Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Talking about traffic is boring all the time
It's hard to think about something that will rhyme
Traffic, awww, who cares, it doesn't have a class
Ah, once again I have to mention Melissa's ass
It's hard to think about something that will rhyme
Traffic, awww, who cares, it doesn't have a class
Ah, once again I have to mention Melissa's ass
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Losing all your hair isn't really that bad of a deal
A lot of women love just the way it feels
Just think of it as just a little more face
And you can rent it out as advertising space
A lot of women love just the way it feels
Just think of it as just a little more face
And you can rent it out as advertising space
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I think you will find the best astronaut to be found
I can't wait to blast off and leave this ground
Soon as I get up there, oh boy, I yell "shoot!"
I forgot about my training, and I tinkled in my suit
I can't wait to blast off and leave this ground
Soon as I get up there, oh boy, I yell "shoot!"
I forgot about my training, and I tinkled in my suit
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I came out of my mother at exactly ten to five
Everyone screamed and ran and yelled, "It's alive!"
I can't really blame them, I guess it was kind of scary
Everyone tells me that I resemble Drew Carey
Everyone screamed and ran and yelled, "It's alive!"
I can't really blame them, I guess it was kind of scary
Everyone tells me that I resemble Drew Carey
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I went to the beach, and boy, was the water cold
I got in anyway, because I was bold
When I got in, it was colder than I feared
That's the day that my penis disappeared
I got in anyway, because I was bold
When I got in, it was colder than I feared
That's the day that my penis disappeared
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Singing a song about a vending machine
Don't you know that it's really not my scene?
Trying to think of something clever with a little twist
If we do another hoedown, I'll slit my fucking wrist.
Don't you know that it's really not my scene?
Trying to think of something clever with a little twist
If we do another hoedown, I'll slit my fucking wrist.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I don't pay my taxes every single year
I guess it's the IRS I really really fear
I guess that's bad of me, doesn't show a lot of class
But every time I do they seem to fuck me up the ass
I guess it's the IRS I really really fear
I guess that's bad of me, doesn't show a lot of class
But every time I do they seem to fuck me up the ass
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
My girlfriend is pregnant I just heard from her.
Thinking about it makes me go "grrrrrrrr!!!!"
Someone makes me nervous, someone bring me towels.
Cause when I just went "grrrrrrrr!!!!" I emptied all my bowels.
Thinking about it makes me go "grrrrrrrr!!!!"
Someone makes me nervous, someone bring me towels.
Cause when I just went "grrrrrrrr!!!!" I emptied all my bowels.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
A zoo is a place I don't want to be
All of the animals really frighten me
Here comes a hippo oh no it's kind of scary
Oh it's not a hippo It's just Drew Carey
All of the animals really frighten me
Here comes a hippo oh no it's kind of scary
Oh it's not a hippo It's just Drew Carey
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I'm sure all that money would be really hard to spend
I'm sure It would seem like it would never, ever end
I could give it to charities or so I am told
But I think I would have my penis dipped in gold
I'm sure It would seem like it would never, ever end
I could give it to charities or so I am told
But I think I would have my penis dipped in gold
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Winning a lottery could be kind of funny
Boy I dunno what to do will all that money
A lot of people think that it would be kind of scary
But I would buy this show and fire Drew Carey
Boy I dunno what to do will all that money
A lot of people think that it would be kind of scary
But I would buy this show and fire Drew Carey
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I try to rob every store that I see
but one time I got caught by forty cops how could that be?
I walked right in, and I opened up the door
That's what I get for robbing a donut store.
but one time I got caught by forty cops how could that be?
I walked right in, and I opened up the door
That's what I get for robbing a donut store.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Singing about weight, I don't know where to begin
As you've noticed, I really am quite thin
I watch my weight, I don't want to end up dead
There's very few calories in licking Colin's head.
As you've noticed, I really am quite thin
I watch my weight, I don't want to end up dead
There's very few calories in licking Colin's head.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I cheated on my wife with her sister and her mother
I also slept with her cousin and her brother
Boy, when she heard, Boy did it sting her
The good news is next week, we're on "Jerry Springer"
I also slept with her cousin and her brother
Boy, when she heard, Boy did it sting her
The good news is next week, we're on "Jerry Springer"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Singing about the IRS, a bell doesn't ring
You know I'm not that good when I have to sing
Singing these hoedowns on "Whose Line?", you know
But I don't really care, 'cause I'm on another show
You know I'm not that good when I have to sing
Singing these hoedowns on "Whose Line?", you know
But I don't really care, 'cause I'm on another show
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: I'd like a big hammer.
