21 Jump Street Quotes
Captain Dickson: I know what you're thinkin': angry, black captain. Well guess what? I'm black, and I worked my ASS off to be the captain. And sometimes, I get a little angry, so suck a dick!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Captain Dickson: The mission is this: infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
Jenko: We get to be brothers?
Captain Dickson: [slams desk]Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
Jenko: But if we find the supplier first, we don't have to worry about the dealers.
Captain Dickson: God damn. [slams desk]
Captain Dickson: Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
Jenko: We get to be brothers?
Captain Dickson: [slams desk]Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
Jenko: But if we find the supplier first, we don't have to worry about the dealers.
Captain Dickson: God damn. [slams desk]
Captain Dickson: Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: [raiding the evidence locker for drugs to take to their party]Got a pound of coke.
Schmidt: We are trying to show them a good time, not ruin their fucking lives.
Jenko: Pound of marijuana?
Schmidt: Best party ever!
Jenko: Booyah!
Schmidt: We are trying to show them a good time, not ruin their fucking lives.
Jenko: Pound of marijuana?
Schmidt: Best party ever!
Jenko: Booyah!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Annie Schmidt: What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into a 8-year-old's mouth?
Jenko: It's arguably, like, an airplane throwing up.
Annie Schmidt: You think I don't that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober, when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun!
Jenko: It's arguably, like, an airplane throwing up.
Annie Schmidt: You think I don't that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober, when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Tom Hanson: [pointing gun at Schmidt and Jenko]Goddamn it! Tom Hanson, DEA! [pointing gun at Domingo]
Tom Hanson: On your knees! Now!
Officer Doug Penhall: Fuck! Doug Penhall, DEA! You're under arrest!
Domingo: What the...
Officer Doug Penhall: Put your guns on the ground!
Schmidt: Yes! Yes!
Tom Hanson: Shut the fuck up! You dweebs just ruined a five year investigation!
Schmidt: We had no idea, you're like, an amazing actor, man.
Domingo: You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man!
Tom Hanson: Tough titty, I fucked her too!
Domingo: What?
Tom Hanson: You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? You see this nose? This is a fake nose. You want to wear a fake nose on your fucking head? For, like, months on end!
Schmidt: There are worse things in the world.
Tom Hanson: We had to get fucking tattoos on our dicks, man!
Officer Doug Penhall: Actually, I just said that to mess with you.
Tom Hanson: What?
Officer Doug Penhall: It looks tough.
Jenko: Hey, man, look we know what its like being undercover. Metro Police, Jump Street division.
Tom Hanson: You're with the Jump Street? That's funny, because we were actually Jump Street.
Jenko: What? That's crazy, man!
Tom Hanson: Yeah!
Tom Hanson: On your knees! Now!
Officer Doug Penhall: Fuck! Doug Penhall, DEA! You're under arrest!
Domingo: What the...
Officer Doug Penhall: Put your guns on the ground!
Schmidt: Yes! Yes!
Tom Hanson: Shut the fuck up! You dweebs just ruined a five year investigation!
Schmidt: We had no idea, you're like, an amazing actor, man.
Domingo: You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man!
Tom Hanson: Tough titty, I fucked her too!
Domingo: What?
Tom Hanson: You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? You see this nose? This is a fake nose. You want to wear a fake nose on your fucking head? For, like, months on end!
Schmidt: There are worse things in the world.
Tom Hanson: We had to get fucking tattoos on our dicks, man!
Officer Doug Penhall: Actually, I just said that to mess with you.
Tom Hanson: What?
Officer Doug Penhall: It looks tough.
Jenko: Hey, man, look we know what its like being undercover. Metro Police, Jump Street division.
Tom Hanson: You're with the Jump Street? That's funny, because we were actually Jump Street.
Jenko: What? That's crazy, man!
Tom Hanson: Yeah!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: Hey, you want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: [Looks surprised]You want to beat my dick off?
Jenko: I'll beat your dick off with both hands, let's go!
Domingo: [Looks surprised]You want to beat my dick off?
Jenko: I'll beat your dick off with both hands, let's go!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Principal Dadier: I am one more black gay kid getting punched in the face away from a nervous breakdown.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Captain Dickson: You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherfuckers.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Schmidt: [referring to a wall in his parents' house displaying many photos of him as a youth]It looks like I died in a car crash and you never got over me.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: Are you ready for a lifetime of being absolutely badass motherfuckers?
Schmidt: Oh, I am. [Scene cuts. They are patroling the park on bicycles]
Jenko: I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions... and less homeless people doodooing everywhere.
Schmidt: Oh, I am. [Scene cuts. They are patroling the park on bicycles]
Jenko: I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions... and less homeless people doodooing everywhere.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: [is asked if he knows the Miranda Rights]Look, it obviously starts with... you have the right to remain silent...
Schmidt: [whispers]You have the right to an attorney.
Jenko: You have the right to remain... an attorney.
Deputy Chief Hardy: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.
Schmidt: [whispers]You have the right to an attorney.
Jenko: You have the right to remain... an attorney.
Deputy Chief Hardy: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Sanders: You punched me because I'm gay?
Jenko: What? No, I... oh, come on. I punched him and... he turned out to be gay afterwards.
Jenko: What? No, I... oh, come on. I punched him and... he turned out to be gay afterwards.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Eric Molson: Get in the fucking car now!
Jenko: Not until you ask nicely.
Eric Molson: Please get in the car.
Jenko: Not until you ask nicely.
Eric Molson: Please get in the car.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: The three keys of coolness in high school, by Jenko.
Schmidt: Mmhmm.
Jenko: One, don't try hard at anything. Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try. Three, be handsome. Four, if anyone steps you on the first day of school, you punch them directly in the face. Five, drive a kick-ass car. [walks up to car they'll be driving in, Jenko sees it's an old run down car]
Jenko: Shit.
Schmidt: Mmhmm.
Jenko: One, don't try hard at anything. Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try. Three, be handsome. Four, if anyone steps you on the first day of school, you punch them directly in the face. Five, drive a kick-ass car. [walks up to car they'll be driving in, Jenko sees it's an old run down car]
Jenko: Shit.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: Where do we report to?
Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump Street. 37 Jump Street... wait, that doesn't sound right.
Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump Street. 37 Jump Street... wait, that doesn't sound right.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Principal Dadier: Alright, which one of you is Doug? [neither Jenko or Schmidt reply]
Principal Dadier: Alright, let's try that again and pretend you guys aren't weird.
Principal Dadier: Alright, let's try that again and pretend you guys aren't weird.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Captain Dickson: Hey! stop fucking with Korean Jesus! He ain't got time for your problems! He's busy... with Korean shit!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
[having sex with Jenko in the end credits]Ms. Griggs: Oh my God! You're like two Hardy Boys in one!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jr. Jr.: We just shut down our second operation. Meanwhiles you two are fingerpoppin' each others assholes.
Schmidt: [mocking Jr. Jr]We ain't finguh-POPpin' each others ace-holes. We're getting shit done.
Schmidt: [mocking Jr. Jr]We ain't finguh-POPpin' each others ace-holes. We're getting shit done.
Movie: 21 Jump Street