3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
Mary: Have a little compassion, Sally. We're healthy; we have to help him.
Sally: I say he's lame. Shoot him.
Sally: I say he's lame. Shoot him.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Tommy is selling chocolate door-to-door and he encounters a priest at one door]
Tommy: Hi, Father, I'm selling chocolate so the high-school band can go to Washington... and learn about Christianity...so they can become priests.
[The priest closes the door in Tommy's face]
Tommy: Fine then; they'll stay here in Rutherford and worship Satan!
Tommy: Hi, Father, I'm selling chocolate so the high-school band can go to Washington... and learn about Christianity...so they can become priests.
[The priest closes the door in Tommy's face]
Tommy: Fine then; they'll stay here in Rutherford and worship Satan!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Michael: You see, I would like to stay very much, but your government isn't so nice.
Sally: Except for Abraham Lincoln, right?
Sally: Except for Abraham Lincoln, right?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Sally: It's what women are supposed to do; get married, have babies, hire total strangers to raise them and then wonder where they went wrong.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Sally: You could never handle my job.
Harry: I could do it with my eyes closed!
Tommy: You do everything with your eyes closed.
Harry: I could do it with my eyes closed!
Tommy: You do everything with your eyes closed.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Tommy: [about August] I don't understand her.
Sally: What's to understand? Kill her and get a new one.
Harry: Oh, no, you can't do that. You've got to get a new one and then you kill her.
Sally: What's to understand? Kill her and get a new one.
Harry: Oh, no, you can't do that. You've got to get a new one and then you kill her.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Sally: The Official Boy Scouts' Guidebook. Who're the Boy Scouts?
Harry: They're an elite, prepubescent, paramilitary society and I'm going to follow their ways.
Sally: But Harry, you're neither elite nor prepubescent.
Harry: All in good time, Sally... all in good time.
Harry: They're an elite, prepubescent, paramilitary society and I'm going to follow their ways.
Sally: But Harry, you're neither elite nor prepubescent.
Harry: All in good time, Sally... all in good time.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Harry: [while playing Monopoly] Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 and do not, I repeat do not drop the soap.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: I'm tired of feeling like a Catholic schoolboy always getting his knuckles rapped by the nun he's dating.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Judith: Men, can't live with them, [Long Pause] good night Mary. [She leaves]
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: What's going on?
Nina: Oh, she's having a big affair.
Dick: What? You tramp!
Mary: Dick, it's a catered affair.
Dick: You're cheating on me and your diet?
Nina: Oh, she's having a big affair.
Dick: What? You tramp!
Mary: Dick, it's a catered affair.
Dick: You're cheating on me and your diet?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: I don't mean to panic anyone, but I'm afraid the calamari has been infested with baby squid.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Where would we be without the agitators of the world to attach the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mary: Does this mean you've come to your senses and you're going to apologize to Nina?
Dick: No, I will never come to my senses!
Dick: No, I will never come to my senses!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Harry, did I get any phone calls?
Harry: Oh, yes, it rang repeatedly.
Dick: And... who called?
Harry: Well, I don't know, Dick, I'm not clairvoyant.
Harry: Oh, yes, it rang repeatedly.
Dick: And... who called?
Harry: Well, I don't know, Dick, I'm not clairvoyant.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Tommy: Sally, they want you to appear on Good Afternoon, Rutherford.
Harry: That's my second-favorite show!
Dick: What's your first-favorite?
Harry: Good Morning, Rutherford.
Harry: That's my second-favorite show!
Dick: What's your first-favorite?
Harry: Good Morning, Rutherford.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Can we take more than one?
Nina: Take as much as you want! Nobody's going to be at this thing.
Mary: Don't be so insensitive.
Nina: [to Dick] Yeah, shame on you!
Nina: Take as much as you want! Nobody's going to be at this thing.
Mary: Don't be so insensitive.
Nina: [to Dick] Yeah, shame on you!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Sally: Don, what happens to people? Are they born mad or do one day their minds just snap?
Officer Don: If only we knew, Sally. One minute little Johnny Normal is on his paper route and the next there's a pile of dead bank guards and Johnny is using Grandma as a human shield.
Officer Don: If only we knew, Sally. One minute little Johnny Normal is on his paper route and the next there's a pile of dead bank guards and Johnny is using Grandma as a human shield.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Dick and Sally are doped out on antidepressants]
Sally: I like TV.
Dick: Me too. Let's say we turn it on. [he turns it on]
Sally: It's even better on.
Sally: I like TV.
Dick: Me too. Let's say we turn it on. [he turns it on]
Sally: It's even better on.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Oh, Mary! I've just had one of those horrible dreams!
Mary: Well what happened?
Dick: We were getting married!
Mary: [sarcastically] Thank you...
Dick: No, that was the good part. Then, my family showed up.
Mary: Oh, don't tell me? They objected?
Dick: Well...they had issues.
Mary: It's alright. I prepared a short speech just in case they did. It's just basically two words... and one of them's "off."
Mary: Well what happened?
Dick: We were getting married!
Mary: [sarcastically] Thank you...
Dick: No, that was the good part. Then, my family showed up.
Mary: Oh, don't tell me? They objected?
Dick: Well...they had issues.
Mary: It's alright. I prepared a short speech just in case they did. It's just basically two words... and one of them's "off."
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[in his classroom]
Dick: Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!
Dick: Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Harry: Look at the bright side, Dick: with Janet out of the way, maybe you'll get another shot at Albright.
Dick: You think?
Harry: Probably no. But hey, at least there's still the three of us.
Dick[slight pause]]: Wait, didn't there used to be four of us?
Harry: Oh, yeah! Officer Don called. "Tommy's in jail."
[Brief pause.]
Dick, Sally, Harry: JAIL? [They panic and run out of the apartment.]
Dick: You idiots!
Dick: You think?
Harry: Probably no. But hey, at least there's still the three of us.
Dick[slight pause]]: Wait, didn't there used to be four of us?
Harry: Oh, yeah! Officer Don called. "Tommy's in jail."
[Brief pause.]
Dick, Sally, Harry: JAIL? [They panic and run out of the apartment.]
Dick: You idiots!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Sally and Harry run into the police station.]
Sally: Don! Where's Tommy?
Officer Don: Oh, you're too late.
[Harry screams. Sally grabs Don by the throat.]
Sally: You killed Tommy?!
Officer Don: No, I let him go!
Sally: You let Tommy go to his death?
[Harry screams again. Tommy suddenly appears right behind him.]
Tommy: Hey, Harry.
[Harry turns around and shouts again at the sight of Tommy.]
Sally: Don! Where's Tommy?
Officer Don: Oh, you're too late.
[Harry screams. Sally grabs Don by the throat.]
Sally: You killed Tommy?!
Officer Don: No, I let him go!
Sally: You let Tommy go to his death?
[Harry screams again. Tommy suddenly appears right behind him.]
Tommy: Hey, Harry.
[Harry turns around and shouts again at the sight of Tommy.]
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Women.
Tommy: Women.
Officer Don: Women.
Harry: [high-pitched voice] Women!
Dick: You can't live with 'em and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.
Harry: That's probably true.
Tommy: Women.
Officer Don: Women.
Harry: [high-pitched voice] Women!
Dick: You can't live with 'em and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.
Harry: That's probably true.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Women always act so adult, but just like that they'll sink all the way down to your level.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: I want to make a good impression on Mary's parents.
Sally: Mary Albright‘s parents?
Tommy: They're still alive?:
Sally: My God, they must be so old!
Sally: Mary Albright‘s parents?
Tommy: They're still alive?:
Sally: My God, they must be so old!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween]
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
Harry: NO, I'M NOT! [realizing his costume] I mean, yes, I am.
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
Harry: NO, I'M NOT! [realizing his costume] I mean, yes, I am.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate]
Partygoer: Ahoy, matey. Where are your buccaneers?
Dick: Under my buckin' hat.
Partygoer: Ahoy, matey. Where are your buccaneers?
Dick: Under my buckin' hat.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Why should I be concerned about gaining weight? My body is just the vehicle that carries my brain around - and my brain deserves a smooth, luxurious ride.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun