30 Rock Quotes
Floyd: If the whole world moved to their favorite vacation spots, then the whole world would live in Hawaii and Italy and Cleveland.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Colleen: [referring to Phoebe] All right, scout's honor, what do you think of her?
[Jack gives Liz a look]
Liz: She's very well-read... and she's very stylish, don't you think? And you know the most important thing is she makes Jack very happy. She's like a... white geisha.
[Jack gives Liz a look]
Liz: She's very well-read... and she's very stylish, don't you think? And you know the most important thing is she makes Jack very happy. She's like a... white geisha.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Colleen: Tell him his mother's here! ...And she loves him! ...But not in a queer way!
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
Liz: MILF Island?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.
Liz: MILF Island?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Liz: I'm telling you, this is my year. I feel like the show's going to be great and I'm very positive that I'm going to meet someone else.
Jack: Women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married.
Jack: Women your age are more likely to be mauled at the zoo than get married.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jerry Seinfeld: Still talking?
Liz: Oh. No, no no no. I haven't talked to him since... Whew... I dunno... August 9th, four seventeen PM...
Jerry Seinfeld: Mhmm. It's not over.
Liz: Oh no. It's over! I'm over it.
Jerry Seinfeld: No. It's not over until you pick up the phone. You say "I don't love you anymore," they say "I don't love you anymore either." You go "great, I'll pick you up in twenty. Let's grab a scone."
Liz: A scone! Yes! I want that! I'm gonna call him!
Liz: Oh. No, no no no. I haven't talked to him since... Whew... I dunno... August 9th, four seventeen PM...
Jerry Seinfeld: Mhmm. It's not over.
Liz: Oh no. It's over! I'm over it.
Jerry Seinfeld: No. It's not over until you pick up the phone. You say "I don't love you anymore," they say "I don't love you anymore either." You go "great, I'll pick you up in twenty. Let's grab a scone."
Liz: A scone! Yes! I want that! I'm gonna call him!
TV Show: 30 Rock
Liz: Hello, I'm sorry, may I speak to Floyd, please?... Oh, he's in the shower... I am conducting a survey for the Ranford Group, and, uh, how old are you? ...And your weight? ...And when was the last time you had intercourse? ...Who is this? Who is you? I is your worst nightmare, is who I is.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Tracy: Oh check this out! My key to the city of Gary, Indiana. Mmmm, look at this! My gold record from my novelty party song!
["Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" Music video]
Tracy: [singing, dressed up as a werewolf] Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky scary. Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.
["Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" Music video]
Tracy: [singing, dressed up as a werewolf] Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky scary. Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Kenneth: I like your top. I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.
Angie: Uh-huh. Well, I don't have a husband any more, so... you can come over anytime.
Kenneth: Oh, I will! I'll come over at night.
Angie: Uh-huh. Well, I don't have a husband any more, so... you can come over anytime.
Kenneth: Oh, I will! I'll come over at night.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7: 30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: Lemon, I'm impressed. You're beginning to think like a businessman.
Liz: A businesswoman.
Jack: I don't think that's a word.
Liz: A businesswoman.
Jack: I don't think that's a word.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: So what are you gonna do with your money? Put it into a 401(k)?
Liz: Yeah, I gotta get one of those.
Jack: What?! Where do you invest your money, Lemon?
Liz: I've got like twelve grand in checking.
Jack: Are you an immigrant?
Liz: Yeah, I gotta get one of those.
Jack: What?! Where do you invest your money, Lemon?
Liz: I've got like twelve grand in checking.
Jack: Are you an immigrant?
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: Look how Greenzo's testing! They love him in every demographic: colored people, broads, fairies, commies. Gosh, we gotta update these forms.
TV Show: 30 Rock
[Cerie is holding the refrigerator open]
Greenzo: Here's a tip, Cerie. Decide what you want before you open the refrigerator. You just released enough hydrofluorocarbons to kill a penguin. [pulls out a picture] This penguin!
Frank: You ever take off that costume?
Greenzo: You ever take off yours? Greenzo, out.
Cerie: Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?
Greenzo: Here's a tip, Cerie. Decide what you want before you open the refrigerator. You just released enough hydrofluorocarbons to kill a penguin. [pulls out a picture] This penguin!
Frank: You ever take off that costume?
Greenzo: You ever take off yours? Greenzo, out.
