Whose Line Is It Anyway? Quotes
Clive: Ryan is a distinguished actor, there's no chance, no chance, of a distinguished actor being caught with a prostitute in a car. Okay, let's go with that! Come on!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Da-ohhh!
Da-da-da-da-da-doh-doh!
Oh, the police ran up to me one day, and boy they rave and rant
I made the same mistake as my good friend the actor Hugh Grant!
Made the mistake, now jail's where I got to go
And I'm stuck with a very, very huge man whose name happens to be Moe!
(Waves behind him and looks around worried) Whoa-Moe!
Da-da-da-da-da-doh-doh!
Oh, the police ran up to me one day, and boy they rave and rant
I made the same mistake as my good friend the actor Hugh Grant!
Made the mistake, now jail's where I got to go
And I'm stuck with a very, very huge man whose name happens to be Moe!
(Waves behind him and looks around worried) Whoa-Moe!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I understand why you did this, I understand your ploys
Although men try to be really good, let's face it, ladyboys will be boys!
We know you're not so good, we've heard about you and we know about you quite well
I'll help you to escape, my friend, come and limbo under your cell!
(Josie lifts the bars up and Ryan starts to limbo underneath)
Although men try to be really good, let's face it, ladyboys will be boys!
We know you're not so good, we've heard about you and we know about you quite well
I'll help you to escape, my friend, come and limbo under your cell!
(Josie lifts the bars up and Ryan starts to limbo underneath)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony: I've got someone with me now, we havnt been introuduced, who are you?
Ryan: Sorry I'm covering 'The Little Red Riding Hood' story
Ryan: Sorry I'm covering 'The Little Red Riding Hood' story
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: Nice work there.
Greg: Sod off!
Ryan: I am willing to give you two hundred pounds for that.
Greg: Really?!
Ryan: Oh, wave, £50. £25. £10.
Greg: It's yours.
Paul: Compulsory purchase order. We're building a new dual carriageway along here.
Greg & Ryan: Oh!
Greg: Sod off!
Ryan: I am willing to give you two hundred pounds for that.
Greg: Really?!
Ryan: Oh, wave, £50. £25. £10.
Greg: It's yours.
Paul: Compulsory purchase order. We're building a new dual carriageway along here.
Greg & Ryan: Oh!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Paul: (sad) Oh!
Josie: Oh!
Clive: Oh, sorry, I joined in there. I'm not allowed to do that!
Josie: Oh!
Clive: Oh, sorry, I joined in there. I'm not allowed to do that!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Paul: (to Josie) No luck then?
Josie: (under audience applause) I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Josie: (under audience applause) I'm gonna fucking kill you!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony: (pulls string) I want a doll, please.
Jim: Mother, get back in the car.
Jim: Mother, get back in the car.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan: You know, I just noticed. We're both men, aren't we?
Chip: Yeah. (runs)
Chip: Yeah. (runs)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony: Hello
Stephen: Hello
Tony: Here's the engine
Stephen: Thank you... what?
Stephen: Hello
Tony: Here's the engine
Stephen: Thank you... what?
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony: (To Jim) That'll... (cracking up) That'll be two pounds fifty please.
Clive: Tony eats at The Ivy, obviously.
Clive: Tony eats at The Ivy, obviously.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Greg: Sure is lonely up here
Ryan: Sure is
Clive: Well, thank you for the two, it's really just one
Ryan: Sure is
Clive: Well, thank you for the two, it's really just one
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie: We are sailing.
Stephen: I was going to do that one!
Clive: I was going to do that one? Is that a song title?
Stephen: Know you, know me.
Tony: (enters) A life on the ocean waves. (to Stephen) Lipstick on your collar.
Stephen: Roll out the barrel!
Josie: Smoke gets in your eyes. O bla di, o bla da.
Stephen: I can see clearly now.
Josie: Stormy weather!
Tony: I saw three ships!
Stephen: It's raining men!
Ryan: (enters) Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Tony: Baby, now that I've found you.
Stephen: (waves Ryan over) Kum ba ya.
Ryan: Who's that girl?
Josie: Doo be doo, doo be doo be doo doo doo.
Ryan: Wild thing!
Tony: (grabs Josie) Sisters.
Josie: Patches.
Ryan: You're having my baby?
Josie: Help!
Stephen: (grabs Ryan) My brother Jake.
Ryan: Close to you!
Stephen: Alright now?
Ryan: Up up and away!
Stephen: I was going to do that one!
Clive: I was going to do that one? Is that a song title?
Stephen: Know you, know me.
Tony: (enters) A life on the ocean waves. (to Stephen) Lipstick on your collar.
Stephen: Roll out the barrel!
Josie: Smoke gets in your eyes. O bla di, o bla da.
Stephen: I can see clearly now.
Josie: Stormy weather!
Tony: I saw three ships!
Stephen: It's raining men!
Ryan: (enters) Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Tony: Baby, now that I've found you.
Stephen: (waves Ryan over) Kum ba ya.
