Mark Twain Quotes
Mark Twain Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Mark Twain quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Mark Twain. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
By Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
By Mark Twain
It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress.
By Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
By Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
By Mark Twain
In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.
By Mark Twain
In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.
By Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards
By Mark Twain
In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.
By Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
By Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.
By Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
By Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
By Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
By Mark Twain
If you take a dog which is starving and feed him and make him prosperous, that dog will not bite you. This is the primary difference between a dog and a man.
By Mark Twain
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging?
By Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
By Mark Twain
If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.
By Mark Twain