21 Jump Street Quotes
Schmidt: We're like, in the end of Die Hard right now, only it's our actual life!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Schmidt: [after being forced to take HFS, Schmidt and Jenko try to imagine something nasty to make them throw up]Your grandma's vagina and there's a dick going in there.
Jenko: What the fuck, dude?
Jenko: What the fuck, dude?
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Jenko: [after seeing Schmidt for the first time since high school]Not-So-Slim Shady? What's up, dude?
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Captain Dickson: Are you comfortable?
Schmidt: Yes.
Captain Dickson: Get your... motherfucking ass up when I'm talking to you! I know what ya'll thinking. Angry black Captain. It ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype. Well let me tell you something, I'm black, and I worked my ass off to become Captain, and sometimes I get angry. So suck a dick!
Schmidt: Yes.
Captain Dickson: Get your... motherfucking ass up when I'm talking to you! I know what ya'll thinking. Angry black Captain. It ain't nothing but a stupid stereotype. Well let me tell you something, I'm black, and I worked my ass off to become Captain, and sometimes I get angry. So suck a dick!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Tom Hanson: You little dweebs just ruined a five-year investigation.
Schmidt: We had no idea. You're, like, an amazing actor, man.
Domingo: You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man.
Tom Hanson: Tough titty. I fucked her, too.
Domingo: What?
Tom Hanson: You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? Do you see this nose? That is a fake nose. Do you want to wear a fake nose on your fuckin' head for, like, months on end? Glue and shit?
Schmidt: Worse things in the world.
Tom Hanson: We had to get fuckin' tattoos on our dicks, man.
Officer Doug Penhall: Yeah, actually, I just said that to mess with you.
Schmidt: We had no idea. You're, like, an amazing actor, man.
Domingo: You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man.
Tom Hanson: Tough titty. I fucked her, too.
Domingo: What?
Tom Hanson: You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? Do you see this nose? That is a fake nose. Do you want to wear a fake nose on your fuckin' head for, like, months on end? Glue and shit?
Schmidt: Worse things in the world.
Tom Hanson: We had to get fuckin' tattoos on our dicks, man.
Officer Doug Penhall: Yeah, actually, I just said that to mess with you.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Captain Dickson: Clearly, I wasn't talking to you, big titties! You cherub-lookin' mother fucker!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Mr. Gordon: You'll never know what you can't achieve, until you don't achieve it.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Eric Molson: You made me this friendship bracelet.
Jenko: Well he's not really your friend, he was pretending the whole time.
Eric Molson: I'm gonna cut this the fuck off later alright!
Jenko: Well he's not really your friend, he was pretending the whole time.
Eric Molson: I'm gonna cut this the fuck off later alright!
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Eric Molson: You're a cop. You lied to me.
Schmidt: I'm sorry, man.
Eric Molson: But you bought us Taco Bell.
Schmidt: I'm sorry, man.
Eric Molson: But you bought us Taco Bell.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Tom Hanson: [in disguise, regarding Schmidt and Jenko]If they're cops, I'm DEA.
Movie: 21 Jump Street
Mr. Walters: You shot me in the dick. Oh, my god! It definitely came out my asshole.
Schmidt ,
Jenko: Yes. You are under arrest, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you? Fuck you, bitch!
Schmidt: Yes, yes, We did it, man.
Jenko: God, I feel so good.
Schmidt ,
Jenko: Yes. You are under arrest, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you? Fuck you, bitch!
Schmidt: Yes, yes, We did it, man.
Jenko: God, I feel so good.
Movie: 21 Jump Street