Ryan: [aside] I knew she wanted a big hammer. Maybe a couple of nails and a good screw. (from UK version)
Ryan: [aside] I knew she wanted a big hammer. Maybe a couple of nails and a good screw. (from UK version)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: Yes. I'd like a haircut.
Ryan: [aside] I knew he wasn't here for a haircut. And even if he was, it wouldn't take long.
Ryan: [aside] I knew he wasn't here for a haircut. And even if he was, it wouldn't take long.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Things to say that will always start a fight.
Ryan Stiles: Guys wanna fight?
Ryan Stiles: Guys wanna fight?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Things you can say to your dog, but not your girlfriend.
Ryan Stiles: What did you just do?! What did you just do? Do I have to make you rub your nose in that?
[later]
Ryan Stiles: Get off the mailman! Get off the mailman!
Ryan Stiles: What did you just do?! What did you just do? Do I have to make you rub your nose in that?
[later]
Ryan Stiles: Get off the mailman! Get off the mailman!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Things that Drew Carey whispers in his date's ear.
Ryan Stiles: Keep the change.
Ryan Stiles: Keep the change.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: Entries in Drew Carey's Diary.
Ryan Stiles: (pretends to write) Dear Diary, Ryan looked at me again today. (buzz) How I wish I was sitting on his lap. (buzz, Ryan then leaves and then returns) Dear Diary, when will people find out that I'm not a man. (buzz)
Drew Carey: And moving right along (pulls out a paper) What our audience is thinking right now?
Ryan Stiles: I wonder if that's all true.
Ryan Stiles: (pretends to write) Dear Diary, Ryan looked at me again today. (buzz) How I wish I was sitting on his lap. (buzz, Ryan then leaves and then returns) Dear Diary, when will people find out that I'm not a man. (buzz)
Drew Carey: And moving right along (pulls out a paper) What our audience is thinking right now?
Ryan Stiles: I wonder if that's all true.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: The shortest book ever written.
Ryan: Drew Carey's Acting Tips.
Drew: (mumbling) Drew Carey's Acting Tips
Ryan: See?
Ryan: Drew Carey's Acting Tips.
Drew: (mumbling) Drew Carey's Acting Tips
Ryan: See?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: U.S. cities that will never have a song written about them.
Ryan: (singing) We wuv you, Walla Walla Washington; we wuv you, Walla Walla Washington...
(later) We call it "Butte", not "Butt", Montana...
(later) What's the matter with Weed?
Ryan: (singing) We wuv you, Walla Walla Washington; we wuv you, Walla Walla Washington...
(later) We call it "Butte", not "Butt", Montana...
(later) What's the matter with Weed?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Bad songs to sing in prison.
Ryan: (singing) Jim's escaping through the hole in the wall, the hole in the...
Ryan: (singing) Jim's escaping through the hole in the wall, the hole in the...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Famous Hollywood roles as played by Carol Channing.
Ryan: [Mimicking Carol Channing] I know what you're thinking. Did I fire seven shots or six? Well with all this confusion, I've forgotten myself, so you have to ask yourself one question: Do you feel lucky? Well do you, punk?
[later]
Ryan: [Mimicking Carol Channing] I'm Spartacus!
[later]:
Drew: Things you don't expect to hear when you put your ear to a seashell.
Ryan: [Mimicking Carol Channing] I'm Spartacus!
Ryan: [Mimicking Carol Channing] I know what you're thinking. Did I fire seven shots or six? Well with all this confusion, I've forgotten myself, so you have to ask yourself one question: Do you feel lucky? Well do you, punk?
[later]
Ryan: [Mimicking Carol Channing] I'm Spartacus!
[later]:
Drew: Things you don't expect to hear when you put your ear to a seashell.
Ryan: [Mimicking Carol Channing] I'm Spartacus!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: What God created on an off day.
Ryan: [older voice] And I shall call it "the other white meat".
Ryan: [older voice] And I shall call it "the other white meat".
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew Carey: First drafts of famous movie lines.
Ryan: [Writing] "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a lamb." [later] "Go ahead, make a cake!"
Ryan: [Writing] "Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a lamb." [later] "Go ahead, make a cake!"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?