Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Stephen Fry - Salman Rushdie
Josie Lawrence - Barbara Cartland
Paul Merton - A combination of a sex manual and The Highway Code
John Sessions - Griff Rhys Jones - "My Life in the Theatre" (Griff had appeared in the previous segment of Comic Relief)
Josie Lawrence - Barbara Cartland
Paul Merton - A combination of a sex manual and The Highway Code
John Sessions - Griff Rhys Jones - "My Life in the Theatre" (Griff had appeared in the previous segment of Comic Relief)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ron West - William Goldman
Griff Rhys Jones - Edward Lear
Paul Merton - Nostradamus
John Sessions - Philip Larkin
Griff Rhys Jones - Edward Lear
Paul Merton - Nostradamus
John Sessions - Philip Larkin
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane - The Journals of Lewis and Clark
Mark Cohen - Mario Puzo
Greg Proops - Millie the White House Dog
John Sessions - Ernest Hemingway
Mark Cohen - Mario Puzo
Greg Proops - Millie the White House Dog
John Sessions - Ernest Hemingway
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg Proops - Zane Grey
George McGrath - The "various authors of The Bible"
Ryan Stiles - Tony Esposito, a writer for National Geographic
Mike McShane - an American Greetings card
George McGrath - The "various authors of The Bible"
Ryan Stiles - Tony Esposito, a writer for National Geographic
Mike McShane - an American Greetings card
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Jim Sweeney - Agatha Christie
Steve Steen - Andrew Morton
Paul Merton - Hello! Magazine
Tony Slattery - The Rhyming Couplets of Rupert Bear
Steve Steen - Andrew Morton
Paul Merton - Hello! Magazine
Tony Slattery - The Rhyming Couplets of Rupert Bear
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Jim Sweeney - Lewis Carroll
Steve Steen - Jackie Collins
Tony Slattery - Disembodied head from TV ads for The Sun Newspaper
Mike McShane - Dr. Seuss
Steve Steen - Jackie Collins
Tony Slattery - Disembodied head from TV ads for The Sun Newspaper
Mike McShane - Dr. Seuss
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Chip: Hey, you've had a couple too many. What's your problem?
Jane: Clive, he's left me.
Chip: I get more women in here with that.
Jane: Clive, he's left me.
Chip: I get more women in here with that.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Jane Brucker:
Can you imagine, I want to get high, do you have a joint?
Do you know what I have to do, just to get a point?
Oh I know that my love for him, could never be,
What I've had to do, to win on TV.
Can you imagine, I want to get high, do you have a joint?
Do you know what I have to do, just to get a point?
Oh I know that my love for him, could never be,
What I've had to do, to win on TV.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Chip Esten:
I know it's sad, when you can't date,
A sexy moderator, with a shiny pate.
The more kind of girls come here, and they're crying in these joints,
Yeah you may have lost him, but I've just lost all my points.
I know it's sad, when you can't date,
A sexy moderator, with a shiny pate.
The more kind of girls come here, and they're crying in these joints,
Yeah you may have lost him, but I've just lost all my points.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Steve Steen:
I've come in here, I'm in a bit of a flap,
And you look like a helpful chap,
I feel all cornered, like I'm in a trap,
And it's just because I just can't crap.
I've come in here, I'm in a bit of a flap,
And you look like a helpful chap,
I feel all cornered, like I'm in a trap,
And it's just because I just can't crap.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
Don't try here, it'll be a big mess,
I'm stuck for a solution, I confess.
I don't want to see you get any meaner,
So here, take this vacuum cleaner.
Don't try here, it'll be a big mess,
I'm stuck for a solution, I confess.
I don't want to see you get any meaner,
So here, take this vacuum cleaner.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Jim Sweeney:
I've got a problem, it's making me sick.
Frankly, I've got a useless dick.
My life it ain't no fun,
Man it's just a real bummer.
Can you help me 'bout my useless dick?
I've got a problem, it's making me sick.
Frankly, I've got a useless dick.
My life it ain't no fun,
Man it's just a real bummer.
Can you help me 'bout my useless dick?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
Come again? I'm sorry, I'll rephrase that.
I take those problems seriously.
Lack of orgasm can make you deliriously ... upset.
I've got an idea for you, (hands over drink)
Here's a stiff one, that oughta do.
Have yourself another, on the house.
Come again? I'm sorry, I'll rephrase that.
I take those problems seriously.
Lack of orgasm can make you deliriously ... upset.
I've got an idea for you, (hands over drink)
Here's a stiff one, that oughta do.
Have yourself another, on the house.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery:
I'm the bacon and you're my chips.
I'd like to shipwreck in those standy-out nips.
You are the centre of my life,
If you weren't a big butch man, I'd ask you to be my wife.
