Angel Quotes
Angel: Fred! Good to see you out and about.
Fred: It is isn't it. Out and about. I've been forkin' with Gunn.
Fred: It is isn't it. Out and about. I've been forkin' with Gunn.
TV Show: Angel
Gunn: Five herb shops in Chinatown; we've been to four. How come whatever we're searching for is always in the last place we look?
Wesley: I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick. Uh, um, sleuth, a gumshoe, Sherlock.
Gunn: All I know is you use the word dick again, and we're gonna have a problem. So what's the name of this place anyway?
Wesley: Van Hoa Dong.
Wesley: I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick. Uh, um, sleuth, a gumshoe, Sherlock.
Gunn: All I know is you use the word dick again, and we're gonna have a problem. So what's the name of this place anyway?
Wesley: Van Hoa Dong.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: I'm right as rain.
Fred: I never understood that saying-right as rain. How is rain right? Or wrong for that matter? Okay, I suppose if there's a flood it's wrong, and speaking of floods, or just being overwhelmed, what's it like to have a vision?
Cordelia: Wow. Y'know, next to you, I am downright linear.
Fred: I never understood that saying-right as rain. How is rain right? Or wrong for that matter? Okay, I suppose if there's a flood it's wrong, and speaking of floods, or just being overwhelmed, what's it like to have a vision?
Cordelia: Wow. Y'know, next to you, I am downright linear.
TV Show: Angel
Wesley: The Host reads people's auras to set them on their path, in some shape or form that connects them to the Powers that Be. I'm thinking...
Angel: Sure, he might be able to reverse the process. That he might be able to use Cordelia in order to 'trace the call' back to the Powers.
Lorne: WAY outside my area of expertise, I should caution. But hey, who knew William Shatner could sing? (He laughs, glances at a horribly disfigured Cordelia, and awkwardly stops) Okay. Bad example.
Angel: Sure, he might be able to reverse the process. That he might be able to use Cordelia in order to 'trace the call' back to the Powers.
Lorne: WAY outside my area of expertise, I should caution. But hey, who knew William Shatner could sing? (He laughs, glances at a horribly disfigured Cordelia, and awkwardly stops) Okay. Bad example.
TV Show: Angel
Lilah: There's a young man who's been unfairly imprisoned. And you're going to save him. Isn't that what you do? Save people? You'll need those items to succeed.
Angel: I see. I do this for you and you stop sending Cordy the killer visons.
Lilah: No, you'll do this because I tell you to.
Angel: I see. I do this for you and you stop sending Cordy the killer visons.
Lilah: No, you'll do this because I tell you to.
TV Show: Angel
Darla: You're a difficult man to find, señor. Do you know why I'm here? You are my last hope. I've been told you're very powerful, very wise. I've tried everything and I can't get rid of it. So, I ask you: What is this thing growing inside of me, and how is it possible?
Shaman: The Father is also a...?
Darla: Vampire? Yes. Though not a very good one.
Shaman: I will need some blood.
Darla: Well... I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
[The Shaman pauses]
Darla: Men are such babies.
[Darla cuts her hands.]
Shaman: This has never failed me.
[The Shaman places his hands on Darla's belly and has a major reaction.]
Shaman: I cannot help you. No man can. This is not meant to be known.
Darla: Yeah, yeah. Like I haven't heard that before. Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. Time to go visit Daddy.
Shaman: The Father is also a...?
Darla: Vampire? Yes. Though not a very good one.
Shaman: I will need some blood.
Darla: Well... I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
[The Shaman pauses]
Darla: Men are such babies.
[Darla cuts her hands.]
Shaman: This has never failed me.
[The Shaman places his hands on Darla's belly and has a major reaction.]
Shaman: I cannot help you. No man can. This is not meant to be known.
Darla: Yeah, yeah. Like I haven't heard that before. Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. Time to go visit Daddy.
TV Show: Angel
[Fred is onstage at a karaoke bar, singing "Crazy".]
