Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
(It was between Halloween and incest, but Clive didn't think incest would go over well with the censor as a reason why families get together.)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg Proops:
I love trick or treatin', I do from door to door
I ask for candy, ask for sweets and then I ask for more
Sometimes they give me lots of rocks and bugs
But I do not care, 'cause I trick or treat on drugs!
I love trick or treatin', I do from door to door
I ask for candy, ask for sweets and then I ask for more
Sometimes they give me lots of rocks and bugs
But I do not care, 'cause I trick or treat on drugs!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
Oh I'm so glad that Halloween is finally here
'cause its my favourite time, of the entire year
I dress up, and give all the kids an awful fright
I really don't know why, I'm not wearing a mask tonight!
Oh I'm so glad that Halloween is finally here
'cause its my favourite time, of the entire year
I dress up, and give all the kids an awful fright
I really don't know why, I'm not wearing a mask tonight!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Niall Ashdown:
Last Halloween, there was a terrible blizzard
It was cause by a nasty old wizard
He looked out his window, and caused a fearful spell
And when I woke up in the morning I did smell!
Last Halloween, there was a terrible blizzard
It was cause by a nasty old wizard
He looked out his window, and caused a fearful spell
And when I woke up in the morning I did smell!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
Halloween can be such a special night
It's a chance you get to run around and scare and fright
When people open the door, oh boy do they run
That's because every year I dress as Clive Anderson!
Halloween can be such a special night
It's a chance you get to run around and scare and fright
When people open the door, oh boy do they run
That's because every year I dress as Clive Anderson!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg Proops:
I used to like the booze, I used to like the trickin'
Now I get my kicks going out toad lickin'
I go out to the desert and find myself a frog
and lick its psychedelic back till I'm high as a dog!
I used to like the booze, I used to like the trickin'
Now I get my kicks going out toad lickin'
I go out to the desert and find myself a frog
and lick its psychedelic back till I'm high as a dog!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
Out on the plains, there ain't no liquor store
There just some big cactus, and not very much more
But the Agave I'll tell ya gives the juice
You put it in, let it ferment, it really cuts ya loose - A-HA!
Out on the plains, there ain't no liquor store
There just some big cactus, and not very much more
But the Agave I'll tell ya gives the juice
You put it in, let it ferment, it really cuts ya loose - A-HA!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery:
(Tony pulls out a handkerchief from his mouth while muttering something for three and a half lines, so these lines are completely incomprehensible)
.............And then I cut it off!
(Tony pulls out a handkerchief from his mouth while muttering something for three and a half lines, so these lines are completely incomprehensible)
.............And then I cut it off!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
Drinking lots of liquor can go right to your head
Well, one day I drank so much that I woke and I was dead
(starts to hesitate) Oh drinking it really takes some nerve
But at least I'm dead, hey, (hesitates) I am well preserved.
Drinking lots of liquor can go right to your head
Well, one day I drank so much that I woke and I was dead
(starts to hesitate) Oh drinking it really takes some nerve
But at least I'm dead, hey, (hesitates) I am well preserved.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Stephen Frost:
When my father passed away we had to read the will
I didn't turn up 'cos I was feeling ill
We got a letter in the post, it said I had three million quid
So I went out and bought a horse, and this is what I did - YEE-HA!
When my father passed away we had to read the will
I didn't turn up 'cos I was feeling ill
We got a letter in the post, it said I had three million quid
So I went out and bought a horse, and this is what I did - YEE-HA!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie
The other day I went to my dad's funeral
He crossed himself with an elephant, it didn't go to well
The elephant was willing, my daddy he said "Ouch!"
It took me twenty-seven days to scrape him off the couch!
The other day I went to my dad's funeral
He crossed himself with an elephant, it didn't go to well
The elephant was willing, my daddy he said "Ouch!"
It took me twenty-seven days to scrape him off the couch!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles
My brother passed away last week, I guess that's kinda sad
Because he was the best brother that I have ever had
But he'll always be with me because we made a pact:
I'll put my hand right up him and start a ventriloquist act!
My brother passed away last week, I guess that's kinda sad
Because he was the best brother that I have ever had
But he'll always be with me because we made a pact:
I'll put my hand right up him and start a ventriloquist act!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery
My mother died the other day, I hit her with a cosh
I hoped that in the will she would leave me lots of dosh
But when I read the will I found out that I was not rich
She just left me her knickers, what a stupid bitch!
My mother died the other day, I hit her with a cosh
I hoped that in the will she would leave me lots of dosh
But when I read the will I found out that I was not rich
She just left me her knickers, what a stupid bitch!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Carolin Quentin:
Last Night I waited I waited all night long
I waited for my boyfriend I sang a little song:
"Where in the hell are you darling dear?"
But he didn't turn up so I'm still waiting here.
Last Night I waited I waited all night long
I waited for my boyfriend I sang a little song:
"Where in the hell are you darling dear?"
But he didn't turn up so I'm still waiting here.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
Oh I meet a girl I really really like
I hope she'd come over, but she didn't! (angrily) Can you believe it?
You know, I've been waiting! I've been waiting!
No call! No phone call! (storms off)
Oh I meet a girl I really really like
I hope she'd come over, but she didn't! (angrily) Can you believe it?
You know, I've been waiting! I've been waiting!
