Ambrose Bierce Quotes

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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
By Ambrose Bierce
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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics
By Ambrose Bierce
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Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing
By Ambrose Bierce
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Painting The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man...who has no gills
By Ambrose Bierce
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Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Marriage: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
By Ambrose Bierce
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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
By Ambrose Bierce
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Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
By Ambrose Bierce
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