Cordelia: I swear, she picked out the song herself.
Cordelia: I swear, she picked out the song herself.
TV Show: Angel
Wesley: [to Rondell] If you don't mind, I'd prefer a clean kill. The last time I was merely wounded. It took months to heal. Wounded, if I recall, in an attempt to help you.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: Look, this is really urgent. I know Lorne pays you to cast this spell. What will it take for you to lift it?
Transuding Sisters: (in sequence) This is not a debt you can pay.
Cordelia: (insulted) You don't know that. My credit has been very good this last year.
Transuding Sisters: (in sequence) Only Angel is equipped to make good on this debt.
Cordelia: Angel. (makes raspberry noise) I don't know. You know, for a guy who's a couple of centuries old, not very big with the wise investing. (pause, then understanding) And when you say "equipped", that isn't what you mean, is it?
Transuding Sisters: (together) Mmmm...Angel.
Cordelia: Got it. And eww.
Transuding Sisters: (in sequence) This is not a debt you can pay.
Cordelia: (insulted) You don't know that. My credit has been very good this last year.
Transuding Sisters: (in sequence) Only Angel is equipped to make good on this debt.
Cordelia: Angel. (makes raspberry noise) I don't know. You know, for a guy who's a couple of centuries old, not very big with the wise investing. (pause, then understanding) And when you say "equipped", that isn't what you mean, is it?
Transuding Sisters: (together) Mmmm...Angel.
Cordelia: Got it. And eww.
TV Show: Angel
Gunn: No matter what else, I think I proved that you can trust me when I could have killed you and I didn't.
Angel: No. You'll prove that I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me — and you do.
Angel: No. You'll prove that I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me — and you do.
TV Show: Angel
Fred: (looking at Cordelia's fashion magazine) Why do girls want to look like that? I spent years in a cave starving, what's their excuse?
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: (on Fred) She's got the big puppy love. I mean, who wouldn't? You're handsome and brave and heroic, emotionally stunted, erratic, prone to turning evil, and let's face it, a eunuch.
Angel: Hey! How can you...I'm not a eunuch.
Cordelia: Angel, it's just a figure of speech.
Angel: Find another one.
Cordelia: I just mean that sex is a no-no for you because of the whole "if you know perfect bliss you'll turn evil curse." Really no cure for that, is there?
Angel: Hey! How can you...I'm not a eunuch.
Cordelia: Angel, it's just a figure of speech.
Angel: Find another one.
Cordelia: I just mean that sex is a no-no for you because of the whole "if you know perfect bliss you'll turn evil curse." Really no cure for that, is there?
TV Show: Angel
Wesley: (about Angel making out with someone on his desk) This isn't like him.
Cordelia: What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde?
Fred: Brunette. She was a cheap brunette.
Cordelia: You're right. This isn't like him.
Cordelia: What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde?
Fred: Brunette. She was a cheap brunette.
Cordelia: You're right. This isn't like him.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: Lemme break it down for you, Fred.
Cordy [as Buffy]: Oh, Angel, I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but—
Wesley [as Angel]: But... my gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...
Cordy [as Buffy]: Yes, Angel?
Wesley [as Angel]: I love you so much, I almost forgot to brood.
Cordy [as Buffy]: And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley [as Angel]: Or possibly more?
Cordy [as Buffy]: Gasp! No! We mustn't!
Wesley [as Angel]: Kiss me!
Cordy [as Buffy]: Bite me!
Angel: [entering] How 'bout you both bite me?
Fred: You're back!
Gunn: How'd it go?
Angel: I think those two pretty much summed it up.
Cordy [as Buffy]: Oh, Angel, I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but—
Wesley [as Angel]: But... my gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...
Cordy [as Buffy]: Yes, Angel?
Wesley [as Angel]: I love you so much, I almost forgot to brood.
Cordy [as Buffy]: And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley [as Angel]: Or possibly more?
