Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Greg Proops:
The other day my girlfriend said "Greg, you want a thrill?"
She took me to a bridge at the bottom of a hill
She tied a cord to my back and I ran out of luck
'Cos when she pushed me off it, I just yelled out "Wow!"
The other day my girlfriend said "Greg, you want a thrill?"
She took me to a bridge at the bottom of a hill
She tied a cord to my back and I ran out of luck
'Cos when she pushed me off it, I just yelled out "Wow!"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
I love to bungee jump, I do it every day
It's such a nifty, nifty, nifty, nifty way to play
I like to do it... and people say it's dangerous but it depends
I find it really dangerous 'cos I don't tie the other end!
I love to bungee jump, I do it every day
It's such a nifty, nifty, nifty, nifty way to play
I like to do it... and people say it's dangerous but it depends
I find it really dangerous 'cos I don't tie the other end!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
I like to jump off bridges, it's really lots of fun
But I'm in a lot of pain when the day is done
I don't have a cord, but you'll never hear me blubber
I can still go up and down, my penis made of rubber!
I like to jump off bridges, it's really lots of fun
But I'm in a lot of pain when the day is done
I don't have a cord, but you'll never hear me blubber
I can still go up and down, my penis made of rubber!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg Proops:
Tory politicians, they really are a drag
bumming common people, that just ain't my bag
But I am a waffler and a total prat
So next election I will vote Liberal Democrat!
Tory politicians, they really are a drag
bumming common people, that just ain't my bag
But I am a waffler and a total prat
So next election I will vote Liberal Democrat!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Rory Bremner:
(as John Major) No one likes our party, they think we're full of shit
divided over Europe, and most of us are split
We're going off on holiday, I do not really care
The feel good factor is coming soon, it's name is Tony Blair! Ha!
(as John Major) No one likes our party, they think we're full of shit
divided over Europe, and most of us are split
We're going off on holiday, I do not really care
The feel good factor is coming soon, it's name is Tony Blair! Ha!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
Politics is very strange, it confuses me alot
There are Tories, Liberals, Whigs and others, put me on the spot
They do things very strange...
(pauses and faints. Greg checks Colin's pulse and shakes his head)
Politics is very strange, it confuses me alot
There are Tories, Liberals, Whigs and others, put me on the spot
They do things very strange...
(pauses and faints. Greg checks Colin's pulse and shakes his head)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
Being in power can loom really large
Seems everyone wants to really be in charge
People who want power will do anything on a dare
As a matter of fact that's why Clive ripped out all his hair!
Being in power can loom really large
Seems everyone wants to really be in charge
People who want power will do anything on a dare
As a matter of fact that's why Clive ripped out all his hair!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Stephen Frost:
I'm scared of spiders and animals too
So I really freak out when I'm at the zoo
But the things that scare me most of all, every now and then
Are those big tall long leggy things they call wo-men!
I'm scared of spiders and animals too
So I really freak out when I'm at the zoo
But the things that scare me most of all, every now and then
Are those big tall long leggy things they call wo-men!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Niall Ashdown:
I first made love to a girl called Sheila
When we made love she proved to be a bit of a squealer
But I was scared but there isn't anything finer
Than to see her, 'cos she's from Asia Minor!
I first made love to a girl called Sheila
When we made love she proved to be a bit of a squealer
But I was scared but there isn't anything finer
Than to see her, 'cos she's from Asia Minor!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
I'm afraid of women, especially at night
They always come towards me, they give me such a fright
They're leathery and small and their wings get in my hair
Oh wait a minute, it's not women, it's vampire bats I.. oh...
I'm afraid of women, especially at night
They always come towards me, they give me such a fright
They're leathery and small and their wings get in my hair
Oh wait a minute, it's not women, it's vampire bats I.. oh...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
My girlfriend's kinda special, she's one of a kind
Down in Soho is where I did find
When I put my mouth on her she really starts to blubber
I guess that's what you get from a girl made of rubber!
My girlfriend's kinda special, she's one of a kind
Down in Soho is where I did find
When I put my mouth on her she really starts to blubber
I guess that's what you get from a girl made of rubber!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Stephen Frost:
I went to my grandmother's just the other week
She greeted the door, and she gave my nipple a tweak
She's always doing that to me, when my back is turned
Last week she opened a coal shed, and there was a milk urn! (starts laughing)
I went to my grandmother's just the other week
She greeted the door, and she gave my nipple a tweak
She's always doing that to me, when my back is turned
Last week she opened a coal shed, and there was a milk urn! (starts laughing)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
I love my grandmother, 'cos she is very nice
I go and visit her on Sundays and she gives me some advice:
Like always use a Bible, and never shave your legs,
And tomorrow she's teaching me how to suck eggs!
I love my grandmother, 'cos she is very nice
I go and visit her on Sundays and she gives me some advice:
Like always use a Bible, and never shave your legs,
And tomorrow she's teaching me how to suck eggs!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
I have a mob-eel phone, it is very neat
It dials, and calls, and washes my feet
It expands, and grows, and turns into a plane
It really is quite neat... I'm insane!
I have a mob-eel phone, it is very neat
It dials, and calls, and washes my feet
It expands, and grows, and turns into a plane
It really is quite neat... I'm insane!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
I love my grandmother and when the day ends
I discover that we are a bit more than friends
(audience laughs and cheers, Ryan stops singing)
...the teeth right off her gums!
