Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes

Colin: Meow!!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: I've lost track of the story
Wayne: I don't know what has happened
Drew: She wrote me a letter
Colin: My underwear is snappin'
Ryan: I think there was a girl involved
Wayne: That's what I'm thinkin'
Drew: I don't know what to say
Colin: MEOW!!!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne: Today I put on my cap
Kathy: And then I had a drink
Colin: I'm going to get my diploma
Ryan: I know how to think
Wayne: I'm going to walk down the aisle
Kathy: My mom and dad will be so proud
Colin: I am so happy
Ryan: There she is, she's loud

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Kathy: This day's finally come, my friend
Colin: The gown is long and flowing
Ryan: I'm going to get a good job
Wayne: To DeVry I'm going
Kathy: After work I'll go to school
Colin: I study really hard
Ryan: Then I have some wife and kids
Wayne: And then I'll read the Bard

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: Today is my first day
Ryan: And I am so proud
Wayne: I am a good worker
Kathy: And yet, I'm drunk as a dowd
Colin: I work so hard
Ryan: To get to this day
Wayne: I'm glad I graduated
Kathy: And wish I wasn't gay

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: Today I just got laid off
Wayne: Oh, good grac'
Kathy: Graduation's a far memory
Colin: I have to go to a new place
Ryan: I have to find a new job
Wayne: What will I do?
Kathy: I'll get the beer nozzle knob
Colin: There's blood in my stool!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[After the performance, Drew keeps staring at Colin]

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Kathy: What? That totally makes sense to me.
Ryan: Oh god!
Wayne: Improv and a medical report
Ryan: Well, you know it was supposed to rhyme with 'do'
Colin: 'Poo' I guess, but I didn't want to go that route...

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: Graduating can make you nervous
Kathy: Yeah!
Colin: It can do stuff in your...
Kathy: No, I like when it was real!
Colin: Yeah!
Drew: I'm not giving any points for that one! No way!
Colin: I shouldn't be the last person.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne: I took my lass on a date
Chip: We went out for the night
Colin: As we hit the parking lot
Ryan: I got into a fight
Wayne: Scuffled, he took my wallet
Chip: And ran away so fast
Colin: I started crying
Ryan: (thinks for a second)...A stone I passed

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Chip: I screamed just like a lassie
Colin: I ran right after him
Ryan: I jumped into my car
Wayne: The mugger's name was Tim
Chip: I put upon my siren
Colin: And it roared out loud
Ryan: He came to a stop
Wayne: And beat me in front of a crowd

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: I decided to take action
Ryan: I hit him with a club
Wayne: I hit him where the sun don't shine
Chip: He said, "Hey, watch it, Bub!"
Colin: And then he ran away from me
Ryan: I followed him
Wayne: I became a hero
Chip: And my name is Tim

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: I still hear from him
Wayne: From often
Chip: He writes a little letter
Colin: It's as soft as cotton
Ryan: Someday, I'll write back
Wayne: He is my best friend
Chip: And now we both are pen pals
Colin: (quickly, couldn't really finish line) He put my stone back in my end

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[Later...as everyone especially Drew who still cracks up]
Chip: 'He put my stone in my end'!
Ryan: (tries to sing in an irish drinking song version) "Put my stone back in my end! Oh..."
Wayne: Now that is a good friend. "Is this yours?" (showing hand pointing to the camera)
Ryan: That was smooth!
Colin: Try doing that, Cole Porter!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne: Once when I was celebratin'
Brad: I went to bed
Colin: I had too much to drink
Ryan: Woke up to an ugly head
Wayne: She turned over
Brad: And I saw her face
Colin: I screamed in surprise
Ryan: And I sprayed her with mace

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Brad: I jumped 'round right away
Colin: And put on all my clothes
Ryan: And then I ran from the house
Wayne: I hit her, I do suppose
Brad: But she chased right after me
Colin: She got into her car
Ryan: She didn't get there
Wayne: She looked like Jamie Farr

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: Although she was so ugly
Ryan: I took her anyway
Wayne: I use her to scare children away
Brad: ...What the hay.
Colin: Boy, it really worked good
Ryan: I remember that day
Wayne: That I took her to the dog park
Brad: [stammers] What the hay!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: I tried to forget it
Wayne: I tried to drink a lot
Brad: Because she was so ugly
Colin: [stammers and mumbles incoherently] She needed a [babbles] spot
Ryan: Then the day would come again
Wayne: That I'd meet her
Brad: I was so scared
Colin: It looked like someone had beat her

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Category: Colin is Santa Claus announcing his retirement.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Brad: Don't you feel bad that you're going to disappoint everyone?
Colin: Ah, screw 'em!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Brad: Uh, you were quoted as referencing a "ho"? Is this some sort of sex scandal we're not aware of?
Colin: Yes, and I admit, there were three of them.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne: What about all your animal friends?
Colin: Hey! Animal friends are there to be animal friends! If they can't handle being a carpet...(the audience groans)...I may have said too much.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Category: Colin is Batman announcing he is coming out of the closet

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne: [sneezes]
Colin: Bless you.
Wayne: Thank you.
Colin: And thank you for coming.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: How did you keep this hidden for so long?
Colin: Well, extra wide pants. I think that's a natural occurrence of that.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne: Do you have an affinity for the rubber and the cowl?
Colin: Well, I think that's a given. Otherwise, would I be doing what I'm doing? I don't think so, no. Rubber! Cowl! Rubber! Cowl!

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: How's the partner feel about this?
Colin: Of course, he is a little worried, because he depends on me for a lot of the income, but uh... I'm not sure, but I may want to rephrase that later.
Brad: You might want to rephrase that now.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne: Will you still continue to slide up and down the pole?
Colin: Well...not as much, because I have bruised my dynamic duo.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Category: Colin is Noah announcing he's eaten all the animals on the ark

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Wayne: With an attitude like that, why were you the chosen one?
Colin: Because I had the boat.

TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?