Cordy [as Buffy]: Gasp! No! We mustn't!
Wesley [as Angel]: Kiss me!
Cordy [as Buffy]: Bite me!
Angel: [entering] How 'bout you both bite me?
Fred: You're back!
Gunn: How'd it go?
Angel: I think those two pretty much summed it up.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: (on Fred's invention) God, I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys laying around.
Gunn: Ooh, pretty wicked looking toy.
Wesley: I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.
Cordelia: Or it makes toast. With her you never know.
Gunn: Ooh, pretty wicked looking toy.
Wesley: I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.
Cordelia: Or it makes toast. With her you never know.
TV Show: Angel
Mr. Burkle: And to think, we were wondering when to call the police on a bunch of superheroes.
Angel: Oh, I'm not really a hero.
Gunn: More like a blood-sucking fiend.
Mr. Burkle: Well frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cow's blood, or those froofy little imported beers. You saved my little girl.
Angel: Well, I wouldn't have had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club.
Mr. Burkle: Well, I'll tell you. I haven't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63 - -
Angel and Mr. Burkle: Bob Hope Desert Classic (laugh together like old friends)
Angel: Oh, I'm not really a hero.
Gunn: More like a blood-sucking fiend.
Mr. Burkle: Well frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cow's blood, or those froofy little imported beers. You saved my little girl.
Angel: Well, I wouldn't have had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club.
Mr. Burkle: Well, I'll tell you. I haven't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63 - -
Angel and Mr. Burkle: Bob Hope Desert Classic (laugh together like old friends)
TV Show: Angel
Lilah: Cordelia Chase, right? You came here to gloat?
Cordelia: I can do that anywhere. Are you going to invite me in? Oh, wait. I'm not a vampire. (walks in)
Lilah: (sarcastically) Please, come on in.
Cordelia: I want you to tell me about Billy. Everything you didn't tell Angel. I want you to help me stop him.
Lilah: And what makes you think I'm going to do that?
Cordelia: Well, your face, for starters.
Lilah: I know the risks of my job, and I accept them.
Cordelia: Then why were you crying five minutes ago. (Lilah looks surprised) There's not a thing about badly re-applied mascara that I don't know.
Lilah: I am not Lindsay McDonald. I don't switch sides whenever it gets tough. And since when is this your job? I thought Angel was the Dark Revenger.
Cordelia: Angel feels responsible for this guy because he brought him back from hell. I feel responsible because he did it to save me. You, who are actually responsible for the entire thing, feel nothing at all, because you are a vicious bitch.
Lilah: So you know me.
Cordelia: Please, I was you. With better shoes.
Lilah: These are Versace.
Cordelia: Fall collection?
Lilah: Next spring.
Cordelia: He's widened the heel.
Lilah: And rounded the toe.
Cordelia: That won't work with pink.
Lilah: The pink is out this spring.
Cordelia: Billy makes people crazy.
Lilah: Not all people. Just men. He brings out a primal misogyny in them. Turns them into killers.
Cordelia: Then why didn't he do it to Angel?
Lilah: Angel's seen him?
Cordelia: Yes, right before he escaped from the cops. (Lilah laughs) What's so witty?
Lilah: Billy's touch work's di
Cordelia: I can do that anywhere. Are you going to invite me in? Oh, wait. I'm not a vampire. (walks in)
Lilah: (sarcastically) Please, come on in.
Cordelia: I want you to tell me about Billy. Everything you didn't tell Angel. I want you to help me stop him.
Lilah: And what makes you think I'm going to do that?
Cordelia: Well, your face, for starters.
Lilah: I know the risks of my job, and I accept them.
Cordelia: Then why were you crying five minutes ago. (Lilah looks surprised) There's not a thing about badly re-applied mascara that I don't know.
Lilah: I am not Lindsay McDonald. I don't switch sides whenever it gets tough. And since when is this your job? I thought Angel was the Dark Revenger.
