Henny Youngman Quotes

Henny Youngman Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Henny Youngman quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Henny Youngman. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
By Henny Youngman
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Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.
By Henny Youngman
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
By Henny Youngman
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
By Henny Youngman
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Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
By Henny Youngman
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
By Henny Youngman
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
By Henny Youngman
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
By Henny Youngman
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
By Henny Youngman
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Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!
By Henny Youngman
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Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
By Henny Youngman
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You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
By Henny Youngman
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
By Henny Youngman
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
By Henny Youngman
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You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
By Henny Youngman
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