Angel Quotes
Angel: I know you guys have been working hard. I mean, you've been cooped up inside a lot. And to show my appreciation, I was thinking, the night being... you know... young and all, that the three of us could, well... should... you know... maybe, go out... ... you know... ... ... for fun.
Cordelia: Or we can go home.
Doyle: And you can sit in the dark alone.
Angel: God yes. Thank you.
Cordelia: Or we can go home.
Doyle: And you can sit in the dark alone.
Angel: God yes. Thank you.
TV Show: Angel
[Angel has just saved Rachel from a violently abusive boyfriend, while Spike watches — and narrates — from the rooftop.]
Spike[as Rachel, falsetto]: How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad, hunk of a night thing?
Spike[as Angel, basso]: No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. [Rachel sways closer to Angel; he steps back, warding her off with his hands.] No, not the hair! Never the hair!
Spike[as Rachel]: But there must be some way I can show my appreciation.
Spike[as Angel]: No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!
Spike[as Rachel]: I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...
Spike[as Angel]: Ah. Say no more. Evil's still afoot ... and I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly! To the Angelmobile — AWAY! [Rachel and Angel leave. Spike lights a cigarette.]
Spike[as Spike]: Go on, Liam. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way—the Ring of Amarra, a visit from your old pal Spike, and—oh, yeah—your gruesome, horrible death.
Spike[as Rachel, falsetto]: How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad, hunk of a night thing?
Spike[as Angel, basso]: No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. [Rachel sways closer to Angel; he steps back, warding her off with his hands.] No, not the hair! Never the hair!
Spike[as Rachel]: But there must be some way I can show my appreciation.
Spike[as Angel]: No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!
Spike[as Rachel]: I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...
Spike[as Angel]: Ah. Say no more. Evil's still afoot ... and I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly! To the Angelmobile — AWAY! [Rachel and Angel leave. Spike lights a cigarette.]
Spike[as Spike]: Go on, Liam. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way—the Ring of Amarra, a visit from your old pal Spike, and—oh, yeah—your gruesome, horrible death.
TV Show: Angel
Angel: You might as well go home, Spike. The Gem of Amarra stays with me.
Spike: Why? Because you're 'Angel, Vamp Detective' now? I'm so scared. What's next? Vampire Cowboy? Vampire Fireman? Oh, Vampire Ballerina!
Angel: I do like to work with my legs.
Spike: Why? Because you're 'Angel, Vamp Detective' now? I'm so scared. What's next? Vampire Cowboy? Vampire Fireman? Oh, Vampire Ballerina!
Angel: I do like to work with my legs.
TV Show: Angel
Doyle: I'm still going to go celebrate with a drink down in the pub.
Cordelia: He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down in the pub.
Cordelia: He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down in the pub.
TV Show: Angel
[Doyle is suffering from a severe hangover.]
Doyle: Oh, God... You know what would feel really good right now? One of those mind-numbing, head-cracking visions that I get from time to time... because that would really kill me. What, is there some trick to this?
Cordelia: [takes the aspirin bottle away from Doyle and dispenses three tablets] I think the 'trick' is laying off the ale before you start quoting Angela's Ashes and weeping like a baby-man.
Doyle: Hey, that's a good book.
Cordelia: So I've heard. But I doubt very much that the main characters are Betty and Barney Rubble, as you so vehemently insisted last night. Also? I don't think Oz appreciated being called "my little Bamm-Bamm" all night.
Doyle: Oh, God... You know what would feel really good right now? One of those mind-numbing, head-cracking visions that I get from time to time... because that would really kill me. What, is there some trick to this?
Cordelia: [takes the aspirin bottle away from Doyle and dispenses three tablets] I think the 'trick' is laying off the ale before you start quoting Angela's Ashes and weeping like a baby-man.
Doyle: Hey, that's a good book.
Cordelia: So I've heard. But I doubt very much that the main characters are Betty and Barney Rubble, as you so vehemently insisted last night. Also? I don't think Oz appreciated being called "my little Bamm-Bamm" all night.
