Joan Rivers Quotes
Joan Rivers Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Joan Rivers quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Joan Rivers. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
Your anger can be 49 % and your comedy 51 %, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 %, the comedy is gone.
By Joan Rivers
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the hell off my property.
By Joan Rivers
Don�t talk to me about Valentine�s Day. At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
By Joan Rivers
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
By Joan Rivers
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly -- hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
By Joan Rivers
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
By Joan Rivers
A child of one can be taught not to do certain things such as touch a hot stove, turn on the gas, pull lamps off their tables by their cords, or wake mommy before noon
By Joan Rivers