Mark Twain Quotes
Mark Twain Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Mark Twain quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Mark Twain. Share these quotations with your friends and family.
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
By Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. Intelligence
By Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
By Mark Twain
It takes an enemy and a friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart. The one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.
By Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. Humor
By Mark Twain
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage -- the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
By Mark Twain
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
By Mark Twain
The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously.
By Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift--our personal association, which means so much to them--we give grudgingly.
By Mark Twain
We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains--chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment--in a word, Circumstance--and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.
By Mark Twain
We ignore and never mention the Sole Impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval.... To it we owe all that we are.
By Mark Twain
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows--it must grow; nothing can prevent it.
By Mark Twain
Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
By Mark Twain
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
By Mark Twain
By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
By Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
By Mark Twain
The way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
By Mark Twain
Mark Twain, in an interview today, spoke about hazing at West Point, and denounced the practice as a brutal one and men who indulge in it as bullies and cowards. Why, he said, the fourth class man who is compelled to fight a man from the first class hasn't a show in the world, and it is not intended that he should. I have read the rules provided to prevent such practices, and they are wholly deficient, because one provision is omitted. I would make it the duty of a cadet to report to the authorities any case of hazing which came to his notice; make such reports a part of the vaunted West Point 'code of honor' and the beating of young boys by upper class men will be stopped. I am not opposed to fights among boys as a general thing. If they are conducted in a spirit of fairness, I think it makes boys manly, but I do oppose compelling a little fellow to fight some man big enough to whip two of him. When I was a boy, going to school down in the Mississippi Valley, we used to have our fights, and I remember one occasion on which I got soundly trounced, but we always matched boys as nearly of a size as possible, and there was none of the cowardly methods that seem to prevail at West Point.
By Mark Twain
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
By Mark Twain
A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
By Mark Twain