Cordelia: Angel feels responsible for this guy because he brought him back from hell. I feel responsible because he did it to save me. You, who are actually responsible for the entire thing, feel nothing at all, because you are a vicious bitch.
Lilah: So you know me.
Cordelia: Please, I was you. With better shoes.
Lilah: These are Versace.
Cordelia: Fall collection?
Lilah: Next spring.
Cordelia: He's widened the heel.
Lilah: And rounded the toe.
Cordelia: That won't work with pink.
Lilah: The pink is out this spring.
Cordelia: Billy makes people crazy.
Lilah: Not all people. Just men. He brings out a primal misogyny in them. Turns them into killers.
Cordelia: Then why didn't he do it to Angel?
Lilah: Angel's seen him?
Cordelia: Yes, right before he escaped from the cops. (Lilah laughs) What's so witty?
Lilah: Billy's touch work's di
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: (to Billy) Actually, I'm feeling superior because I have an arrow aimed at your jugular. And the irony of using a phallic shaped weapon? Not lost on me.
TV Show: Angel
Cordy: Hey, what are friends for?
Darla: If you ask me, they're for knocking you up and leaving you high and dry.
[Angel spins around to see a very pregnant Darla standing on the top landing leading down into the lobby from outside.]
Darla: Hello, lover. Long time no see.
Darla: If you ask me, they're for knocking you up and leaving you high and dry.
[Angel spins around to see a very pregnant Darla standing on the top landing leading down into the lobby from outside.]
Darla: Hello, lover. Long time no see.
TV Show: Angel
Angel: This is impossible.
Darla: Tell me about it, daddy!
Cordy: You slept with her?
Angel: Vampires can't have children. Wesley?
Wes: Ah, no, he's right. It's not possible.
Cordy: That's not what I asked.
Darla: You know we can't. I know we can't. But we did.
Fred: I wonder if this might not be that bad thing we were expecting.
Darla: What did you do to me?
[She hits Angel across the face and he stumbles back against the weapons cabinet behind him.]
Darla: Tell me about it, daddy!
Cordy: You slept with her?
Angel: Vampires can't have children. Wesley?
Wes: Ah, no, he's right. It's not possible.
Cordy: That's not what I asked.
Darla: You know we can't. I know we can't. But we did.
Fred: I wonder if this might not be that bad thing we were expecting.
Darla: What did you do to me?
[She hits Angel across the face and he stumbles back against the weapons cabinet behind him.]
TV Show: Angel
Angel: Cordy that's Darla. Maybe you don't want to...
Cordy: Did you or did you not look me in the eye and say that you would *never* do a thing like this with her?
Darla: Oh, he lied? What a surprise.
[Fred carrying a glass of water]
Fred: Hi. I'm Fred. Is water okay, or did you want some blood?
[Darla takes the water as Wes gently pulls Fred back away from Darla.]
Angel: Cordy. I'm sorry I lied. It was just...it was a very dark time.
Cordy: Oh! You used her to make you feel better during your dark time. Well, that makes it all heroic.
Angel: It wasn't like that. It just happened. It wasn't like I went evil or anything, I just...
Cordy: You just went male. [She brushes the hair out of Darla's face.] Have you been to a doctor?
[Darla gives her a look]
Darla: No. But I have been to every shaman and seer in the Western Hemisphere.
Wes: And what did they say?
Darla: They don't know what it is. They don't know what it means. Nothing like this has ever happened.
Angel: Maybe it's an hysterical pregnancy.
Darla: You wanna feel it kick?
Cordy: Does it kick a lot?
Darla: Like crazy.
Cordy: Did you or did you not look me in the eye and say that you would *never* do a thing like this with her?
Darla: Oh, he lied? What a surprise.
[Fred carrying a glass of water]
Fred: Hi. I'm Fred. Is water okay, or did you want some blood?
[Darla takes the water as Wes gently pulls Fred back away from Darla.]