Ryan: Who's that girl?
Josie: Doo be doo, doo be doo be doo doo doo.
Ryan: Wild thing!
Tony: (grabs Josie) Sisters.
Josie: Patches.
Ryan: You're having my baby?
Josie: Help!
Stephen: (grabs Ryan) My brother Jake.
Ryan: Close to you!
Stephen: Alright now?
Ryan: Up up and away!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
John Sessions
You know about America, Amerigo Vespucci
He was wearing his leather, man, he was carrying Gucci
He was the kind of guy that could go out so high
With his leather bag, He ain't no drag,
Fag, fag, fag.
You know about America, Amerigo Vespucci
He was wearing his leather, man, he was carrying Gucci
He was the kind of guy that could go out so high
With his leather bag, He ain't no drag,
Fag, fag, fag.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery
Get down!
Ha! I went to a party just down the street
I walked inside and guess what I did see
I saw a handbag and it looked kinda fun
I was feeling pretty perverted so I stuck it up my bum! (Looks surprised that he said it, then ashamed)
Get down!
Ha! I went to a party just down the street
I walked inside and guess what I did see
I saw a handbag and it looked kinda fun
I was feeling pretty perverted so I stuck it up my bum! (Looks surprised that he said it, then ashamed)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence
I filled my pockets up and I made them sag
So I really need to buy a handbag
I got it in maroon and I got it in puce
But that kinda colour just ain't no use
The only colour fo-or me
Is bur-bu-bu-bu-burgundy!
I filled my pockets up and I made them sag
So I really need to buy a handbag
I got it in maroon and I got it in puce
But that kinda colour just ain't no use
The only colour fo-or me
Is bur-bu-bu-bu-burgundy!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane
I've got a handbag, I like to fill her
When I fill it up, my bag's a thriller
I take cosmetics, all the kind
And I load 'em in the bag, all the time
My bag's real red, can't you see
It's more than red, it's burgundy
Not rose, not that, not all my friend
And here's where the bag rap's got to end!
I've got a handbag, I like to fill her
When I fill it up, my bag's a thriller
I take cosmetics, all the kind
And I load 'em in the bag, all the time
My bag's real red, can't you see
It's more than red, it's burgundy
Not rose, not that, not all my friend
And here's where the bag rap's got to end!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
John Sessions
I like my chicks wild, I like my chicks wild
Like them wild like a nuclear reactor
Like them to carry all kinds of stuff in their bag
Like lipstick, maybe a Max Factor
Like a rip across the face make them red and high
Then I like to go out with them and say... "Hi!"
I like my chicks wild, I like my chicks wild
Like them wild like a nuclear reactor
Like them to carry all kinds of stuff in their bag
Like lipstick, maybe a Max Factor
Like a rip across the face make them red and high
Then I like to go out with them and say... "Hi!"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery
I was walking with my bag the other day
And my friend saw me with it and he said "Hey"
He said "Hey, hey, hey-hey, hey, hey, hey"
He's really repetitive so I shot him.
I was walking with my bag the other day
And my friend saw me with it and he said "Hey"
He said "Hey, hey, hey-hey, hey, hey, hey"
He's really repetitive so I shot him.
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Josie Lawrence
My bag won't make any animals sick
'Cos my bag is made out of plastic
It has a shoulder strap
You can hear me sing this rap
I love my burgundy handbag, I lo-o-ove it so
And if a mugger comes, I won't let my handbag go, no
(Quieter) I won't let my handbag go, no
(Even quieter) I wont let my handbag go...
My bag won't make any animals sick
'Cos my bag is made out of plastic
It has a shoulder strap
You can hear me sing this rap
I love my burgundy handbag, I lo-o-ove it so
And if a mugger comes, I won't let my handbag go, no
(Quieter) I won't let my handbag go, no
(Even quieter) I wont let my handbag go...
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh-uh
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh-uh
Got the bag, it's got a latch
When I close it up, it's tied to a natch
They think I'm funny because I'm so big
They ask "is that bag made out of a pig?"
I say "No my friend, it's made out of a cow,
If you make fun of my, my fist'll go POW!
Right in your face, knock you on your butt
Then you'll be on the floor and in a rut
Then I'll scoop you up, put you in my bag
And then you'll be a stone butt drag!"
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh-uh
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Uh-huh-uh
Got the bag, it's got a latch
When I close it up, it's tied to a natch
They think I'm funny because I'm so big
They ask "is that bag made out of a pig?"
I say "No my friend, it's made out of a cow,
If you make fun of my, my fist'll go POW!
Right in your face, knock you on your butt
Then you'll be on the floor and in a rut
Then I'll scoop you up, put you in my bag
And then you'll be a stone butt drag!"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane
I'm a master chef, I'm in your kitchen
When I whip up an omelette, Lord it's bitchin'!
I crack the eggs, I lay 'em in the pan
Spread out the cheese and go, goin' on it man!
I flip it over with my hand
It lands right back in the aluminium pan
I serve it up and it's really hot
If you don't like an omelette, then say it a lot!
