Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Greg, Ryan, Tony & Chip: (singing) Ohhhh myyyyy...
Tony: (sings) ...my panties are in the war
Greg: (sings) The land is better than the water
Tony: (sings) ...my panties are in the war
Greg: (sings) The land is better than the water
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I-ree! I-ree! Ey-oh-eh! (Chip starts to skank)
There is a gal, she's the first girl I kissed
Her name's Yvette, she's my favourite receptionist
You got ta know it, you got ta understand
Sometimes I drop my drawers, and she gives me shorthand!
She's Yvette! She's Yvette!
She's Yvette! Ey-oh! Come on! Ey-oh!
(audience joins in) Ey-oh! Ey-oh!
You know Yvette, she came in last night
She had to be fired 'cos she couldn't type or read or write!
But that's okay, because that's fine
'Cos they have their receptionist, and I've got mine!
Oh Yvette!
There is a gal, she's the first girl I kissed
Her name's Yvette, she's my favourite receptionist
You got ta know it, you got ta understand
Sometimes I drop my drawers, and she gives me shorthand!
She's Yvette! She's Yvette!
She's Yvette! Ey-oh! Come on! Ey-oh!
(audience joins in) Ey-oh! Ey-oh!
You know Yvette, she came in last night
She had to be fired 'cos she couldn't type or read or write!
But that's okay, because that's fine
'Cos they have their receptionist, and I've got mine!
Oh Yvette!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie: Ooooh, uhh yeah, I love you!
Mike: I love you baby! I got a present for you...
Josie: Give it to me!
Mike: I love you baby! I got a present for you...
Josie: Give it to me!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
Our love is so heavy, it's so heavy I can't wait,
To tell how I feel about you so I give you this paperweight.
Our love is so heavy, it's so heavy I can't wait,
To tell how I feel about you so I give you this paperweight.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
Well I love you baby, I love you,
And I think I know your caper.
Come on baby, put your weight on me,
And treat me just like paper!
Well I love you baby, I love you,
And I think I know your caper.
Come on baby, put your weight on me,
And treat me just like paper!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
You're gonna fly away (Josie: Fly away!)
Unless you have some weight on you! (Josie: Weight on me!)
I'm the weight you've been looking for
And I know just what to do.
You're gonna fly away (Josie: Fly away!)
Unless you have some weight on you! (Josie: Weight on me!)
I'm the weight you've been looking for
And I know just what to do.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
Oh baby, you'll never make sad, never make me frown
You will never weigh me down
I love you and it's not too late
For my lovin' paperweight! (Mike: Paperweight!)
You're my paperweight (Mike: My paperweight!)
Oh baby, you'll never make sad, never make me frown
You will never weigh me down
I love you and it's not too late
For my lovin' paperweight! (Mike: Paperweight!)
You're my paperweight (Mike: My paperweight!)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(Staggers around the stage throughout the song, miming holding a drink)
*Cough-Cough* I know the words! I know the words!
Come on everybody, let's be me-ee-rry!
Come on everybody, let's da-aaa-nce!
In the north they eat shaushages
But they only eat shnails in France, not London!
I don't like to eat a snail
It really makes me sick
But I quite like them if you boil 'em in butter
And add a little bit of garlic!
Oh-oooh!
*Cough-Cough* I know the words! I know the words!
Come on everybody, let's be me-ee-rry!
Come on everybody, let's da-aaa-nce!
In the north they eat shaushages
But they only eat shnails in France, not London!
I don't like to eat a snail
It really makes me sick
But I quite like them if you boil 'em in butter
And add a little bit of garlic!
Oh-oooh!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I've got that bar in my hand again,
I've got that bar in my hand and I'm gonna lather up, my friend.
From the top to the bottom I'll scrub,
From back down again, give it a rub,
And you'll be clean as a whistle, my friend,
Because I've got soap in my hand!
There's not enough time in the day
To soap up, hey, what do you say?
When I drop it I pick it up and you know that's the cue to begin!
Well there may be love in the air
And if there's bubbles, well I don't care
Because maybe I'm soaping, I'm hoping, I'm soaping up, my friend!
