Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes

Drew: Rejected gift ideas that the wise men considered.
Colin: (pause) Water skis.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Odd definitions found in Webster's Dictionary.
Colin: "Practical joke": see "fooling someone". "Fooling someone": see "practical joke".

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: What the queen of England is really saying to the people in the greeting line.
Colin: Who got kicked off the island this week?

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: If lessons in love and sex were taught in the style of "Sesame Street".
Colin: (suggestively) Now it's time to look at Big Bird.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Shows on which you would not expect Barney the Dinosaur to make a cameo.
Colin: [mimicking Barney] I'm the father, Rachel!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: [mimicking Barney] I'm voting Michael off the island!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Prizes you'd like to find in your cereal box.
Colin: [pretends to open box] Pamela Anderson!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles: Hmm... Blue Suede Shoes...
Colin Mochrie: Nice Pants.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin Mochrie: What's the Buzz? Tell Me What's A-Happenin'.
Ryan Stiles: Nowhere Man.
Colin Mochrie: Really? That Sucks.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Chip Esten: Theme from Jaws?
Colin Mochrie: I'll Get a Harpoon, La La La-La!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: What do I look like?!
Colin: Shut up!
Ryan: What do I-
Colin: I'll tell you what you look like: a big stick with a big nose! That's it!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: (to Wayne) You get the explosives-
Wayne: (points up at Colin's head as Ryan touches Colin's bald spot) Let's not go there!
Colin: (to Ryan) I KNOW I'M A DOCTOR!
Ryan: DON'T WORRY I'M A DOCTOR!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[Colin grabs Ryan's nose in the middle of his line.]
Wayne: Is that what I think it is?
Colin: It is...but it's...bigger.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: Look, I've got a plan.
Wayne: I don't think so.
Colin: I do!
Wayne: I don't think so!
Colin: BUTT! [mimes whacking Wayne in the face with the butt of a rifle]

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: This is a great country!
Colin: I know you'll find this hard to believe, but that was the closest I have ever got to cheerleaders.
Drew: Your wife's up in Canada, right?
Colin: Who? [audience laughter] ... Yes, she is. Lovely woman, love her deeply.
Drew: Can't wait for her to see the show.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin[as Pikachu]: Pikachu! [starts showering lightning bolts at Ryan and Kathy]

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: How are the wife and kids, by the way?
Colin: Who? [audience laughter] They're lovely. They're fine.
Drew: Yeah.
Colin: [laughing] No, I'm sure they are! This doesn't air for a while, right?
Drew: Yeah.
Colin: Yeah, yeah, they're fine.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: [To Robin Williams who is a paranoid member of the Fashion Police] Fashion Consultant!
Drew: No. Not quite...
Colin: Who needs decaf!
Drew: They have a name for these kind of people.
Colin: Yes they do. You know if I was a bigger star I'd have one of him.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Last September, I had a stressful day.
I had to pack my stuff and move away.
[Studders]But-whenthing-one...Wait oh, man.
I couldn't fit my fat ass in the van.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Hoedowns about magicians are really hard to do
Hard to think of one verse let alone even two
Let me tell you something that will give you a little laugh
(Turns to Wayne) If you take my rhyme again, I'm gonna saw your ass in half!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Well people always asked me, "hey Drew did you lose weight?"
And I tell them, "thanks I feel great"
I found a diet plan that's like no other
I burn all my calories by banging Wayne's mother

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Christmas is a holiday that I really hate
There's nothing about it to which I can relate
So every December 25th I take off my shoes
And go down to the Deli and hang out with the Jews

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Let me tell you something that just happened to me
My momma started drinking when I was just three
Now I shouldn't let the secret slip
But my momma started drinking when she married Chip

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Well I hate radio today
They don't have anything good to play
All they play is junk, they are in a rut
I wish they take the Backstreet Boys and shove 'em up their butt

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I love the village people, they give me confidence
Even though I'm not bright, I am rather dense
I have a fat white body, and I don't have a tan
But when I put on leather pants, I am a macho man!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Well today it was our 100th show
It's been really fun friend don't you know
Let me tell you something. Even though it's been a blast
All you folks that been watching 'Friends' you can kiss my ass!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Well we went to the zoo my girlfriend and I
Just to see some rhinoceros
But there weren't any around so went out to the lake
And I went under water and showed her my snake

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[to his right hand] Let me tell you, ever since I was thirteen
You've given me the best love that I've ever seen.
Let me tell you something I know that you can't stand
I've been cheating on you with my other hand

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I have all my hair and I really am quite happy
I like putting stuff in my hair it makes look real snappy
I love to comb my hair I never need a breather
I'm real happy I'm not Colin Mochrie either

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Oh, I won the lottery, a million smackaroos
That will really keep me in underoos
The only thing that really is a bummer
I can't spend the money cause I'm in jail for running numbers

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?