Doug Coupland Quotes

Your ability to rationalize your own bad deeds makes you believe that the whole world is as amoral as you are.

By Doug Coupland

You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself.

By Doug Coupland

Your body isn't just a body. It's an ecosystem.

By Doug Coupland

Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day, but unless they hook up to preexisting cells with strong memories, they die. Serves them right.

By Doug Coupland

You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog.

By Doug Coupland

You spend a much larger part of your life being old, not young.

By Doug Coupland

You can never become rich unless you like rich people.

By Doug Coupland

You can only fall in love six times in your life. Choose wisely.

By Doug Coupland

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

By Doug Coupland

You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life.

By Doug Coupland

Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.

By Doug Coupland

With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless.

By Doug Coupland

Where does personality end and brain damage begin?

By Doug Coupland

When you crop the photo, you tell a lie.

By Doug Coupland

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

By Doug Coupland

When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down?

By Doug Coupland

When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.

By Doug Coupland

What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?

By Doug Coupland

What exactly is it that humans do that is specifically human? There has to be something. How odd it is for billions of people to be alive, yet not one of them is really quite sure of what makes people people.

By Doug Coupland

We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.

By Doug Coupland

We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.

By Doug Coupland

We need to be around our families not because we have so many shared experiences to talk about, but instead because they know precisely which subjects to avoid.

By Doug Coupland

We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.

By Doug Coupland

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

By Doug Coupland

Unhappiness is something we are never taught about; we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.

By Doug Coupland

Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives.

By Doug Coupland

Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat.

By Doug Coupland

Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life.

By Doug Coupland

Thinking you're immortal is weirdly similar to being immortal.

By Doug Coupland

There's a lot to be said for having a small manageable dream.

By Doug Coupland