3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
Mary: So you're going to let this woman control your life?
Dick: No, just the lunch part. [a beat] My favorite part.
Dick: No, just the lunch part. [a beat] My favorite part.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Harry: [to Nina] Don't worry, Nina. I won't let anyone else hurt you.
Dentist: Don't forget about your appointment on Friday, Nina.
Harry: Until Friday.
Dentist: Don't forget about your appointment on Friday, Nina.
Harry: Until Friday.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Harry left twenty dollars under Nina's pillow as payment from the Tooth Fairy for the four wisdom teeth she lost. Just as they're about to have sex, Nina finds the money.]
Nina: What's this?
Harry: Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.
Nina: You left me twenty bucks?
Harry: Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?
Nina: Going rate?!
Harry: Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.
Nina: What's this?
Harry: Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.
Nina: You left me twenty bucks?
Harry: Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?
Nina: Going rate?!
Harry: Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[the Solomons confront Tommy about his cooking skills]
Sally: I can't believe it! You can cook!
Harry: You
Tommy: No, no, I can't cook! I swear!
Dick: Well, then how do you explain this? (indicates oregano and rosemary on the table)
Tommy: This, uh...is marijuana!
Dick: This whole time we've been eating her slop, and you're a damn gourmet!!
Tommy: No, no, it's pot! I swear! I smoke it with my friends. I like to... toke up on the..fat daddies...uh...dude...
Sally: Ugh, I blame myself. How could I have missed all the signs? I mean, just last month I was doing laundry and I found a measuring spoon in his pants.
Dick: I was as blind as you, Sally. At the mall, he said he was going to the comic book store, but I saw him coming out of the Williams and Sonoma!
Harry: (picks up vial of white powder) Oh, Tommy! (opens, tastes what's inside) it's confectioner's sugar!
Dick: Confectioner's sugar? So you've been baking, too?! (hugs Sally) Look what your selfishness has done to Sally! Get out of my sight!
Tommy: (starts to leave)
Dick: Oh, but first, make me a spinach and fennel frittata.
Sally: (nods) Yeah, me too.
Sally: I can't believe it! You can cook!
Harry: You
Tommy: No, no, I can't cook! I swear!
Dick: Well, then how do you explain this? (indicates oregano and rosemary on the table)
Tommy: This, uh...is marijuana!
Dick: This whole time we've been eating her slop, and you're a damn gourmet!!
Tommy: No, no, it's pot! I swear! I smoke it with my friends. I like to... toke up on the..fat daddies...uh...dude...
Sally: Ugh, I blame myself. How could I have missed all the signs? I mean, just last month I was doing laundry and I found a measuring spoon in his pants.
Dick: I was as blind as you, Sally. At the mall, he said he was going to the comic book store, but I saw him coming out of the Williams and Sonoma!
Harry: (picks up vial of white powder) Oh, Tommy! (opens, tastes what's inside) it's confectioner's sugar!
Dick: Confectioner's sugar? So you've been baking, too?! (hugs Sally) Look what your selfishness has done to Sally! Get out of my sight!
Tommy: (starts to leave)
Dick: Oh, but first, make me a spinach and fennel frittata.
Sally: (nods) Yeah, me too.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[the Solomons have a repairman over]
Dick: Sally, you seein' Don today?
Sally: Seein' him? I'm losing my virginity to him!
Repairman: You know, I can come back.
Dick: Sally, you seein' Don today?
Sally: Seein' him? I'm losing my virginity to him!
Repairman: You know, I can come back.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Harry: I'll never forget the time I lost my virginity to ol'... what's-her-name over at... the place. Magic.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Harry: Dubcek's threatening to make me work it off and I don't think she's talking about mowing the lawn.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
"The Columbian": Oh, I got top dollar--I got better than top dollar.
Dick: Well then, by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?
Dick: Well then, by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Eric: I'm waiting to get into the K-9 unit.
Sally: Aw, what's the hold up?
Officer Don: Well, our- our dog ran away. But we're putting up fliers.
Sally: Aw, what's the hold up?
Officer Don: Well, our- our dog ran away. But we're putting up fliers.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Oh, I miss those days with Mary. Breakfast in bed, lunch in the bed. Changing the sheets... 'cause there's food in the bed.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Harry, are you naked or am I seeing things?