Angel: Cordy. I'm sorry I lied. It was just...it was a very dark time.
Cordy: Oh! You used her to make you feel better during your dark time. Well, that makes it all heroic.
Angel: It wasn't like that. It just happened. It wasn't like I went evil or anything, I just...
Cordy: You just went male. [She brushes the hair out of Darla's face.] Have you been to a doctor?
[Darla gives her a look]
Darla: No. But I have been to every shaman and seer in the Western Hemisphere.
Wes: And what did they say?
Darla: They don't know what it is. They don't know what it means. Nothing like this has ever happened.
Angel: Maybe it's an hysterical pregnancy.
Darla: You wanna feel it kick?
Cordy: Does it kick a lot?
Darla: Like crazy.
TV Show: Angel
Fred: Who's Darla?
Gunn: Angel's old flame, from way back.
Fred: Not the one who died?
Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Fred: Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?
Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.
Gunn: Angel's old flame, from way back.
Fred: Not the one who died?
Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Fred: Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?
Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.
TV Show: Angel
Angel: [talking about Darla] Where is she?
Wesley: She got away.
Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces.
Wesley: She got away.
Gunn: We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces.
TV Show: Angel
[Angel stares at Cordelia, working up the nerve to confess his feelings for her.]
Cordelia: Why are you looking at me like that?
Angel: Uh . . . no reason.
Cordelia: Okay. It's getting creepy now.
Angel: I was just thinking about things. People. You know, how they relate. Take you and me, for instance. We're very different. Very different. Obviously. [points at Cordy] Human, [points at self] vampire. [points at Cordy] Woman, [points at self] man... pire.
Cordelia: Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?
Angel: [chuckles] See? You're funny! And I, well I get off a good one every once in a while, but you…
Cordelia: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?
Angel: W-What?
Cordelia: I love you too.
Angel: You do? When did this…
Cordelia: [calling into Wesley's office] Angel loves me! I love him!
Angel: Oh, my God!
Cordelia: You guys love us and we love you!
Wesley, Fred, Gunn: [offscreen, in chorus] We love you, Angel!
Cordelia: They were all saying it earlier. Just in case this prophecy comes true and we all die. You're not gonna want a hug, are you?
Angel: [chastened] No.
Cordelia: Why are you looking at me like that?
Angel: Uh . . . no reason.
Cordelia: Okay. It's getting creepy now.
Angel: I was just thinking about things. People. You know, how they relate. Take you and me, for instance. We're very different. Very different. Obviously. [points at Cordy] Human, [points at self] vampire. [points at Cordy] Woman, [points at self] man... pire.
Cordelia: Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?
Angel: [chuckles] See? You're funny! And I, well I get off a good one every once in a while, but you…
Cordelia: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?
Angel: W-What?
Cordelia: I love you too.
Angel: You do? When did this…
Cordelia: [calling into Wesley's office] Angel loves me! I love him!
Angel: Oh, my God!
Cordelia: You guys love us and we love you!
Wesley, Fred, Gunn: [offscreen, in chorus] We love you, Angel!
Cordelia: They were all saying it earlier. Just in case this prophecy comes true and we all die. You're not gonna want a hug, are you?
Angel: [chastened] No.
TV Show: Angel
[Darla pulls the stake out of her right palm and lets it drop as she walks towards Angel.]
Darla: You *so* want to play the good guy, don't you? Yeah. You're the good guy who did *this* to me.
[Hauls back and knocks Angel across the face, slamming him against one of the games.]
Darla: You may have the face, but you don't know the hunger! It pounds! You can't make it go away! You can't stop it!
Angel: I'll stop it!
[He hauls back and hits Darla. The two of them fight. In the end Angel manages to grab Darla by the throat and push her up against the wall.]
Darla: How could you put this in me? I hate you!
[Darla hits him again, but Angel refuses to let go of her throat.]
Darla: They breathe. They breathe and pound. I don't breathe, you idiot! You can't strangle me!
