Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
A mosquito came up and he bit bit me
He took all my blood can't you see how - see!
I had a lot of blood loss-- [faints]
He took all my blood can't you see how - see!
I had a lot of blood loss-- [faints]
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
My wife gave birth yesterday... [shakes his head, waves his hands while Wayne and Drew congratulate him about it.]
Well guess what my wife just gave birth the other day
And I really supported her all the way
Time went for hour, oh hours were passing....Oh, GOD!
Well guess what my wife just gave birth the other day
And I really supported her all the way
Time went for hour, oh hours were passing....Oh, GOD!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I don't file my taxes every single year
I guess it's the IRS I really, really fear
I guess that's mean that they show a lot of class
But everytime they do, they seem to fuck me up the ass!
I guess it's the IRS I really, really fear
I guess that's mean that they show a lot of class
But everytime they do, they seem to fuck me up the ass!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Singing a song about a vending machine
Don't you know that's really not my scene
Try to think of something clever with a twist
If we do another hoewdown, I slit my fucking wrist!
Don't you know that's really not my scene
Try to think of something clever with a twist
If we do another hoewdown, I slit my fucking wrist!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
When it comes to hoedowns I'm doing another one
After the first one, I thought I was done
Feel like such a fool, and I feel like such a twit
This is what I have to do to please the fucking Brit!
After the first one, I thought I was done
Feel like such a fool, and I feel like such a twit
This is what I have to do to please the fucking Brit!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
It's hard to do puberty without talking about jerking off. "I like to grab my penis, I pull it all the time."
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Don't say it, man. Don't say another hoedown. Don't you even say another hoedown! Don't you go there sister!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I remember the day I lost my viginity
I took my woman and we drove to the city
Let me tell you brother she no like no other
Boy I was embarrased that it was my mother
I took my woman and we drove to the city
Let me tell you brother she no like no other
Boy I was embarrased that it was my mother
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I consider myself quite a fugal frella. But sometimes I....[Brad cracks up, followed by Colin and Ryan] Shut up! Keep on going!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I am an advertiser and I'm a groovy guy
I sit at home just thinking the stuffs you could buy
Lots of stuff that you don't need and that'll make.... [sotto voice] fuck me...in the ass!
I sit at home just thinking the stuffs you could buy
Lots of stuff that you don't need and that'll make.... [sotto voice] fuck me...in the ass!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Oh I am a valet parker and this is my valet vest,
What you need a car and I treated it the best,
I'll drive a thousand miles and I'll drive around the block
And you'll be-- god!! Mother fucking shit.
What you need a car and I treated it the best,
I'll drive a thousand miles and I'll drive around the block
And you'll be-- god!! Mother fucking shit.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[In a pre-pubescent voice] When I was a young boy, I thought I'd never change
And as I got older, I started feeling strange
One day I was standing, and then I saw a girl
And when I saw her booty it... [voice cracks, becomes more deep] totally rocked my world.
And as I got older, I started feeling strange
One day I was standing, and then I saw a girl
And when I saw her booty it... [voice cracks, becomes more deep] totally rocked my world.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Drew: Er, the first game's gonna be a game called "Let's make a date". This is for all of you, er Ryan, Colin and Wayne are gonna be contestants on a dating type show, hoping to be picked by Greg. I don't know why that would ever happen in real life, but that's what it says on the card. Err, each of them has been given a strange characteristic or identity that's written on the cards if you're all ready Greg, off you go.
Greg: Yes, but what is the point, Drew? Since no one would ever pick me? [The audience goes 'awwww', feeling sorry for him]
Ryan: Well, you hurt his feelings.
Wayne: That's nice, Drew. (Drew scoffs)
Ryan: Let's go--
Greg: Hey fuck you, Drew! [Wayne tries to comfort him but he gets up and tries to attack Drew while Ryan and Wayne tries to stop him)
Drew: [as the director clears out the stage] Come on, I was just messing around, having some fun. It was a joke.
Greg: Well words hurt, Drew.
Drew: I'm really, really sorry. [Audience goes "awwww"]
Ryan: Don't you think a hug is in store?
[The audience cheers as Greg and Drew embrace, then laugh as they start groping one another - the audience goes wild. They quickly find their seats again.]
Greg: I've had Drew's ass, and now I want more.
Greg: Yes, but what is the point, Drew? Since no one would ever pick me? [The audience goes 'awwww', feeling sorry for him]
Ryan: Well, you hurt his feelings.
Wayne: That's nice, Drew. (Drew scoffs)
Ryan: Let's go--
Greg: Hey fuck you, Drew! [Wayne tries to comfort him but he gets up and tries to attack Drew while Ryan and Wayne tries to stop him)
Drew: [as the director clears out the stage] Come on, I was just messing around, having some fun. It was a joke.
Greg: Well words hurt, Drew.
Drew: I'm really, really sorry. [Audience goes "awwww"]
Ryan: Don't you think a hug is in store?
[The audience cheers as Greg and Drew embrace, then laugh as they start groping one another - the audience goes wild. They quickly find their seats again.]
Greg: I've had Drew's ass, and now I want more.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Director: A bit slower and a bit more up.
Drew: Slower and more up.
Director: Yeah.