Harry: Actually it's a little of both.
Harry: Actually it's a little of both.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Harry: Ah, the mail! What would a day on Earth be like without the mail?
Tommy: Probably a lot like Sunday.
Tommy: Probably a lot like Sunday.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mary: What did your father tell you about the family?
Dick: Not a lot. He, uh... lost his mouth in the war.
Dick: Not a lot. He, uh... lost his mouth in the war.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mary: You wanted to see me, Dick?
Dick: Oh, Mary, thank God! I wanted to show you that if you mix up the letters in your last name, it spells "lab right!"
[pause]
Mary: Okay, but wh-what was the emergency that couldn't wait another second that made me... get off the phone with Chancellor?
Dick: Lab right!
Dick: Oh, Mary, thank God! I wanted to show you that if you mix up the letters in your last name, it spells "lab right!"
[pause]
Mary: Okay, but wh-what was the emergency that couldn't wait another second that made me... get off the phone with Chancellor?
Dick: Lab right!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[filling out tax forms]
Dick: Line 14, "other gains or losses."
Tommy: I gained two pounds.
Sally: I lost my virginity.
Dick: Line 14, "other gains or losses."
Tommy: I gained two pounds.
Sally: I lost my virginity.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Officer Don: Sally, I'm a cop. I've got keen instincts. And right now, my instincts are telling me that... I don't know what the hell is going on.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Tommy: It's like watching Entertainment Tonight in Carnegie-frickin'-Hall!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: [while gagged, mumbling on the telephone to Judith] Mmmph!
Judith: [sarcastically, alternating between Dick's mumblings] Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. I'm hot now. Do me. Do me all night. I know it's you, Dick. [hangs up]
Dick: Damn!
Judith: [sarcastically, alternating between Dick's mumblings] Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. I'm hot now. Do me. Do me all night. I know it's you, Dick. [hangs up]
Dick: Damn!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Officer Don: The F.B.I. are coming into town tomorrow.
Dick: What for?
Officer Don: That's classified.
Tommy: You have no idea, do you?
[pause]
Officer Don: That's also classified.
Dick: What for?
Officer Don: That's classified.
Tommy: You have no idea, do you?
[pause]
Officer Don: That's also classified.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Nina: You think you're the smartest man on the planet, don't you?
Dick: For the thousandth time, YES!
Dick: For the thousandth time, YES!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Vincent Strudwick: So... what'd you think of the book?
Dick: As bathroom fair? A triumph!
Dick: As bathroom fair? A triumph!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick: Families don't refer to each other by rank. They use more familiar terms like "you" or "bastard" or... "you bastard."
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Big Giant Head: The yelling will cease and the killing will commence!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[the aliens are looking for Vicki's hybrid alien baby in the nursery]
Tommy: Which one is it?
Dick: It must be him - it's hideous.
Man: Hey, that's my daughter!
Dick: I'm so sorry; she's hideous.
Tommy: Which one is it?
Dick: It must be him - it's hideous.
Man: Hey, that's my daughter!
Dick: I'm so sorry; she's hideous.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Mary: I am so hungover!
Dick: Oh! Well, Mary, that's just nature's way of telling you what a tramp you are.
Dick: Oh! Well, Mary, that's just nature's way of telling you what a tramp you are.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[the Solomons are angry at Dick because he crashed the car]
Dick: Hey, be thankful I wasn't killed!
Sally: Yeah, because then we'd have to hitch a ride to your funeral, BECAUSE YOU WRECKED OUR FREAKIN' CAR!
Dick: Hey, be thankful I wasn't killed!
Sally: Yeah, because then we'd have to hitch a ride to your funeral, BECAUSE YOU WRECKED OUR FREAKIN' CAR!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Officer Don You have to have insurance!
Dick: Why? It's just a bet against myself! The only way I can win my money back is by getting horribly injured.
Dick: Why? It's just a bet against myself! The only way I can win my money back is by getting horribly injured.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[Looking at himself and a picture of himself and Harrison Ford]
Dick: Oh my god! I'm hideous!
Dick: Oh my god! I'm hideous!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun