American Beauty Quotes
Brad Dupree : ...so I'm sure you can understand the need to cut corners around here.
Lester Burnham : Sure. Times are tight, and you need to free up cash. Gotta spend money to make money.
Brad Dupree : Exactly.
Lester Burnham : Like when our editorial director used the company MasterCard to pay for a hooker, and then she used the card number to stay at the St. Regis for, what was it, three months?
Brad Dupree : That's unsubstantiated gossip.
Lester Burnham : That's fifty thousand dollars. That's somebody's salary. Somebody who's probably gonna get fired because Craig has to pay women to fuck him!
Brad Dupree : Jesus. Calm down. Nobody's getting fired yet. That's why we're having everyone write a job description, mapping out in detail how they contribute. That way, management can assess who's valuable and who's...
Lester Burnham : Expendable.
Brad Dupree : It's just business.
Lester Burnham : Sure. Times are tight, and you need to free up cash. Gotta spend money to make money.
Brad Dupree : Exactly.
Lester Burnham : Like when our editorial director used the company MasterCard to pay for a hooker, and then she used the card number to stay at the St. Regis for, what was it, three months?
Brad Dupree : That's unsubstantiated gossip.
Lester Burnham : That's fifty thousand dollars. That's somebody's salary. Somebody who's probably gonna get fired because Craig has to pay women to fuck him!
Brad Dupree : Jesus. Calm down. Nobody's getting fired yet. That's why we're having everyone write a job description, mapping out in detail how they contribute. That way, management can assess who's valuable and who's...
Lester Burnham : Expendable.
Brad Dupree : It's just business.
Movie: American Beauty
Buddy Kane : [ Carolyn is having sex in a motel room with the Real Estate King ] Do you like getting nailed by the King?
Carolyn Burnham : Yes, your majesty!
Carolyn Burnham : Yes, your majesty!
Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : That was exactly what I needed. The royal treatment, so to speak.
Movie: American Beauty
Mr. Smiley's Counter Girl : Whoa! You are so busted.
Carolyn Burnham : You know, this really doesn't concern you.
Lester Burnham : Well, actually, Janine is Senior Drive-thru Manager so you are on her turf.
Carolyn Burnham : You know, this really doesn't concern you.
Lester Burnham : Well, actually, Janine is Senior Drive-thru Manager so you are on her turf.
Movie: American Beauty
[ Lester eavesdrops on Jane and Angela through Jane's bedroom door ]
Jane Burnham : Sorry about my dad.
Angela Hayes : Don't be. I think it's funny.
Jane Burnham : Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. But to me, he's just... too embarrassing to live.
Angela Hayes : Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute.
Jane Burnham : Shut up.
Angela Hayes : He is. If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot.
Jane Burnham : Shut up!
Angela Hayes : Oh, come on. Like you've never sneaked a peek at him in his underwear? I bet he's got a big dick.
Jane Burnham : You are so grossing me out right now.
Angela Hayes : If he built up his chest and arms, I would totally fuck him.
Jane Burnham : [ covers her ears and sings 'la la la' over and over again ]
Angela Hayes : I would! I would suck your dad's big fat dick, and then I'd fuck him until his eyes rolled back in his head!
Jane Burnham : Sorry about my dad.
Angela Hayes : Don't be. I think it's funny.
Jane Burnham : Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. But to me, he's just... too embarrassing to live.
Angela Hayes : Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute.
Jane Burnham : Shut up.
Angela Hayes : He is. If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot.
Jane Burnham : Shut up!
Angela Hayes : Oh, come on. Like you've never sneaked a peek at him in his underwear? I bet he's got a big dick.
Jane Burnham : You are so grossing me out right now.
Angela Hayes : If he built up his chest and arms, I would totally fuck him.
Jane Burnham : [ covers her ears and sings 'la la la' over and over again ]
Angela Hayes : I would! I would suck your dad's big fat dick, and then I'd fuck him until his eyes rolled back in his head!
Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist. You two do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and I don't complain.
Carolyn Burnham : Oh, you don't complain? Then please, excuse me, I must be psychotic, then! If you don't complain, what is this? Yeah, let's bring in the laugh-meter and see how loud it gets.
Lester Burnham : [ Lester throws the asparagus plate at the wall ] Don't interrupt me, honey!
Lester Burnham : [ sits back down to eat ] Oh, yeah, and one more thing, from now on we're going to have alternate dinner music because frankly - and I don't think I'm alone here... [ looks in Jane's direction ]
Lester Burnham : I'm tired of this Lawrence Welk shit!
Carolyn Burnham : Oh, you don't complain? Then please, excuse me, I must be psychotic, then! If you don't complain, what is this? Yeah, let's bring in the laugh-meter and see how loud it gets.
Lester Burnham : [ Lester throws the asparagus plate at the wall ] Don't interrupt me, honey!
Lester Burnham : [ sits back down to eat ] Oh, yeah, and one more thing, from now on we're going to have alternate dinner music because frankly - and I don't think I'm alone here... [ looks in Jane's direction ]
Lester Burnham : I'm tired of this Lawrence Welk shit!
Movie: American Beauty
Sale House Woman #5 : I mean, I think 'lagune', I think 'waterfall', I think 'tropical'. This is a cement... hole.
Carolyn Burnham : Er... I have some tiki torches in the garage...
Carolyn Burnham : Er... I have some tiki torches in the garage...
Movie: American Beauty
Angela Hayes : Who are you looking for?
Jane Burnham : My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me.
Angela Hayes : Gross. I hate it when my mom does that.
Jane Burnham : My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me.
Angela Hayes : Gross. I hate it when my mom does that.
Movie: American Beauty
Ricky Fitts : Anything new in the world, Dad?
Colonel Frank Fitts : This country is going straight to hell!
Colonel Frank Fitts : This country is going straight to hell!
Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : This isn't life! This is just stuff! And it's become more important to you than living!
Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
Movie: American Beauty
Carolyn Burnham : Lester I refuse to live like this! This is not a marriage!
Lester Burnham : This hasn't been a marriage, for years, but you were happy as long as I kept my mouth shut. Well guess what, I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he feels horny, because you're obviously not gonna help me out in that department!
Lester Burnham : This hasn't been a marriage, for years, but you were happy as long as I kept my mouth shut. Well guess what, I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he feels horny, because you're obviously not gonna help me out in that department!
Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : Oh Carolyn, when did you become so... joyless?
Carolyn Burnham : Joyless? I'm not joyless. There happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man. There's plenty of joy in my life.
Carolyn Burnham : Joyless? I'm not joyless. There happens to be a lot about me that you don't know, Mr. Smarty Man. There's plenty of joy in my life.
Movie: American Beauty
Lester Burnham : Good. I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility.
Movie: American Beauty