TV Show: Angel
Spike: It's called Addiction, Angel. We all have them. I believe yours is called Slutty the Vampire Slayer.
TV Show: Angel
Angel: Am I intimidating? I mean, do I put people off?
Cordelia: Well, as vampires go, you're pretty cuddly. Maybe you might want to think about mixing up the black-on-black a little, though.
Cordelia: Well, as vampires go, you're pretty cuddly. Maybe you might want to think about mixing up the black-on-black a little, though.
TV Show: Angel
Kate: Wolfram & Hart. They're the law firm that Johnnie Cochran is too ethical to join.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: I know Angel's been working day and night to help people fight their personal demons, but I need a raise.
Doyle: A raise? You've been working for him for, what, like, twenty minutes?
Cordelia: A month. And I have needs.
Doyle: Needs.
Cordelia: A person, needs certain... designer... things.
Doyle: A raise? You've been working for him for, what, like, twenty minutes?
Cordelia: A month. And I have needs.
Doyle: Needs.
Cordelia: A person, needs certain... designer... things.
TV Show: Angel
[Cordelia and Doyle are waiting to ask Angel (again) to charge for their cases.]
Cordelia: We have to stand up to him.
Doyle: Yeah, we're standing up. [They stand up.]
Cordelia: We'll just wait until he has his coffee. [Angel enters.]
Angel: Good morning.
Cordelia: Morning.
Doyle: Morning. [Angel pours himself a cup of coffee, sips, and makes a disgusted face.]
Angel: Ehhh. What is this?
Cordelia: Last week's coffee. Think of it as espresso.
Angel: [supresses gag] I think my esophagus is melting.
Cordelia: We have to stand up to him.
Doyle: Yeah, we're standing up. [They stand up.]
Cordelia: We'll just wait until he has his coffee. [Angel enters.]
Angel: Good morning.
Cordelia: Morning.
Doyle: Morning. [Angel pours himself a cup of coffee, sips, and makes a disgusted face.]
Angel: Ehhh. What is this?
Cordelia: Last week's coffee. Think of it as espresso.
Angel: [supresses gag] I think my esophagus is melting.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: [to Doyle] You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard.
TV Show: Angel
[Cordelia has been bemoaning her miserable life.]
Doyle: Well, I don't know if I can help with the acting, but about the apartment?
Cordelia: What?
Doyle: If you ever wanna, you know, spend one night away from the place? Maybe give me a call.
Cordelia: Well, stranger things have happened. No, wait—they really haven't. [Cordelia leaves and Doyle sits down in Angel's office.]
Doyle: She's really something, isn't she? It's like wrestling a tiger just to get to know her. Tell me stuff.
Angel: What stuff?
Doyle: About Cordelia.
Angel: Well, I... I know she can't type or file. Until today I had some hope regarding the phone.
Doyle: Who's Aura?
Angel: I think she's one of Cordelia's group. People called them the Cordettes. Bunch of girls from wealthy families. They ruled the high school, decided what was in, who was popular. It was like the Soviet Secret Police, if they cared a lot about shoes.
Doyle: Well, I don't know if I can help with the acting, but about the apartment?
Cordelia: What?
Doyle: If you ever wanna, you know, spend one night away from the place? Maybe give me a call.
Cordelia: Well, stranger things have happened. No, wait—they really haven't. [Cordelia leaves and Doyle sits down in Angel's office.]
Doyle: She's really something, isn't she? It's like wrestling a tiger just to get to know her. Tell me stuff.
Angel: What stuff?
Doyle: About Cordelia.
Angel: Well, I... I know she can't type or file. Until today I had some hope regarding the phone.
Doyle: Who's Aura?
Angel: I think she's one of Cordelia's group. People called them the Cordettes. Bunch of girls from wealthy families. They ruled the high school, decided what was in, who was popular. It was like the Soviet Secret Police, if they cared a lot about shoes.
