Animal Crackers Quotes
Capt. Spaulding: If I were Eugene O'Neill, I could tell you what I really think of you two. You know, you're very fortunate the Theatre Guild isn't putting this on. And so is the Guild!
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: If I were Eugene O'Neill, I could tell you what I really think of you two. You know, you're very fortunate the Theatre Guild isn't putting this on. And so is the Guild!
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Signor Ravelli's first selection will be "Somewhere My Love Lies Sleeping" with a male chorus.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Signor Ravelli's first selection will be Somewhere My Love Lies Sleeping with a male chorus.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Take the marriage problem. Take the foreign problem. Take Abyssinia. Say, you take Abyssinia and I'll take a hot fudge sundae on rye bread.
Movie: Animal Crackers
[Jamison finishes reading the letter that Spaulding dictated to him]
Horatio Jamison: [reading] Quotes, unquotes, and quotes.
Capt. Spaulding: That's three quotes?
Horatio Jamison: Yes, sir.
Capt. Spaulding: Add another quote and make it a gallon. How much is it a gallon, Jamison?
Horatio Jamison: Regards.
Capt. Spaulding: Regards. That's a fine letter, Jamison, that's an epic. That's dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of that letter and throw the original away. And when you get through with that, throw the carbon copies away. Just send a stamp, airmail, that's all. You may go, Jamison. I may go too.
Horatio Jamison: [reading] Quotes, unquotes, and quotes.
Capt. Spaulding: That's three quotes?
Horatio Jamison: Yes, sir.
Capt. Spaulding: Add another quote and make it a gallon. How much is it a gallon, Jamison?
Horatio Jamison: Regards.
Capt. Spaulding: Regards. That's a fine letter, Jamison, that's an epic. That's dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of that letter and throw the original away. And when you get through with that, throw the carbon copies away. Just send a stamp, airmail, that's all. You may go, Jamison. I may go too.
Movie: Animal Crackers
[to Mrs. Rittenhouse and Mrs. Whitehead]
Capt. Spaulding: You know, you two girls have everything. You're tall and short and slim and stout and blonde and brunette. And that's just the kind of a girl I crave.
Capt. Spaulding: You know, you two girls have everything. You're tall and short and slim and stout and blonde and brunette. And that's just the kind of a girl I crave.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: [to Mrs. Rittenhouse and Mrs. Whitehead] Let's get married.
Mrs. Whitehead: All of us?
Capt. Spaulding: All of us.
Mrs. Whitehead: Why, that's bigamy.
Capt. Spaulding: Yes, and it's big of me too.
Mrs. Whitehead: All of us?
Capt. Spaulding: All of us.
Mrs. Whitehead: Why, that's bigamy.
Capt. Spaulding: Yes, and it's big of me too.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Take the marriage problem. Take the foreign problem. Take Abyssinia. Say, you take Abyssinia and I'll take a hot fudge sundae on rye bread.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Guests: Hooray for Captain Spaulding, the African explorer!
Capt. Spaulding: Did someone call me schnorrer?
Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
Horatio Jamison: He went into the jungle where all the monkeys throw nuts.
Capt. Spaulding: If I stay here, I'll go nuts.
Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray! He put all his reliance / In courage and defiance / And risked his life for science.
Capt. Spaulding: Hey, hey!
Mrs. Rittenhouse: He is the only white man who covered every acre...
Capt. Spaulding: I think I'll try and make her...
Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
Capt. Spaulding: Did someone call me schnorrer?
Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
Horatio Jamison: He went into the jungle where all the monkeys throw nuts.
Capt. Spaulding: If I stay here, I'll go nuts.
Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray! He put all his reliance / In courage and defiance / And risked his life for science.
Capt. Spaulding: Hey, hey!
Mrs. Rittenhouse: He is the only white man who covered every acre...
Capt. Spaulding: I think I'll try and make her...
Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
Movie: Animal Crackers
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Captain, this leaves me speechless.
Capt. Spaulding: Well, see that you remain that way.
Capt. Spaulding: Well, see that you remain that way.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Oh, Captain Spaulding...
Capt. Spaulding: I'll attend to you later.
[turns back to the litter-bearers]
Capt. Spaulding: Don't try and pull that...
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Oh, Captain Spaulding...
Capt. Spaulding: [she finally succeeds in getting his attention] Why, you're one of the most beautiful women I've *ever* seen, and that's not saying much for you.
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Captain Spaulding, Rittenhouse Manor is entirely at your disposal.
Capt. Spaulding: Well, I'm certainly grateful for this magnificent washout - er, turnout. And now I'd like to say a few words.
[sings]
Capt. Spaulding: Hello, I must be going/I cannot stay, I came to say I must be going/I'm glad I came, but just the same, I must be going, la-la!
[Tries to leave, the guests stop him]
Mrs. Rittenhouse: [sings] For my sake, you must stay/If you should go away/You'd spoil this party I am throwing.
Capt. Spaulding: [sings] I'll stay a week or two/I'll stay the summer through/But I am telling you/I must be going
Capt. Spaulding: I'll attend to you later.
[turns back to the litter-bearers]
Capt. Spaulding: Don't try and pull that...
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Oh, Captain Spaulding...
Capt. Spaulding: [she finally succeeds in getting his attention] Why, you're one of the most beautiful women I've *ever* seen, and that's not saying much for you.
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Captain Spaulding, Rittenhouse Manor is entirely at your disposal.
Capt. Spaulding: Well, I'm certainly grateful for this magnificent washout - er, turnout. And now I'd like to say a few words.
[sings]
Capt. Spaulding: Hello, I must be going/I cannot stay, I came to say I must be going/I'm glad I came, but just the same, I must be going, la-la!
[Tries to leave, the guests stop him]
Mrs. Rittenhouse: [sings] For my sake, you must stay/If you should go away/You'd spoil this party I am throwing.
Capt. Spaulding: [sings] I'll stay a week or two/I'll stay the summer through/But I am telling you/I must be going
Movie: Animal Crackers
Ravelli: [asking Roscoe Chandler about his new identity] How did you get to be Roscoe W. Chandler?
Roscoe Chandler: Say, how did you get to be an Italian?
Ravelli: Never mind that, whose confession is this?
Roscoe Chandler: Say, how did you get to be an Italian?
Ravelli: Never mind that, whose confession is this?
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Geoffrey T. Spaulding: One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Play that song about the Irish chiropodist.
Ravelli: Irish chiropodist?
Capt. Spaulding: "My Fate Is In Your Hands".
Ravelli: Irish chiropodist?
Capt. Spaulding: "My Fate Is In Your Hands".
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west, and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Have you met Conductor Hennessey?
Inspector Hennessey: Inspector.
Capt. Spaulding: *You* inspect her.
Inspector Hennessey: Inspector.
Capt. Spaulding: *You* inspect her.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Play that song about the Irish chiropodist.
Ravelli: Irish chiropodist?
Capt. Spaulding: My Fate Is In Your Hands.
Ravelli: Irish chiropodist?
Capt. Spaulding: My Fate Is In Your Hands.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Why, you've got beauty, charm, money! You *have* got money, haven't you? Because if you haven't, we can quit right now.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Living with your folks... living with your folks... the beginning of the end... drab, dead yesterdays shutting out beautiful tomorrows... hideous, stumbling footsteps creaking along the misty corridors of time... and in those corridors I see figures... straaange figures... weeeird figures: Steel 186, Anaconda 74, American Can 138.
Movie: Animal Crackers
Capt. Spaulding: Tell me, what do you think of the traffic problem? What do you think of the marriage problem? What do you think of at night when you go to bed, you beast?
Movie: Animal Crackers