Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen Quotes. Below is a collection of famous Woody Allen quotes. Here you can find the most popular and greatest quotes by Woody Allen. Share these quotations with your friends and family.

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
By Woody Allen
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
By Woody Allen
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Should I marry W. Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
By Woody Allen
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it
By Woody Allen
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
By Woody Allen
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman
By Woody Allen
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Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
By Woody Allen
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Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
By Woody Allen
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
By Woody Allen
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
By Woody Allen
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
By Woody Allen
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday
By Woody Allen
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Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
By Woody Allen
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
By Woody Allen
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My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
By Woody Allen
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
By Woody Allen
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons
By Woody Allen
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
By Woody Allen
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More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly
By Woody Allen
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More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
By Woody Allen
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More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to utter hopelessness and despair, the other to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
By Woody Allen
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Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
By Woody Allen
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Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions
By Woody Allen
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Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
By Woody Allen
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
By Woody Allen
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
By Woody Allen
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It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
By Woody Allen
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It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
By Woody Allen
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
By Woody Allen
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
By Woody Allen
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