Cerie: Did he just talk to me like I'm ugly?
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: What are you doing in Harlem?
C.C.: Oh I'm working out of the Clinton offices for a few weeks. I'm helping Hillary retool her Universal Health care platform.
Jack: God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.
C.C.: Oh I'm working out of the Clinton offices for a few weeks. I'm helping Hillary retool her Universal Health care platform.
Jack: God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.
TV Show: 30 Rock
C.C.: I've been going crazy the last few days thinking about our night together. How you wanted to brush my hair as foreplay. How you made me that Western omelet at 4 AM. I've never met anyone like you, Jack.
Jack: Be with me, C.C. We'll ignore our differences 'til the sex goes bad then... we'll walk away bitter and angry.
C.C.: Nobody can know we're together. Not even your friend Tracy Jordan out there.
Jack: I don't think you have to worry about Tracy.
Tracy: Stop eating people's old French fries, pigeon; have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?
Jack: Be with me, C.C. We'll ignore our differences 'til the sex goes bad then... we'll walk away bitter and angry.
C.C.: Nobody can know we're together. Not even your friend Tracy Jordan out there.
Jack: I don't think you have to worry about Tracy.
Tracy: Stop eating people's old French fries, pigeon; have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?
TV Show: 30 Rock
Liz: I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
Jaime: I'm 20.
Liz: Oh boy. This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau.
Jaime: Are those friends of yours?
Jaime: I'm 20.
Liz: Oh boy. This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau.
Jaime: Are those friends of yours?
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: Lemon, what happened? Did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleep walk here?
TV Show: 30 Rock
Tracy: I do not want to disappoint our Japanese public, especially Godzilla. Hahaha! I'm just kidding; I know he doesn't care what humans do.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Tracy: And finally, I'd like to thank you, Pacific Rimmers, for all that you've given us: karaoke, karate, and most of all... WANIZAME ATAKKU! SHARK ATTACK!
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: That's what I'm talking about, empathy. It's about as useless as the Winter Olympics... this February on NBC.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: [about C.C.] She is my lover. That's right. She's my liberal, hippy-dippy mama; my groovy chick; my old lady. She was our chief adversary during the Sheinhardt Wig hearings. She wants to tax us all to death and make it legal for a man to marry his own dog. But I think what we have is special, and I'm proud of her. And I'm not going to hide it any longer. I'm Jack Donaghy, damn it! And this is my woman.
[Others begin confessing their secrets.]
Man #1: I gave to NPR last year.
Woman: My children go to public school.
Man #2: I'm gay.
Man #3: I'm black.
C.C.: Jack, thank you so much. And I just wanted you to know that in 1984 I voted for Ronald Reagan.
Man #1: I murdered my wife.
[Others begin confessing their secrets.]
Man #1: I gave to NPR last year.
Woman: My children go to public school.
Man #2: I'm gay.
Man #3: I'm black.
C.C.: Jack, thank you so much. And I just wanted you to know that in 1984 I voted for Ronald Reagan.
Man #1: I murdered my wife.
TV Show: 30 Rock
Tracy: [regarding his ankle bracelet alcohol monitoring device] Maybe I'll just compromise: go to the party, cut off my foot and drink all I want!
TV Show: 30 Rock
Kenneth: [about coffee] I love how it makes me feel. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!
TV Show: 30 Rock
German: The machine is mankind’s madness and disfigurement. Industry castrates art. The only honesty is in suicide.
Jack: I can't watch any more of these German sitcoms!
Jack: I can't watch any more of these German sitcoms!
TV Show: 30 Rock
Jack: The stutter got so bad I was taken out of my grade and put in the special class, held in the boiler room. My only other classmate was named Gilly. He'd fallen though the ice as a child and was technically dead for 57 minutes. They taught us to sweep sawdust so we could find work at a mill. Of course I overcame the stutter in three languages. On to Princeton, Harvard, the top of the business world. I thought I blocked this out, but a thing like this brings back emotions.
Liz: I'm so sorry.
Jack: I feel like I'm back in that boiler room, making little piles of sawdust while Gilly plays with himself in the corner...
Liz: I'm so sorry.
Jack: I feel like I'm back in that boiler room, making little piles of sawdust while Gilly plays with himself in the corner...
TV Show: 30 Rock