Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Groucho Marx quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Groucho Marx. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

By Groucho Marx

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows--marriage does.

By Groucho Marx

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies

By Groucho Marx

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

By Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

By Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read

By Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

By Groucho Marx

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women

By Groucho Marx

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

By Groucho Marx

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

By Groucho Marx

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.

By Groucho Marx

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

By Groucho Marx

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

By Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

By Groucho Marx

Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo.

By Groucho Marx

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

By Groucho Marx

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

By Groucho Marx

If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go.

By Groucho Marx

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

By Groucho Marx

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it

By Groucho Marx

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

By Groucho Marx

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

By Groucho Marx

I would horsewhip you if I had a horse

By Groucho Marx

I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member

By Groucho Marx

I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.

By Groucho Marx

I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.

By Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception

By Groucho Marx

I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

By Groucho Marx

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

By Groucho Marx

I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.

By Groucho Marx