No call! No phone call! (storms off)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
When it comes to girl I seem to have some kind of hex
I can never get I want and that is sex
I'm just a run around I scream and I rant
I guess should just pay money like my friend Hugh Grant
When it comes to girl I seem to have some kind of hex
I can never get I want and that is sex
I'm just a run around I scream and I rant
I guess should just pay money like my friend Hugh Grant
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery:
I waited in the resturant I waited just all night
I drank so much whiskey I began to get quite tight
And there no-one turned up in the end and I thought "oh, no"
And then I kissed a labrador and then I ... (cracks up)
I waited in the resturant I waited just all night
I drank so much whiskey I began to get quite tight
And there no-one turned up in the end and I thought "oh, no"
And then I kissed a labrador and then I ... (cracks up)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Stephen Frost:
When I was a young man I went to my friend's house for tea
But he was growing up too fast, he was going through puberty
He had hairs on his top lip and underneath his arms
His mother came in and caught us kissing and.. joined in.
When I was a young man I went to my friend's house for tea
But he was growing up too fast, he was going through puberty
He had hairs on his top lip and underneath his arms
His mother came in and caught us kissing and.. joined in.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
Ho, ho, oh I hate puberty
All my things are sticking out and I have got acne
Oh, oh, oh, I do not want to grow
So if this is a Hoedown, I'll just do-si-do!
Ho, ho, oh I hate puberty
All my things are sticking out and I have got acne
Oh, oh, oh, I do not want to grow
So if this is a Hoedown, I'll just do-si-do!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
I like going grey, I really, really do
I really, really, really, really, please don't misconstrue
To many it's a source of consternation
But I'm quite happy with my hair pigmentation!
I like going grey, I really, really do
I really, really, really, really, please don't misconstrue
To many it's a source of consternation
But I'm quite happy with my hair pigmentation!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
Things are starting to happen to me way below my belt
It's the strangest thing that I have ever felt
I turn out the lights and I play with my crotch
Every night when I watch all the girls on Baywatch!
Things are starting to happen to me way below my belt
It's the strangest thing that I have ever felt
I turn out the lights and I play with my crotch
Every night when I watch all the girls on Baywatch!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Caroline Quentin:
Yee-ha!
I always like to bite my nails, it makes me feel so good
I always like to bite my nails, although I know I should
I sometimes get a bit of dirt right between my teeth
It makes me feel just great to bite my nails just beneath!
Yee-ha!
I always like to bite my nails, it makes me feel so good
I always like to bite my nails, although I know I should
I sometimes get a bit of dirt right between my teeth
It makes me feel just great to bite my nails just beneath!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Stephen Frost:
I went up the Eiffel Tower just the other day
I threw off myself, my braces and they swayed
I went down and I went up, and down and up again
I went up and down so fast I ended up in Big Ben! (Clive: Not bad!)
I went up the Eiffel Tower just the other day
I threw off myself, my braces and they swayed
I went down and I went up, and down and up again
I went up and down so fast I ended up in Big Ben! (Clive: Not bad!)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
I really like to bite some nails, I really really do
I bite them, bite them, bite them and then I shout "Yahoo!"
I bite them here, I bite them there, I bite them to the bone
But I never, ever, ever bite my own!
I really like to bite some nails, I really really do
I bite them, bite them, bite them and then I shout "Yahoo!"
I bite them here, I bite them there, I bite them to the bone
But I never, ever, ever bite my own!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stles:
There's one thing that I really shouldn't do
It's my nails the I love to chew
Day after day I can't stop, what a twist
I've chewed off my nails, now I'm nibbling on my wrist!
There's one thing that I really shouldn't do
It's my nails the I love to chew
Day after day I can't stop, what a twist
I've chewed off my nails, now I'm nibbling on my wrist!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery:
I really like to chew my nails, I do it all night through
And then when I've finished, I say to myself "Phew!"
And then I go out and get myself some ice-cream with raspberry ripple
And after that I begin to suck and swallow my own nipples!
I really like to chew my nails, I do it all night through
And then when I've finished, I say to myself "Phew!"
And then I go out and get myself some ice-cream with raspberry ripple
And after that I begin to suck and swallow my own nipples!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
Life is very fickle from birth to the tomb
That I remember one day when I came out of the womb
I came out a-spluttering and covered in green mush
First thing that I heard was "Push! Push! Push!"
Life is very fickle from birth to the tomb
That I remember one day when I came out of the womb
I came out a-spluttering and covered in green mush
First thing that I heard was "Push! Push! Push!"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Caroline Quentin:
I am being born and heading out the womb
I am being born and coming just too soon
I am being born, I can hear a cry
I am being born, I'm hurting ma, that's why!
I am being born and heading out the womb
I am being born and coming just too soon
I am being born, I can hear a cry
I am being born, I'm hurting ma, that's why!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
My son was born the other day
It really was exciting, really, really in a big way
I look at him there with his great big smile
I didn't know I had him upside down all the while!
My son was born the other day
It really was exciting, really, really in a big way
I look at him there with his great big smile
I didn't know I had him upside down all the while!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
All I really feel is a doctor's hands on my bum
He's pulling really hard and I'm afraid here I come
I wanna stay where I am, don't wanna leave that tube
Hey, but since I'm out here, give me some of that big ol' boob!
All I really feel is a doctor's hands on my bum
He's pulling really hard and I'm afraid here I come
I wanna stay where I am, don't wanna leave that tube
Hey, but since I'm out here, give me some of that big ol' boob!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?