Tony Slattery
Cooking is my obsession
So what's gonna happen now is a cookery lesson
It's where it's at, food is where it's been
I'm a pissed chef, I'd like a large gin!
Josie Lawrence
Hi everybody, my name is Josie
I'm gonna teach you how to eat spaghetti
You can do it in a lot of ways
You can chop up garlic, make bolognaise
You can make it slow, or make it faster
There's lots of ways that you can do pasta!
Greg Proops
Well I'm a groovy chef, I'm totally illing
And when I make a dish, it's way way thrilling
The girls from the kitchen they hop like a frog
'Cos they want to taste my big hot dog!
I'm a master chef, I'm in your kitchen
When I whip up an omelette, Lord it's bitchin'!
I crack the eggs, I lay 'em in the pan
Spread out the cheese and go, goin' on it man!
I flip it over with my hand
It lands right back in the aluminium pan
I serve it up and it's really hot
If you don't like an omelette, then say it a lot!
Tony Slattery
Cooking is my obsession
So what's gonna happen now is a cookery lesson
It's where it's at, food is where it's been
I'm a pissed chef, I'd like a large gin!
Josie Lawrence
Hi everybody, my name is Josie
I'm gonna teach you how to eat spaghetti
You can do it in a lot of ways
You can chop up garlic, make bolognaise
You can make it slow, or make it faster
There's lots of ways that you can do pasta!
Greg Proops
Well I'm a groovy chef, I'm totally illing
And when I make a dish, it's way way thrilling
The girls from the kitchen they hop like a frog
'Cos they want to taste my big hot dog!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Lee Simpson
Working in a bank has made me a wreck
I keep bouncing things, I especially bounce checks
I haven't had a good day since I've worked at this bank
To pass the time I just have-to-do-a-crossword-puzzle
I try to do things that help pass the time
My manager doesn't like me, he doesn't like my rhyme
So I said to him "You can stuff your job!"
He said "Get out of my bank, you always were a slob!"
Working in a bank has made me a wreck
I keep bouncing things, I especially bounce checks
I haven't had a good day since I've worked at this bank
To pass the time I just have-to-do-a-crossword-puzzle
I try to do things that help pass the time
My manager doesn't like me, he doesn't like my rhyme
So I said to him "You can stuff your job!"
He said "Get out of my bank, you always were a slob!"
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Jan Ravens
When you're choosing a bank to go to
It's really hard to find the best
Which are the ones that are in South Africa?
The ones from which we have to dis-invest!
When you're choosing a bank to go to
It's really hard to find the best
Which are the ones that are in South Africa?
The ones from which we have to dis-invest!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Tony Slattery
Banking is a subject close to my heart
Me and my current account are never far apart
You go to the manager, on closer inspection
He's really dishy, he gives me an erection!
(starts laughing) I'm sorry
Banking is a subject close to my heart
Me and my current account are never far apart
You go to the manager, on closer inspection
He's really dishy, he gives me an erection!
(starts laughing) I'm sorry
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane
The man has the morals of a German shepherd! (Clive: Let's move on.)
Sperm bank! That's what I run!
I have to admit it's a lot of fun
The customers always come in real glad
And when they leave, you know they're sad
I like to deposit, but most of all
When the shop's closed down I can make a withdrawal!
The man has the morals of a German shepherd! (Clive: Let's move on.)
Sperm bank! That's what I run!
I have to admit it's a lot of fun
The customers always come in real glad
And when they leave, you know they're sad
I like to deposit, but most of all
When the shop's closed down I can make a withdrawal!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Mike McShane:
(someone throws Mike a baseball cap, which he puts on)
Philately! It gives me a kick!
They're stamps! I like them to lick!
They're tasty! When I put 'em on the page
I know it's a hobby, but let me act my age!
They're good! And I've got the original
The best! The one and only original!
The Babe Ruth that's upside down
When he's swingin' the bat and it looks like a clown!
Huh, lick it!
(someone throws Mike a baseball cap, which he puts on)
Philately! It gives me a kick!
They're stamps! I like them to lick!
They're tasty! When I put 'em on the page
I know it's a hobby, but let me act my age!
They're good! And I've got the original
The best! The one and only original!
The Babe Ruth that's upside down
When he's swingin' the bat and it looks like a clown!
Huh, lick it!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Ryan Stiles:
I like the stamps, I like 'em all
I'd like to see the Pope
I'd lick that thing and stick it right on
That big white envelope.
Any kind of stamp, oh any kind of stamp
Oh any kind of stamp you seen
My favourite is when I get to dab
A big lick on the Queen!
Let me hear you now! Uhh!
I like the stamps, I like 'em all
I'd like to see the Pope
I'd lick that thing and stick it right on
That big white envelope.
Any kind of stamp, oh any kind of stamp
Oh any kind of stamp you seen
My favourite is when I get to dab
A big lick on the Queen!
Let me hear you now! Uhh!
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway?