Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Ambrose Bierce Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Ambrose Bierce quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Ambrose Bierce. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
By Ambrose Bierce
Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
By Ambrose Bierce
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
By Ambrose Bierce
Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
By Ambrose Bierce
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
By Ambrose Bierce
Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
By Ambrose Bierce
Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
By Ambrose Bierce
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.
By Ambrose Bierce
Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
By Ambrose Bierce
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility. Business
By Ambrose Bierce
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. Business
By Ambrose Bierce
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. Art
By Ambrose Bierce
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Anger
By Ambrose Bierce
Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.
By Ambrose Bierce
You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are avenged 1440 times a day
By Ambrose Bierce
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
By Ambrose Bierce
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
By Ambrose Bierce
What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.
By Ambrose Bierce
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
By Ambrose Bierce
Wedding: a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable
By Ambrose Bierce