TV Show: Angel
[Still dripping, Angel juggles a stack of Cordelia's luggage.]
Cordelia: Get this. I tried to call Doyle—I have sunk that low—and there was no answer. So here I am. Not that you were the last resort, it's just that I had nowhere else left to go. Roaches! Live ones, dead ones, all skinny feet and creepy antlers.
Angel: Antlers?
Cordelia: Oh my God, I wonder how many stowed away in that bag! Also? The water is all brown and spurty and not hot! I am dying for a shower. I actually smell. Smell me. I never smell. I didn't know I could. I'm just going to have to stay here until I find a decent place—however long that takes. And when I do, you're completely invited over. Hey, you can just dump my stuff on your couch. Or let me have the bed... whatever you feel good about. Also, my suitcase is still out in the hall.
Cordelia: Get this. I tried to call Doyle—I have sunk that low—and there was no answer. So here I am. Not that you were the last resort, it's just that I had nowhere else left to go. Roaches! Live ones, dead ones, all skinny feet and creepy antlers.
Angel: Antlers?
Cordelia: Oh my God, I wonder how many stowed away in that bag! Also? The water is all brown and spurty and not hot! I am dying for a shower. I actually smell. Smell me. I never smell. I didn't know I could. I'm just going to have to stay here until I find a decent place—however long that takes. And when I do, you're completely invited over. Hey, you can just dump my stuff on your couch. Or let me have the bed... whatever you feel good about. Also, my suitcase is still out in the hall.
TV Show: Angel
[Doyle is horrified to find Cordelia staying over at Angel's place.]
Doyle: No... no-no-no-no! Angel, man, how could you?
Angel: How could I what?
Doyle: You knew I was crazy about her—and I was wearing her down, too. But no—handsome, brooding, vampire guy has to swoop in, all sensitive mouth and overhanging forehead! How about leaving some scraps for the homely-looking fellas who don't turn evil when they get some?
Angel: Cordelia stayed over because there's something wrong with her place. I was on the sofa.
Doyle: Oh. That's okay, I suppose.
Doyle: No... no-no-no-no! Angel, man, how could you?
Angel: How could I what?
Doyle: You knew I was crazy about her—and I was wearing her down, too. But no—handsome, brooding, vampire guy has to swoop in, all sensitive mouth and overhanging forehead! How about leaving some scraps for the homely-looking fellas who don't turn evil when they get some?
Angel: Cordelia stayed over because there's something wrong with her place. I was on the sofa.
Doyle: Oh. That's okay, I suppose.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: [looking at apartment] Oh, my gosh. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?
Doyle: [looking at Cordelia] Nope. Never.
Doyle: [looking at Cordelia] Nope. Never.
TV Show: Angel
[Kate checks police archives for past murders in Cordelia's apartment.]
Kate: Now you’re talking like a detective.
Angel: I am a detective.
Kate: Well, you see, the thing about detectives is, they have résumés. And business licenses. And last names. Pop stars and popes — those are the one-name guys.
Angel: You got me. I’m a pope.
Kate: Now you’re talking like a detective.
Angel: I am a detective.
Kate: Well, you see, the thing about detectives is, they have résumés. And business licenses. And last names. Pop stars and popes — those are the one-name guys.
Angel: You got me. I’m a pope.
TV Show: Angel
[Angel has just finished off a tentacled monstrosity in the sewer.]
Angel: Make sure you cut off all the limbs and both heads this time. Remember to bury the parts separately. [tosses sword to Doyle] I don't want this thing coming back to life again.
Cordelia: That's it?
Angel: I'm gonna go clean out the nest. I'll see you back at the office. [he leaves]
Cordelia: Okay, am I wrong in thinking that a "please" and "thank you" is generally considered good form when requesting a dismemberment?
Doyle: He appreciates us, in his own... unappreciative way.
Angel: Make sure you cut off all the limbs and both heads this time. Remember to bury the parts separately. [tosses sword to Doyle] I don't want this thing coming back to life again.
Cordelia: That's it?
Angel: I'm gonna go clean out the nest. I'll see you back at the office. [he leaves]
Cordelia: Okay, am I wrong in thinking that a "please" and "thank you" is generally considered good form when requesting a dismemberment?
Doyle: He appreciates us, in his own... unappreciative way.
TV Show: Angel
[Like father, like daughter—Angel gets a one-two punch from the Detectives Lockley at Trevor's retirement party.]
Kate: Boy, I'm scared. And excited. And consumed with dread. And glad you're here.
Angel: I doubt even one of Little Tony's hired guns would try something in a roomful of cops.
Kate: What? Oh, that death-threat hanging overhead. No, I meant speaking in public. [starts across room toward her father]
Angel: What's that old saw? Picture your audience in their underwear?
Kate: [distractedly looks Angel up and down] Way ahead of you. [Angel catches up just as Kate stops in front of her father and kisses his cheek.] Happy retirement, Daddy.
Trevor: Who's this?
Kate: This is Angel, he's a friend. Angel, this is my father.
Angel: Hello, Mr. Lockley. [they shake] Congratulations.
Trevor: For what? All I did was live this long and not get shot.
Kate: Why do you do that?
Trevor: Do what?
Kate: Pretend important things don't matter.
Trevor: [eyes on Kate] So. Angel. [looks at Angel] How long you been seeing Katie?
Angel: We're, ahh, we're pretty new friends.
Trevor: Well, good to see her out with a man. I was starting to wonder if she didn't lean in another direction altogether.
Kate: Boy, I'm scared. And excited. And consumed with dread. And glad you're here.
Angel: I doubt even one of Little Tony's hired guns would try something in a roomful of cops.
Kate: What? Oh, that death-threat hanging overhead. No, I meant speaking in public. [starts across room toward her father]
Angel: What's that old saw? Picture your audience in their underwear?
Kate: [distractedly looks Angel up and down] Way ahead of you. [Angel catches up just as Kate stops in front of her father and kisses his cheek.] Happy retirement, Daddy.
Trevor: Who's this?
Kate: This is Angel, he's a friend. Angel, this is my father.
Angel: Hello, Mr. Lockley. [they shake] Congratulations.
Trevor: For what? All I did was live this long and not get shot.
Kate: Why do you do that?
Trevor: Do what?
Kate: Pretend important things don't matter.
Trevor: [eyes on Kate] So. Angel. [looks at Angel] How long you been seeing Katie?
Angel: We're, ahh, we're pretty new friends.
Trevor: Well, good to see her out with a man. I was starting to wonder if she didn't lean in another direction altogether.
TV Show: Angel
[Angel, Cordelia and Doyle have just broken in to a back room at the precinct. Angel climbs down and turns to look at the broken window.]
Angel: Wow. That's vandalism.
Doyle: It's okay. We'll take care of it later.
Angel: We should leave a note.
Cordelia: Come on.
Angel: What's the magic word?
Cordelia: Urgh!
Angel: I don't think 'urgh' is a magic word, if one could call it a word, and certainly not a magic one.
Cordelia: We don't have time for this.
Angel: There's always time to be considerate of others, Cordelia.
Cordelia: Oh, please.
Angel: [smiles] There. That wasn't so hard now was it?
Angel: Wow. That's vandalism.
Doyle: It's okay. We'll take care of it later.
Angel: We should leave a note.
Cordelia: Come on.
Angel: What's the magic word?
Cordelia: Urgh!
Angel: I don't think 'urgh' is a magic word, if one could call it a word, and certainly not a magic one.
Cordelia: We don't have time for this.
Angel: There's always time to be considerate of others, Cordelia.
Cordelia: Oh, please.
Angel: [smiles] There. That wasn't so hard now was it?
TV Show: Angel
Doyle: So, you were right. Papazian's planning something.
Angel: What'd ya hear?
Doyle: Papazian's planning something.
Angel: That's it?
Doyle: Johnny Red says, quote, 'Papazian's planning something.'
Angel: Huh. I thought he might be planning something.
Doyle: See? You were right.
Angel: What'd ya hear?
Doyle: Papazian's planning something.
Angel: That's it?
Doyle: Johnny Red says, quote, 'Papazian's planning something.'
Angel: Huh. I thought he might be planning something.
Doyle: See? You were right.
TV Show: Angel
Doyle: Angel, man. You've gotta snap out of this!
Cordy: Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy. Grrrr. Kate needs you.
Angel: Uh uh, I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me.
Cordy: We won't judge you! Will we? [Doyle concurs] ... Give it a try.
Angel: [shakes head] Closeness is too important to me now.
Cordy: Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy. Grrrr. Kate needs you.
Angel: Uh uh, I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me.
Cordy: We won't judge you! Will we? [Doyle concurs] ... Give it a try.
Angel: [shakes head] Closeness is too important to me now.
TV Show: Angel
[Doyle just barely manages to slay the vampire menacing Cordelia.]
Doyle: Are you okay?
Cordelia: I'm fine. That was... you were so... brave!
Doyle: You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're stepping on my moment of manliness here.
Cordelia: I'm sorry. I'm... just...
Doyle: Surprised?
Cordelia: ...Grateful.
Doyle: Are you okay?
Cordelia: I'm fine. That was... you were so... brave!
Doyle: You think you could say that again without so much shock in your voice? You're stepping on my moment of manliness here.
Cordelia: I'm sorry. I'm... just...
Doyle: Surprised?
Cordelia: ...Grateful.
TV Show: Angel
[Karaoke is Angel's only clue about the potential world-destroyer.]
Angel: Seventeen karaoke bars... you know, I need to lie down and scrub out the inside of my head.
Angel: Seventeen karaoke bars... you know, I need to lie down and scrub out the inside of my head.
TV Show: Angel
Cordelia: So, here I am at Le Petit Renard with Mr. Armani, who could keep me in blue boxes for the rest of my life.
Angel: Blue boxes.
Cordelia: Tiffany's! God! And the whole night I was bored silly. All I could think about was, if this wimp saw a monster, he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasel. Turns out, the shoe part was giving him too much credit.
Angel: There aren't very many people who wouldn't run. It's just human nature.
Cordelia: Yeah. ... But all of a sudden "rich and handsome" isn't good enough for me. Now I expect a guy to be all brave and interesting. And it's your fault. Both of you.
Angel: Well, maybe not. Maybe you're changing. That could be a good thing.
Cordelia: Or disastrous. As if I wasn't confused enough, then Doyle comes along and rescues me like some... badly dressed superhero. [Angel supresses smile] He was really beat up. But you know the first thing he asked? 'Are you okay.' [Angel smiles] I mean, that's, like, substance. Right?
Angel: Well, there's definitely more to Doyle than meets the eye.
Cordelia: So I've gotta kill myself. [Angel stops smiling] I swore, when I went down this road with Xander Harris, I'd rather be dead than date a fixer-upper again.... Still, maybe you're right. Maybe Doyle does have hidden depths. I mean, really, really hidden. But depths! And I kinda have to buy him a mochaccino for saving my life, don't you think?
Angel: Well, I...
Cordelia: Me,too. We'll be back in a half, you watch the phones, okay?
Angel: Blue boxes.
Cordelia: Tiffany's! God! And the whole night I was bored silly. All I could think about was, if this wimp saw a monster, he'd probably throw a shoe at it and run like a weasel. Turns out, the shoe part was giving him too much credit.
Angel: There aren't very many people who wouldn't run. It's just human nature.
Cordelia: Yeah. ... But all of a sudden "rich and handsome" isn't good enough for me. Now I expect a guy to be all brave and interesting. And it's your fault. Both of you.