I'm the bacon and you're my chips.
I'd like to shipwreck in those standy-out nips.
You are the centre of my life,
If you weren't a big butch man, I'd ask you to be my wife.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
You know a lot of people say strange things,
But very few of them get through to my heart strings.
I've put up a front for, oh so long.
But the burning in your eyes is oh so strong!
You've seen through me! (throws the towel, glass and bottle to the floor)
Then do me!
Right here!
(Mike lies face down on the bar, Tony goes to climb onto him)
You know a lot of people say strange things,
But very few of them get through to my heart strings.
I've put up a front for, oh so long.
But the burning in your eyes is oh so strong!
You've seen through me! (throws the towel, glass and bottle to the floor)
Then do me!
Right here!
(Mike lies face down on the bar, Tony goes to climb onto him)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(Ryan is wearing a bright orange shirt)
Mike: Don't mess with the Neon Love Chicken!
Greg: Who ordered pumpkin?
Ryan: Shut up! Everybody shut up!
Clive: It's the Stiles tartan! I wish I hadn't said that...
Mike: Don't mess with the Neon Love Chicken!
Greg: Who ordered pumpkin?
Ryan: Shut up! Everybody shut up!
Clive: It's the Stiles tartan! I wish I hadn't said that...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
People say things to me that really make me hurt
Sometimes they complain and joke about my shirt
I'm not sure if it's some other joke that I've missed
People make fun of me because I wear fashions from Sunkist!
People say things to me that really make me hurt
Sometimes they complain and joke about my shirt
I'm not sure if it's some other joke that I've missed
People make fun of me because I wear fashions from Sunkist!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
I know you got problems, I can say
It's a bright shirt, but what the hey!
You're lookin' healthy, believe you and me
With the shirt like that you must be getting your Vitamin C
I tell you baby, keep it alive-a
Dip your shirt in this vodka and have a screwdriver!
I know you got problems, I can say
It's a bright shirt, but what the hey!
You're lookin' healthy, believe you and me
With the shirt like that you must be getting your Vitamin C
I tell you baby, keep it alive-a
Dip your shirt in this vodka and have a screwdriver!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike: I haven't seen you around here for the last couple of weeks. What's going on, Tony?
Tony: They've been difficult times. Shall I tell you about it?
Mike: Lay it on me, brother!
Tony: They've been difficult times. Shall I tell you about it?
Mike: Lay it on me, brother!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery:
I've got a problem, I'd like to report
When I see Porky Pig, my pants distort!
Oh yeah, you know what I mean
When I see that porker, I spill my seed
(Greg and Ryan lose it in the background)
You know, animals are my ilk
I spray them with man-milk
I go, oh yeah, Porky you're the one
For me! (snorts like a pig)
I've got a problem, I'd like to report
When I see Porky Pig, my pants distort!
Oh yeah, you know what I mean
When I see that porker, I spill my seed
(Greg and Ryan lose it in the background)
You know, animals are my ilk
I spray them with man-milk
I go, oh yeah, Porky you're the one
For me! (snorts like a pig)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
I've heard all around town
How you've been throwin' down
Hanging out at that late night cottage
Indulging in some porcine frotage
Well you gotta get away from that
It's gonna ruin you and your name, you bad cat
I say don't do you no harm
Go get yourself a nice place on the farm
But remember, above all
Doing too much pork raised cholesterol!
I've heard all around town
How you've been throwin' down
Hanging out at that late night cottage
Indulging in some porcine frotage
Well you gotta get away from that
It's gonna ruin you and your name, you bad cat
I say don't do you no harm
Go get yourself a nice place on the farm
But remember, above all
Doing too much pork raised cholesterol!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie: (Hands over a drink) Here you go.
Ryan: Thank you. It's not alcohol is it?
Josie: No, just apple juice.
Ryan: Thank you. It's not alcohol is it?
Josie: No, just apple juice.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles
I've got a friend, he's kind of new
He likes me and I don't know what to do.
He talks to me and sometimes he begs,
It's hard to turn down that furry little thing between my legs!
I've got a friend, he's kind of new
He likes me and I don't know what to do.
He talks to me and sometimes he begs,
It's hard to turn down that furry little thing between my legs!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
You really are a very silly fellow
Teddies shouldn't go down below, they should remain on the pillow
If you keep putting him there he'll get all nasty and wet
So don't keep doing it, just use a neighbour's pet!
You really are a very silly fellow
Teddies shouldn't go down below, they should remain on the pillow
If you keep putting him there he'll get all nasty and wet
So don't keep doing it, just use a neighbour's pet!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(Josie looks embarrassed at what she's just sung!)
Clive: Does the expression of "teddy bear" bear a different meaning in America?
Clive: Does the expression of "teddy bear" bear a different meaning in America?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?