Groucho Marx Quotes

Groucho Marx Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Groucho Marx quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Groucho Marx. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

By Groucho Marx

I had a lovely evening. Unfortunately, this wasn't it.

By Groucho Marx

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

By Groucho Marx

I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

By Groucho Marx

I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it.

By Groucho Marx

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

By Groucho Marx

Go, and never darken my towels again.

By Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

By Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it

By Groucho Marx

Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

By Groucho Marx

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

By Groucho Marx

Don't point that beard at me, it might go off.

By Groucho Marx

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed

By Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife

By Groucho Marx

Anyone can get old, all you have to do is live long enough

By Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

By Groucho Marx

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

By Groucho Marx

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

By Groucho Marx

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

By Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

By Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

By Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

By Groucho Marx

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

By Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

By Groucho Marx

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

By Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

By Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

By Groucho Marx