Drew: Slower and more up. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that. Slower and more up.
Drew: Slower and more up.
Director: Yeah.
Drew: Slower and more up. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that. Slower and more up.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: Tarzan think you no love him anymore. Must get back to roots.
Colin: What do you mean?
Ryan: Before you come, Tarzan only have animals. [Audience makes "Ugh" sounds followed by Wayne's laughter] Animals think Tarzan forget about him now. [Beginning to realize] I mean as friends!
Colin: I know! I know!
Colin: What do you mean?
Ryan: Before you come, Tarzan only have animals. [Audience makes "Ugh" sounds followed by Wayne's laughter] Animals think Tarzan forget about him now. [Beginning to realize] I mean as friends!
Colin: I know! I know!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(In 90-Second Alphabet)
[Ryan had been complaining about having to pee earlier]
Drew: Garson, Garson! There's something wrong...
Ryan: Your waiter's in the bathroom, I'll go get him... [leaves the area, apparently going to the bathroom]
[Ryan had been complaining about having to pee earlier]
Drew: Garson, Garson! There's something wrong...
Ryan: Your waiter's in the bathroom, I'll go get him... [leaves the area, apparently going to the bathroom]
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[After Greg messed up a hoedown[
Drew: We have a lot of dead people complaining about your language, so...
Greg: Some dead narcoleptic cross-dressing circus freaks!
Drew: We have a lot of dead people complaining about your language, so...
Greg: Some dead narcoleptic cross-dressing circus freaks!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[The end of a 90-Second Alphabet]
Drew: "Zigfried" and Roy said this was a good place to eat.
Ryan: Absolutely! They've all had dinner here.
Drew: Bozo the Clown said they have the best deserts here.
Ryan: Clowns?! We never serve clowns!
Drew: Don't you deny it!
Ryan: Good gracious, sir! [the audience, along with Colin and Wayne, start to laugh] I've tried to make your meal... [realizes his mistake just as the buzzer sounds] Oh, s***! [falls to the floor]
Drew: "Zigfried" and Roy said this was a good place to eat.
Ryan: Absolutely! They've all had dinner here.
Drew: Bozo the Clown said they have the best deserts here.
Ryan: Clowns?! We never serve clowns!
Drew: Don't you deny it!
Ryan: Good gracious, sir! [the audience, along with Colin and Wayne, start to laugh] I've tried to make your meal... [realizes his mistake just as the buzzer sounds] Oh, s***! [falls to the floor]
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
[In song styles, Brad sings to one of the female audience as Bruce Springsteen]
Brad: Well I can't stop staring at your breast... [The female audience cracks up while Brad, covering his mouth, realizing his mistake]
[While the female audience leave the area, Brad tries to apologize]
Ryan: Goodnight everyone!
Drew: Nice going, Brad!
Colin: This just in, 'Brad is still single!'
Brad: Well I can't stop staring at your breast... [The female audience cracks up while Brad, covering his mouth, realizing his mistake]
[While the female audience leave the area, Brad tries to apologize]
Ryan: Goodnight everyone!
Drew: Nice going, Brad!
Colin: This just in, 'Brad is still single!'
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(Denny doing an unknown hoedown)
Well I miss the 60's, I quite miss a lot
I sit around and listen the music and it was really hot
Well I do a lot of Yardwork that was come to pass
Cause it's a cheap way to get my hands on grass!!
[Just as it was Colin's turn, the director stops the game]
Colin: [Mouths] Thank You!
Denny: Thank you! [while tapping on her shoulder] Thank you very much!
Ryan: [Imitating Denny's move] While I was shooting 'H'
Drew: [Trying to sing like a hoedown] Because I love cocaine...I do lots of yarkwork because [He begins to crack up] I love cocaine.
Well I miss the 60's, I quite miss a lot
I sit around and listen the music and it was really hot
Well I do a lot of Yardwork that was come to pass
Cause it's a cheap way to get my hands on grass!!
[Just as it was Colin's turn, the director stops the game]
Colin: [Mouths] Thank You!
Denny: Thank you! [while tapping on her shoulder] Thank you very much!
Ryan: [Imitating Denny's move] While I was shooting 'H'
Drew: [Trying to sing like a hoedown] Because I love cocaine...I do lots of yarkwork because [He begins to crack up] I love cocaine.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(Weird Newscasters)Brad: Good evening, I'm Jessabelle Spankbottom, and welcome to the 8 o'clock news.
Ryan: [interrupting] And I shall make a British asshole appear.
[Dan Patterson, who just came out to stop Brad was surprised that he got hit by Ryan's joke]
Ryan: [interrupting] And I shall make a British asshole appear.
[Dan Patterson, who just came out to stop Brad was surprised that he got hit by Ryan's joke]
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Colin: We'll be right back to Happy Waldo and the Salty Monkey, but first, have we got a deal for you!
Ryan: Yes, we have, Colin. You know, songs of garbage have made people happy throughout the world for years and years. And nowhere do they love their songs of garbage more than in Jamaica, a little country down south.
Ryan: Yes, we have, Colin. You know, songs of garbage have made people happy throughout the world for years and years. And nowhere do they love their songs of garbage more than in Jamaica, a little country down south.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?