I love my grandmother and when the day ends
I discover that we are a bit more than friends
(audience laughs and cheers, Ryan stops singing)
...the teeth right off her gums!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg Proops
Hi Ich bin ein German, my name is Helmut Kohl
And you know kids I really really like to rock and roll
I like to go to America, it's where I get my kicks
'Cos President Clinton knows all the easy chicks!
Hi Ich bin ein German, my name is Helmut Kohl
And you know kids I really really like to rock and roll
I like to go to America, it's where I get my kicks
'Cos President Clinton knows all the easy chicks!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Rory Bremner
(as David Frost) Welcome to world leaders, my name is David Frost
I'm bringing you world leaders, no matter what the cost
(as Bill Clinton) I'm a sorta world leader, I'm a pleasant kinda fella!
(as Nelson Mandela) But I'm an even nicer bloke, my name's Nelson Mandela!
(as David Frost) Welcome to world leaders, my name is David Frost
I'm bringing you world leaders, no matter what the cost
(as Bill Clinton) I'm a sorta world leader, I'm a pleasant kinda fella!
(as Nelson Mandela) But I'm an even nicer bloke, my name's Nelson Mandela!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie
I'm a world leader, I hate democracy
Because you know I'm a dicatator, you see
I go to make people march to and fro and back
The best thing about being dictator is I look good in black!
I'm a world leader, I hate democracy
Because you know I'm a dicatator, you see
I go to make people march to and fro and back
The best thing about being dictator is I look good in black!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles
Once I ruled Israel with an iron hand
I was the best leader in all of the land
Sure I was rich, but no-one lived in fear
I've got silver in my pocket and gold in my ear!
Once I ruled Israel with an iron hand
I was the best leader in all of the land
Sure I was rich, but no-one lived in fear
I've got silver in my pocket and gold in my ear!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg Proops:
I am nine months pregnant, I tell you that it hurts
Every year I pop out a couple of little squirts
When I go into the room to have those little.. drugs...
Oh fuck my ass!
You know, failing is one of the major parts of television. If we may, I'll pick it up.
Oh I'm a little baby, I live inside my mummy
In a couple of months time I'll come out of her tummy
When I'm grown up I will run around on rugs
But so she doesn't cry I hope she takes a lot of drugs!
I am nine months pregnant, I tell you that it hurts
Every year I pop out a couple of little squirts
When I go into the room to have those little.. drugs...
Oh fuck my ass!
You know, failing is one of the major parts of television. If we may, I'll pick it up.
Oh I'm a little baby, I live inside my mummy
In a couple of months time I'll come out of her tummy
When I'm grown up I will run around on rugs
But so she doesn't cry I hope she takes a lot of drugs!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Karen Maruyama:
All right.
Well having a baby should be given to men
'Cos when I had mine I killed my O.B.G.Y.N.
Hey having a baby, it makes me want to beg
'Cos nothing's more painful than seeing that thing drop through your legs - OWW!!
All right.
Well having a baby should be given to men
'Cos when I had mine I killed my O.B.G.Y.N.
Hey having a baby, it makes me want to beg
'Cos nothing's more painful than seeing that thing drop through your legs - OWW!!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
There's nothing more beautiful in this great big earth
Than watching a wife... giving birth
Just seeing it fills me with ecstacy
The thing I liked best was thank God it wasn't me!
There's nothing more beautiful in this great big earth
Than watching a wife... giving birth
Just seeing it fills me with ecstacy
The thing I liked best was thank God it wasn't me!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
Watching a baby come out can be really neat
I pull up a chair and I sit right down at her feet
They call the police on me so I'm heading out the door
Apparently because she's never seen me before!
Watching a baby come out can be really neat
I pull up a chair and I sit right down at her feet
They call the police on me so I'm heading out the door
Apparently because she's never seen me before!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
I'm a western boy, I like my pants real tight
I like 'em long and lean and fittin' just right
When I slip 'em on they feel so nice and coolie
Especially when they've lynched me up and I'm pressed against my goolies!
I'm a western boy, I like my pants real tight
I like 'em long and lean and fittin' just right
When I slip 'em on they feel so nice and coolie
Especially when they've lynched me up and I'm pressed against my goolies!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Brad Sherwood:
I think pasta is religious in fact I think it's holy
I cover myself in marinara and pads of ravioli
I sometimes clean al-dente with using it like floss
And sometimes I stir it in my pants to make the special sauce!
(collapses onto the step behind in laughter)
I think pasta is religious in fact I think it's holy
I cover myself in marinara and pads of ravioli
I sometimes clean al-dente with using it like floss
And sometimes I stir it in my pants to make the special sauce!
(collapses onto the step behind in laughter)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie:
I like wearing pants that are very, very tight
I wear them in the day and I wear them in the night
Sure sometimes it just cuts off all my circulation,
But I don't... (collapses)
I like wearing pants that are very, very tight
I wear them in the day and I wear them in the night
Sure sometimes it just cuts off all my circulation,
But I don't... (collapses)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
When I go out clubbing my pants are mighty tight
Sometimes it gets me in many, many fights
Everybody looks at me, they go "You son of a gun!"
But I'm not actually wearing any, they're just painted on!
When I go out clubbing my pants are mighty tight
Sometimes it gets me in many, many fights
Everybody looks at me, they go "You son of a gun!"
But I'm not actually wearing any, they're just painted on!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
YEE-HA!
I've been having problems, with me and my feller,
So we went to see a marriage counsellor.
Her name was Helen, she was very nice,
Now I live with her instead, and my life is full of spice.
YEE-HA!
I've been having problems, with me and my feller,
So we went to see a marriage counsellor.
Her name was Helen, she was very nice,
Now I live with her instead, and my life is full of spice.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?