Angel: Well, maybe not. Maybe you're changing. That could be a good thing.
Cordelia: Or disastrous. As if I wasn't confused enough, then Doyle comes along and rescues me like some... badly dressed superhero. [Angel supresses smile] He was really beat up. But you know the first thing he asked? 'Are you okay.' [Angel smiles] I mean, that's, like, substance. Right?
Angel: Well, there's definitely more to Doyle than meets the eye.
Cordelia: So I've gotta kill myself. [Angel stops smiling] I swore, when I went down this road with Xander Harris, I'd rather be dead than date a fixer-upper again.... Still, maybe you're right. Maybe Doyle does have hidden depths. I mean, really, really hidden. But depths! And I kinda have to buy him a mochaccino for saving my life, don't you think?
Angel: Well, I...
Cordelia: Me,too. We'll be back in a half, you watch the phones, okay?
TV Show: Angel
Harrie: I am only going to ask you this once, Richard. And I expect a straight answer. Were you, or were you not, intending to eat my ex-husband's brains?
Richard: In a way.
Harrie: And when were you planning on telling me?
Richard: I thought maybe I wouldn't have to.
Harrie: You were going to start our life out together with deceit?
Doyle: [to Angel] Sorta missing the point, isn't she?
Richard: In a way.
Harrie: And when were you planning on telling me?
Richard: I thought maybe I wouldn't have to.
Harrie: You were going to start our life out together with deceit?
Doyle: [to Angel] Sorta missing the point, isn't she?
TV Show: Angel
Harrie: Oh, please, Uncle John. When was the last time you pried yourself away from ESPN long enough to spill the blood of a she-goat?
TV Show: Angel
[A deeply depressed Doyle sits alone in the outer office.]
Cordelia: Well, someone has to go out there and cheer him up. [Angel reluctantly stands] Oh, please. Someone with a heartbeat? [walks over to sofa] Hi, Doyle! Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like, full time now? 'Cause, you know, we already have one of those around the office.
Angel: Hey!
Doyle: Hey!
Cordelia: He can get away with it. He's tall, and... and look at the way clothes hang on him! But you...
Angel: Okay, I think you've cheered us up enough.
Cordelia: You can't live in the past. You gotta move on. Let it go. Forget it. Tomorrow is another day. Did I mention letting it go?
Doyle: Twice.
Cordelia: [sits beside Doyle] You're gonna get through this, Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last.
Doyle: ...You think I'm a nice guy?
Cordelia: I think it, I say it. It's my way.
Cordelia: Well, someone has to go out there and cheer him up. [Angel reluctantly stands] Oh, please. Someone with a heartbeat? [walks over to sofa] Hi, Doyle! Are you gonna become loser pining guy, like, full time now? 'Cause, you know, we already have one of those around the office.
Angel: Hey!
Doyle: Hey!
Cordelia: He can get away with it. He's tall, and... and look at the way clothes hang on him! But you...
Angel: Okay, I think you've cheered us up enough.
Cordelia: You can't live in the past. You gotta move on. Let it go. Forget it. Tomorrow is another day. Did I mention letting it go?
Doyle: Twice.
Cordelia: [sits beside Doyle] You're gonna get through this, Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last.
Doyle: ...You think I'm a nice guy?
Cordelia: I think it, I say it. It's my way.
TV Show: Angel
[Buffy visits Angel.]
Doyle: So, that's the Slayer.
Cordelia: That's our little Buffy.
Doyle: Well, she seemed a little...
Cordelia: Bulgarian in that outfit?
Doyle: Naw, I was gonna say 'hurt'.
Cordelia: Yeah, there's a lot of that when they're together. Come on.
Doyle: So, that's the Slayer.
Cordelia: That's our little Buffy.
Doyle: Well, she seemed a little...
Cordelia: Bulgarian in that outfit?
Doyle: Naw, I was gonna say 'hurt'.
Cordelia: Yeah, there's a lot of that when they're together. Come on.
TV Show: Angel