Mark Twain Quotes | Quotesoup

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

By Mark Twain

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate when he can't afford it, and when he can. - from Following the Equator

By Mark Twain

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.

By Mark Twain

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice

By Mark Twain

There are times when one would like to end the whole human race, and finish the farce.

By Mark Twain

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.

By Mark Twain

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

By Mark Twain

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.

By Mark Twain

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

By Mark Twain

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

By Mark Twain

There are some books that refuse to be written. They stand their ground year after year and will not be persuaded. It isn't because the book is not there and worth being written -- it is only because the right form of the story does not present itself. There is only one right form for a story and if you fail to find that form the story will not tell itself.

By Mark Twain

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

By Mark Twain

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.

By Mark Twain

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.

By Mark Twain

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

By Mark Twain

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession, what there is of it.

By Mark Twain

The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.

By Mark Twain

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

By Mark Twain

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

By Mark Twain

The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't distributed right.

By Mark Twain

The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

By Mark Twain

The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

By Mark Twain

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

By Mark Twain

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

By Mark Twain

The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.

By Mark Twain

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.

By Mark Twain

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.

By Mark Twain

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right.

By Mark Twain

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.'

By Mark Twain

The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right

By Mark Twain