
Magister: Good ... and I will expect results.

TV Show: True Blood
Pam: [to Jessica] Let's go to the ladies room and stare at ourselves in the mirror.

TV Show: True Blood
Eric: Here's what I know about werewolves. There's a reason their existence has remained merely a myth to humans for thousands of years. They're territorial, vicious, pathologically secretive.
Sookie: Boy, does that sound familiar.
Eric: And here's what I know about you. You're so blinded by your obsession with Bill Compton, you're likely to run through the streets screaming werewolf bait. Alerting who ever has Bill that we're on to them or getting yourself killed.

TV Show: True Blood
Jessica: So Pam, when you're feedin' on someone, how do you not kill 'em?
Pam: Bill didn't teach you that?
Jessica: Bill doesn't want me to feed on people. And now he's gone, and...
Pam: It's in the heartbeat. You feel it in the blood.

TV Show: True Blood
Lafayette: Life ain't not havin' problems, Tara. It's about bein' able to deal wit' the ones you got.

TV Show: True Blood
Andy: You're a good guy, Stackhouse. You got a lotta heart. You're prettier'n most girls. If you just applied yourself right, you could accomplish almost anything.
Jason: You really think so?
Andy: Why else would I be babysitting your drunken ass making sure you don't piss your entire future away?

TV Show: True Blood
Russell: [referring to Talbot's reaction] It's like Armageddon in here whenever someone chips a dessert glass.

TV Show: True Blood
Bill: (after his fangs came out) Don't be afraid.
Caroline Compton: (trembling) Are you afflicted?
Bill: I am... I was... My human life was taken from me.
Caroline Compton: Are you a ghost?
Bill: I an here to bury our son. You can not be infected.
Caroline Compton: What are you?!? What are you?!? A-a demon? A devil?!You've taken my husband. I will not let you take my son!

TV Show: True Blood
Sheriff Dearborne: I quit! (walking away from the crime scene)
Andy Bellefleur: Hey, Bud. Wait up. Where you going'?
Sheriff Dearbourne: (irate) Didn't you hear me? I quit! I've had it with this shit! Everytime we clear one muder, two more spring up.

TV Show: True Blood
Lorena: (primping her hair) That was the best sex I've had in decades.
Bill: (disdainfully) At least someone enjoyed it.

TV Show: True Blood
Talbot: (upon seeing Franklin entering the house with Tara) No! No no no. Not you.
Franklin: Russell's expecting me.

TV Show: True Blood
Tara: What do you want from Sookie?
Franklin: You should be more concerned with what I want from you.

TV Show: True Blood
Talbot: You are not supposed to bring work home.
Russell: Darling, (points to himself) King!

TV Show: True Blood
Russell: As always the deposit will go to your Trust account.
Franklin: But I want cash.
Russell: Last time you had any real money you ended up at the slots in Biloxi slaughtering a church group of elderly women.
Franklin: They wouldn't let me have a turn!

TV Show: True Blood
Tara: We need to talk.
Franklin: Don't say that. Women say that, everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts.

TV Show: True Blood
Sookie: What happened back there? Why were they all shiftin'? You almost shifted.
Alcide: Couldn't help it. Their energy starts rolling and it takes over. We're lucky we got out there alive. Fuck!
Sookie: I know it was terrible for you, but-
Alcide: You don't know anything!
Sookie: I know that if you don't slow down you're gonna kill us, and I am not going to die 'cause of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole!

TV Show: True Blood
Bill: You have always so enjoyed making others suffer.
Lorena: And there is nothing wrong with that. Especially after having been made to suffer as I have been.
Bill: You haven't suffered at the hands of others for a very long time.

TV Show: True Blood
Lorena: You never embraced our nature!
Bill: You nature?!? It was never mine! I welcome death because only then will I be truly free of the disease that is you!

TV Show: True Blood