[Darla laughs.]
Angel: I'm not gonna strangle you.
[Angel pulls her away and slams her back up against the wall, pulling out another stake.]
Darla: Come on! Do it! (Angel hesitates) Do it!
[Angel slowly lowers the stake and looks down at Darla's belly. We hear a heartbeat. Angel slowly steps back from Darla. Darla lunges, grabs a hold of Angel's jacket and shakes him.]
Darla: Do it! Do it! Make it stop!
[Angel gently restrains her, wrapping her tightly in his arms and pulling her up against his chest.]
Angel: No it won't, Darla. Darla, listen to me.
Darla: Make it stop! Make it stop.
Angel: The child. The child has a heartbeat. It has a soul.
[Darla flailing wildly]
Darla: No! Not my child! No!
Angel: Our child. Our child. Our child. That's why you've been craving purer and purer blood. That's why it's been driving you out of your mind. It has a soul.
[Darla colla
Darla: You *so* want to play the good guy, don't you? Yeah. You're the good guy who did *this* to me.
[Hauls back and knocks Angel across the face, slamming him against one of the games.]
Darla: You may have the face, but you don't know the hunger! It pounds! You can't make it go away! You can't stop it!
Angel: I'll stop it!
[He hauls back and hits Darla. The two of them fight. In the end Angel manages to grab Darla by the throat and push her up against the wall.]
Darla: How could you put this in me? I hate you!
[Darla hits him again, but Angel refuses to let go of her throat.]
Darla: They breathe. They breathe and pound. I don't breathe, you idiot! You can't strangle me!
[Darla laughs.]
Angel: I'm not gonna strangle you.
[Angel pulls her away and slams her back up against the wall, pulling out another stake.]
Darla: Come on! Do it! (Angel hesitates) Do it!
[Angel slowly lowers the stake and looks down at Darla's belly. We hear a heartbeat. Angel slowly steps back from Darla. Darla lunges, grabs a hold of Angel's jacket and shakes him.]
Darla: Do it! Do it! Make it stop!
[Angel gently restrains her, wrapping her tightly in his arms and pulling her up against his chest.]
Angel: No it won't, Darla. Darla, listen to me.
Darla: Make it stop! Make it stop.
Angel: The child. The child has a heartbeat. It has a soul.
[Darla flailing wildly]
Darla: No! Not my child! No!
Angel: Our child. Our child. Our child. That's why you've been craving purer and purer blood. That's why it's been driving you out of your mind. It has a soul.
[Darla colla
TV Show: Angel
Sahjhan: Have you followed this part of the history? American Revolution, manifest destiny, westward expansion, the Beach Boys?
TV Show: Angel
[voicemail message]
Woman's voice: Hi, you've reached the Tittles. We can't come to the phone right now. If you wanna leave a message for Christine, press one.
Man's voice: For Bentley, press two.
Demon's voice: Or to speak to or worship Master Tarfall, Underlord of pain, press three.
Woman's voice: Hi, you've reached the Tittles. We can't come to the phone right now. If you wanna leave a message for Christine, press one.
Man's voice: For Bentley, press two.
Demon's voice: Or to speak to or worship Master Tarfall, Underlord of pain, press three.
TV Show: Angel
Sahjhan: I'm not a man. - What I mean is...
Holtz: You're not human.
Sahjhan: But clearly masculine. You get that, right?
Holtz: You're not human.
Sahjhan: But clearly masculine. You get that, right?
TV Show: Angel
[Darla starts groaning in pain after Cordelia punches her.]
Cordelia: Oh, come on, tough girl. You're a vampire. A punch in the nose shouldn't hurt that much.
Fred: Not aaow her nose. She's having contractions!
[Darla screams]
Cordelia: Oh, come on, tough girl. You're a vampire. A punch in the nose shouldn't hurt that much.
Fred: Not aaow her nose. She's having contractions!
[Darla screams]
TV Show: Angel