ALF Quotes
ALF: I don't want to be an orphan. I saw "Annie." Orphans have to eat gruel and tap dance with mops.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: I hate musicals. Out of the blue people burst into songs.
Willie: Hence the term "musical."
ALF: Yeah, but wouldn't it get on your nerves if all of a sudden I started singing : "Hey, Kate, ain't it great? Hey, Willie, you look silly. Hey -"
Willie: It's getting on my nerves.
ALF: So what musical are you going to go see today?
Willie: "Cats."
ALF: Take me, please! Then afterwards, we can go backstage and eat the actors!
TV Show: ALF
ALF: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it's run over by a car, you don't want it.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: I'm a cursed Melmacian, I belong to the room of the goshdarned.
Kate: Goshdarned?
ALF: Ours was a polite society.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: I'm on a new diet. I can eat as much of whatever I want.
Lynn: And you lose weight that way?
ALF: You do?
TV Show: ALF
ALF: It's the day before Christmas, I've hidden all the eggs.
Willie: ALF, we hide eggs at Easter, not at Christmas.
ALF: Oh, that's right. Christmas is where we carve the pumpkin.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: Justice will not rest.
Kate: What if I gave justice a cookie?
ALF: Justice will think about it.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: Like my old skeelball coach used to say: "Find something you're not good at, and then don't do it."
TV Show: ALF
ALF: Mind if I showed you a trick ?
Kate: The last time you showed me a trick, it took three weeks for my eyebrows to grow back.
ALF: I told you not to lean in.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: Oh, by the way, don't bother looking for your laxative on a rope.
Willie: Oh, you mean my soap on a rope?
ALF: Trust me on this one.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: Once we add sound, color and stick Eddie Murphy in there somewhere, it'll be a smash.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: Opens curtains "I decided to go outside and wait for the pizza, big mistake" Window falls on his head, then his fingers, then ALF falls out the window.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: Putting humans in charge of the earth, is the cosmic equivalence of letting Eddie Murphy direct.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: That's it. I say we fight violence with violence. That's how we used to solve things back home.
Willie: But ALF, don't you remember what happened to your planet?
ALF: Well, it blew up in a nuclear holocaust. Why?
Willie: Don't you see the connection?
ALF: [pause] What connection?
Willie: I give up.
ALF: Me too. I'm gonna lay down. My head is spinning. Maybe a cold cream sundae.
TV Show: ALF
ALF: Trust me, I'll have her running trough the streets screaming your name. If the cops don't pick her up, she'll be yours.
TV Show: ALF