3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
[Repeated line]
Harry Solomon: Incoming message from the Big Giant Head!
Harry Solomon: Incoming message from the Big Giant Head!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[the Solomons are blasting "Entertainment Tonight" on their new TV]
Alissa Strudwick: How loud do you need to hear that it's Mary Steenburgen's birthday?
Alissa Strudwick: How loud do you need to hear that it's Mary Steenburgen's birthday?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
[to a policeman]
Sally Solomon: Well, Don, if I had a gun like that I wouldn't be sitting behind a desk till I ran out of bullets.
Sally Solomon: Well, Don, if I had a gun like that I wouldn't be sitting behind a desk till I ran out of bullets.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Big Giant Head: It was a horrible flight! There was a man on the wing of the plane!
Dick Solomon: The same thing happened to me!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
The Big Giant Head: The yelling will cease or the killing will commence!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Officer Don: Hamlet? The story is as old as time: Pretty boy son has a rich daddy, and a good-looking mommy. The uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy, and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story... but there it is.
Tommy Solomon: Isn't that the plot to 'The Lion King'?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Officer Don: Sally, I think you're only attracted to my uniform! Do you know what this means?
Sally Solomon: Yeah...
Officer Don: It means you'll never see me out of uniform again!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: [Dr. Albright is being pursued by another man] I have... a plan!
Tommy Solomon: Remember, Dick, you're not allowed to disintegrate Earthlings.
Dick Solomon: [pause] I have... *another* plan!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: [reading the Bible] Wow, these people begat their brains out!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: And I've done some shaving. Somewhere on my body you will discover a tufted heart.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Dr. Albright, have I been a perfect ass?
Mary Albright: Aw, nobody's perfect.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: I don't mean to panic anyone, but I'm afraid the calamari has been infested with baby squid.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: I find you pompous, judgmental, and completely self-absorbed. Would you be my friend?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: I want ceaseless joy and never-ending passion like Romeo and Juliet.
Mary Albright: They both wound up dead.
Dick Solomon: Antony and Cleopatra.
Mary Albright: Dead.
Dick Solomon: That couple from Wuthering Heights.
Mary Albright: Insane and dead.
Dick Solomon: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
Mary Albright: Drunk, insane, and dead.
Dick Solomon: Tristan and Isolde.
Mary Albright: Abgeschossen.
Dick Solomon: Aha, Siegfried and Roy.
Mary Albright: Okay, one.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: I'm not finger-pointing... [points at Mary]
Dick Solomon: but it's YOUR fault! YOU!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now *Senior* Security Officer.
Sally Solomon: That'll look good on the ol' résumé!
Dick Solomon: Tommy, you are now *Senior* Information Officer.
Tommy Solomon: It's about time!
Harry Solomon: What about me?
Dick Solomon: Harry, you are now... Harold.
Harry Solomon: Champagne for everyone!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Just act normal.
Mary Albright: I'd ask you to do the same, but I'm afraid that ship has sailed.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Lieutenant!
Sally Solomon: Yes, sir!
Dick Solomon: This planet has crossed the line. Assemble the giant robot.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Mary is too old for you.
Tommy Solomon: I'm older than you.
Dick Solomon: Well, then, you're too old for her. Either way, it won't work.
Tommy Solomon: I make her laugh, Dick. She likes it.
Dick Solomon: You shut your foul mouth!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Mary, there's something I have to tell you. I come from another world.
Mary Albright: And that's news?
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: My woman won't let me be a woman! Excuse me, I'm going to go draw a bath and then have a fat-free cookie.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Nina, take my car to the garage and rotate my tires.
Nina Campbell: That's not in my job description.
Dick Solomon: What is in your job description?
Nina Campbell: Typing.
Dick Solomon: Ok, well, type it into your job description and get my tires rotated.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Nina, who is this 'Tom' that Mary keeps talking about?
Nina Campbell: I don't know, and it's none of my business.
Dick Solomon: It's none of my business and I'm obsessed with it!
Nina Campbell: That's typical. Why is it that men think that when you plant the flag, you own the mountain.
Dick Solomon: I spent two years climbing that mountain, and I'm not about to let some guy yodel on it!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Oh, Mary! I've had one of those terrible dreams again! We were getting married!
Mary Albright: Oh.
Dick Solomon: No, that's the good part. Then, my family showed up.
Mary Albright: Oh, and they objected?
Dick Solomon: Well... They had issues.
Mary Albright: Don't worry. I wrote a speech in case that happens. Well, it's just two words. One of them's "off".
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: Our home for this mission was Earth, a third-rate planet. I got a third-rate car, a job at a third-rate university and now we were looking at a third-floor apartment.
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: So tell me, how far away is Cleveland?
Frank: An assault charge. The federal court house is there.
Dick Solomon: Right! Cleveland is a felonious assault away!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dick Solomon: This is just perfect. I try to mold us into a family that will blend in, and what do I get? A surly teenager, a sister obsessed with a man, and a brother who drinks too much. Is there another family in the whole world like this? I don't think so!
TV Show: 3rd Rock from the Sun