I've got that bar in my hand and I'm gonna lather up, my friend.
From the top to the bottom I'll scrub,
From back down again, give it a rub,
And you'll be clean as a whistle, my friend,
Because I've got soap in my hand!
There's not enough time in the day
To soap up, hey, what do you say?
When I drop it I pick it up and you know that's the cue to begin!
Well there may be love in the air
And if there's bubbles, well I don't care
Because maybe I'm soaping, I'm hoping, I'm soaping up, my friend!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike: I wanna show you something!
Josie: What?
Mike: Come into the hallway. (points) Look what she did!
Josie: It's beautiful!
Mike: Isn't it great? You know, you and I are perfect because we're such cat lovers. We love everything about cats.
Josie: Everything!
Josie: What?
Mike: Come into the hallway. (points) Look what she did!
Josie: It's beautiful!
Mike: Isn't it great? You know, you and I are perfect because we're such cat lovers. We love everything about cats.
Josie: Everything!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
I love watching them squat on the edge of the tray
All day.
Josie Lawrence:
I love watching them do their little brown poo.
Mike McShane:
Who ever thought that feline defecation
Could be such a swell and singular sensation?
Josie Lawrence:
Who'd ever thought that our love would glitter
Just standing here looking at shit and cat litter?
Mike McShane:
Live our lives with love, but don't cover it up (Josie: Don't cover it up!)
Josie Lawrence:
Litter my life with love, and don't ever stop (Mike: Don't ever stop!)
I love you and that is that
Just like a poo from our favourite cat.
Mike McShane:
Litter our lives...
Both:
With love!
I love watching them squat on the edge of the tray
All day.
Josie Lawrence:
I love watching them do their little brown poo.
Mike McShane:
Who ever thought that feline defecation
Could be such a swell and singular sensation?
Josie Lawrence:
Who'd ever thought that our love would glitter
Just standing here looking at shit and cat litter?
Mike McShane:
Live our lives with love, but don't cover it up (Josie: Don't cover it up!)
Josie Lawrence:
Litter my life with love, and don't ever stop (Mike: Don't ever stop!)
I love you and that is that
Just like a poo from our favourite cat.
Mike McShane:
Litter our lives...
Both:
With love!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
OOOhhh yeah!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-yah!
You know you've been here too long baby
You know you'd better act your age
When you get on my Love Train
Well you'd better have the right gauge!
It gets it rollin' a head of steam
It makes it early, you know what I mean
I'm talkin' Love Train!
Love Train!
Love Train!
Love Train!
I'm the engineer, this is my hat
I'll open up the throttle, you know where it's at
Let the light go around and round inside-a
I'm guaranteed for a first class ride
When we're done, you'll have your fun
On the Love Train!
Love Train! (Audience & Clive: Love Train!)
Love Train! (Audience & Clive: Love Train!)
Love Train!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-yah!
You know you've been here too long baby
You know you'd better act your age
When you get on my Love Train
Well you'd better have the right gauge!
It gets it rollin' a head of steam
It makes it early, you know what I mean
I'm talkin' Love Train!
Love Train!
Love Train!
Love Train!
I'm the engineer, this is my hat
I'll open up the throttle, you know where it's at
Let the light go around and round inside-a
I'm guaranteed for a first class ride
When we're done, you'll have your fun
On the Love Train!
Love Train! (Audience & Clive: Love Train!)
Love Train! (Audience & Clive: Love Train!)
Love Train!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
Well, come on little baby, you know what I mean
Come on let me see you let off steam
You're me old boiler, you're what I like
Come on baby now take a hike!
Everyone's doin' the old boiler
So come on and do it with me!
Well, come on little baby, you know what I mean
Come on let me see you let off steam
You're me old boiler, you're what I like
Come on baby now take a hike!
Everyone's doin' the old boiler
So come on and do it with me!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
WAAAH!
You know you've got me up and in the air
I'm going puffin' steam like I don't care!
I start to choke and I start to boil
I've got me going, I'm a ruggin' toil
Oh baby you gotta what I need
When you get near me baby, I'll turn up the heat!
WAAAH!
You know you've got me up and in the air
I'm going puffin' steam like I don't care!
I start to choke and I start to boil
I've got me going, I'm a ruggin' toil
Oh baby you gotta what I need
When you get near me baby, I'll turn up the heat!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I made an infraction, a tiny tort
And so I had to spend my day there in court
But there's no reason for me to worry
'Cos Alison's sitting right there by the jury!
I am so glad, that's where I went
'Cos the judge told me that I was innocent!
I think I'll go out on a date
With Alison, my court clerk, she's so great!
And so I had to spend my day there in court
But there's no reason for me to worry
'Cos Alison's sitting right there by the jury!
I am so glad, that's where I went
'Cos the judge told me that I was innocent!
I think I'll go out on a date
With Alison, my court clerk, she's so great!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
It's time in the cellar again
I spend time in the cellar, my friend
It ain't bad, well you know it's alright
I've got a chunk of anthracite
Yeah! Anthracite all night!
Anthracite is my delight!
You know I'm all alone, you can come with me
You don't have to touch me, but you can kiss me
And I will pour oil over you, jack
We'll be smelly and oily and black
With ANTHRACITE! (face squares up to the camera, Mike turns away and...)
ANTHRACITE! (squares up to the camera again and turns again)
It's hot tonight! (Mike pretends to headbutt the camera and staggers backwards)
I spend time in the cellar, my friend
It ain't bad, well you know it's alright
I've got a chunk of anthracite
Yeah! Anthracite all night!
Anthracite is my delight!
You know I'm all alone, you can come with me
You don't have to touch me, but you can kiss me
And I will pour oil over you, jack
We'll be smelly and oily and black
With ANTHRACITE! (face squares up to the camera, Mike turns away and...)
ANTHRACITE! (squares up to the camera again and turns again)
It's hot tonight! (Mike pretends to headbutt the camera and staggers backwards)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(Josie holds a glass in her hand and pretends to sip a drink from it)
(to Richard on the piano) I remember this one, Richard!
Do, do, do, doo-mop with me
Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe the floor with me
Get the floor nice and wet, and don't forget!
Oh do, do, do, doo-mop with me
Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe the floor with me
This is a love I won't swap
Because you know that you're my favourite kind of mop!
(to Richard on the piano) I remember this one, Richard!
Do, do, do, doo-mop with me
Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe the floor with me
Get the floor nice and wet, and don't forget!
Oh do, do, do, doo-mop with me
Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe the floor with me
This is a love I won't swap
Because you know that you're my favourite kind of mop!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Hey, Saturday night I did not have a clue where to go
So I picked up my shoes and I tumbled down to old So-ho
I paid my two pounds so I could have a peep
Thought that I'd be there for ten minutes and I would go to sleep
But I saw you!
Drew!
I saw you!
Drew! I saw you!
I wasn't blue
And I am through
'Cos I saw you...
...Butt naked!
Butt naked!
Without any clothes on!
Very bare indeed!
... Tassels just here! (points to his nipples)
And shiny pants, I was in a trance
Oh won't you dance with me?
I'll dance with you, my Drew!
So I picked up my shoes and I tumbled down to old So-ho
I paid my two pounds so I could have a peep
Thought that I'd be there for ten minutes and I would go to sleep
But I saw you!
Drew!
I saw you!
Drew! I saw you!
I wasn't blue
And I am through
'Cos I saw you...
...Butt naked!
Butt naked!
Without any clothes on!
Very bare indeed!
... Tassels just here! (points to his nipples)
And shiny pants, I was in a trance
Oh won't you dance with me?
I'll dance with you, my Drew!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I love my lit-tle triangle
I like to watch it dangle
From my shift, my boot, I like to see
Bush-a-bush-a-boom-boom!
I have a little Volvo
And it start to revolvo
I slap myself silly!
(slaps his thighs, stomach, head, bottom etc. until the end of the tune)
Ohh!
I like to watch it dangle
From my shift, my boot, I like to see
Bush-a-bush-a-boom-boom!
I have a little Volvo
And it start to revolvo
I slap myself silly!
(slaps his thighs, stomach, head, bottom etc. until the end of the tune)
Ohh!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Caroline Quentin:
(sighs)
Look at the sea (Josie: Look at the sea!)
Then look at me!
Look at the sky (Josie: Look at the sky!)
And then see the love in my eyes!
(sighs)
Look at the sea (Josie: Look at the sea!)
Then look at me!
Look at the sky (Josie: Look at the sky!)
And then see the love in my eyes!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
Once our love had its freedom (Caroline: Mm-hmm!)
Through the sea it did sail (Caroline: Yes it did!)
Then those who hated us, wanted us washed up
On the beach...
Once our love had its freedom (Caroline: Mm-hmm!)
Through the sea it did sail (Caroline: Yes it did!)
Then those who hated us, wanted us washed up
On the beach...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence:
But we can be lying on this beach (Caroline: Mm-hmm!)
And we really don't care (Caroline: We just don't care!)
Our love may be like a beached whale
And we're maybe running out of air.
But we can be lying on this beach (Caroline: Mm-hmm!)
And we really don't care (Caroline: We just don't care!)
Our love may be like a beached whale
And we're maybe running out of air.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Caroline Quentin:
But our love's big, so big! (Josie: Oh so big! Like a whale!)
Bigger than a whale! (Josie: Bigger than a whale!)
Bigger than a whale! (Josie: Bigger than a whale!)
Our love is...
But our love's big, so big! (Josie: Oh so big! Like a whale!)
Bigger than a whale! (Josie: Bigger than a whale!)
Bigger than a whale! (Josie: Bigger than a whale!)
Our love is...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I'm a hop-head, I'm a crazy hop-head
Can't get enough funky stuff when I'm loaded up and plunged in
I'm jazz dancing, I'm wazz dancing
I'm breaking loose like a kaboose when I'm full of that big H!
I'm listening to Fats Waller tinkling on the ivories!
I'm swinging from the chandelier!
I'm watching Billie Holiday drink nightly
And I'm very full of beer, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir!
(music stops) I can't get speeded up (Mike looks over and Richard starts again), I can't move any faster
I'm a slave and the drug, it is the master
Someday it's gonna run out and someday I'll be through
But baby fill that syringe up, and baby keep it filled up
And baby keep me hopping for you!
Can't get enough funky stuff when I'm loaded up and plunged in
I'm jazz dancing, I'm wazz dancing
I'm breaking loose like a kaboose when I'm full of that big H!
I'm listening to Fats Waller tinkling on the ivories!
I'm swinging from the chandelier!
I'm watching Billie Holiday drink nightly
And I'm very full of beer, yes sir, yes sir, yes sir!
(music stops) I can't get speeded up (Mike looks over and Richard starts again), I can't move any faster
I'm a slave and the drug, it is the master
Someday it's gonna run out and someday I'll be through
But baby fill that syringe up, and baby keep it filled up
And baby keep me hopping for you!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie': This one's for Johnny Depp, by the way.
Caroline: Yeah, we know he watches this programme!
Clive: Who's Johnny Depp? Sorry, I'm a judge...
Josie: He's gorgeous!
Caroline: Yeah, we know he watches this programme!
Clive: Who's Johnny Depp? Sorry, I'm a judge...
Josie: He's gorgeous!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Caroline Quentin:
(Josie: Oh-hoh!)
Yeah, yeah baby (Josie: Baby!), I saw you
Stridin' into my garage!
I said baby (Josie: Baby!), baby (Josie: Baby!)
Mmmm, I liked your carriage!
I said "there's the wench
With a wrench for me!" (Josie: With a wrench for you!)
(Josie: Oh-hoh!)
Yeah, yeah baby (Josie: Baby!), I saw you
Stridin' into my garage!
I said baby (Josie: Baby!), baby (Josie: Baby!)
Mmmm, I liked your carriage!
I said "there's the wench
With a wrench for me!" (Josie: With a wrench for you!)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?