Animaniacs Quotes
Wakko: Hey, you wanna hear a joke?
Dr. Scratchansniff: No! I don't like ze jokes, Wakko!
Wakko: Not even a knock-knock joke?
Dr. Scratchansniff: NO!
[Wakko and Dr. Scratchansniff sit quietly for a moment.]
Wakko: It's really funny.
Dr. Scratchansniff: Oh, alright, fine. One joke.
Wakko: Knock-knock!
Dr. Scratchansniff: Who's there?
Wakko: Max!
Dr. Scratchansniff: ...Max, who?
Wakko: Max wants to come in and go crazy!
Dr. Scratchansniff: [looks at the audience, confused, then back at Wakko] Uhm... Okay, now that's not really a joke, is it? You see, because it makes no sense.
Wakko: It does if you know Max.
Dr. Scratchansniff: But I don't KNOW Max!!
Wakko: If you did, you'd be laughin`!
Dr. Scratchansniff: No! I don't like ze jokes, Wakko!
Wakko: Not even a knock-knock joke?
Dr. Scratchansniff: NO!
[Wakko and Dr. Scratchansniff sit quietly for a moment.]
Wakko: It's really funny.
Dr. Scratchansniff: Oh, alright, fine. One joke.
Wakko: Knock-knock!
Dr. Scratchansniff: Who's there?
Wakko: Max!
Dr. Scratchansniff: ...Max, who?
Wakko: Max wants to come in and go crazy!
Dr. Scratchansniff: [looks at the audience, confused, then back at Wakko] Uhm... Okay, now that's not really a joke, is it? You see, because it makes no sense.
Wakko: It does if you know Max.
Dr. Scratchansniff: But I don't KNOW Max!!
Wakko: If you did, you'd be laughin`!
TV Show: Animaniacs
Dr. Scratchansniff: Yakko, it's time to take the inkblot-test. Now, tell me... [shows an inkblot] ...what does this remind you of?
Yakko: Girls.
Dr. Scratchansniff: [shows another inkblot] What does this remind you of?
Yakko: Girls.
Dr. Scratchansniff: [annoyed, shows him one more inkblot] What does this remind you of?
Yakko: [analyzes the inkblot] Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, girls.
Dr. Scratchansniff: Grrr! You are obsessed with GIRLS!
Yakko: Hey, you're the one showing me all the sexy pictures.
Yakko: Girls.
Dr. Scratchansniff: [shows another inkblot] What does this remind you of?
Yakko: Girls.
Dr. Scratchansniff: [annoyed, shows him one more inkblot] What does this remind you of?
Yakko: [analyzes the inkblot] Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, girls.
Dr. Scratchansniff: Grrr! You are obsessed with GIRLS!
Yakko: Hey, you're the one showing me all the sexy pictures.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Yakko: Look, we'd love to stay here, counting our brain cells one by one as they die...
Dot: ...but we can't.
Dot: ...but we can't.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Survey Ladies: Would you like to take a survey?
Yakko: No. Would you like to take a hike?!
Yakko: No. Would you like to take a hike?!
TV Show: Animaniacs
Skippy: But Aunt Slappy, those were cartoons, and this is real life!
Slappy: (to the audience) Don't tell him, he might crack.
Slappy: (to the audience) Don't tell him, he might crack.
TV Show: Animaniacs
(Slappy throws away can into a random trash can)
Candie Chipmunk: Excuse me!
Slappy: You're excused.
Candie Chipmunk: Excuse me!
Slappy: You're excused.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Slappy: If I were a better person, I'd ignore her and go on with my life. But I'm not.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Slappy: Skippy, in most cases, revenge is not the right thing. In other cases, it's the only thing.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Slappy: What about the plot, Hemingway? What's an anvil got to do with this story?
Skippy: Who cares? Anvils are funny!
Skippy: Who cares? Anvils are funny!
TV Show: Animaniacs
Slappy: I'm gonna make you some brain food. That's right, I'm gonna make you my famous walnut fig dough surprise.
Skippy: What's the surprise?
Slappy: I'm outta walnuts.
Skippy: What's the surprise?
Slappy: I'm outta walnuts.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Slappy: Look, Skippy. I've seen and done every trick in the book- [Skippy sees a large dog looming behind Slappy] Hold it there! You're doing the old "Frozen Take" bit, which means Doug the Dog... [Pulls a club out of her purse and clonks Doug without looking] ...was right behind me. Heh-heh-heh!
TV Show: Animaniacs
Stinkbomb: It's our sworn duty to chase 'em, catch 'em, and shake 'em like rag dolls!
Bumpo: Why?
Stinkbomb: I dunno. It's what we do.
Bumpo: Why?
Stinkbomb: I dunno. It's what we do.
TV Show: Animaniacs
[Slappy's cartoons have just received terrible reviews from Lean Hisskill and Codger Eggbert]
Skippy: Those mean men! How could they say such horrible things?!
Slappy: Now Skippy, it's a free country. Everyone's entitled to his own opinion.
Skippy: But they're wrong! You're the funniest cartoon character ever!
Slappy: Calm down, Skippy.
Skippy: We can't let 'em get away with it, Aunt Slappy! [Runs to a closet and comes out with bandoleers of bullets and a pair of small missiles] Let's get em!
Slappy: Skippy, no! What are you thinkin'?
Skippy: [Looks sorry] Oh. You're right, Aunt Slappy... [Goes back into the closet, and pulls out an even bigger pair of missiles] We'll need the big bombs!
Slappy: That's better, kid! C'mon, let's blow 'em to Kingdom Come!
Skippy: Those mean men! How could they say such horrible things?!
Slappy: Now Skippy, it's a free country. Everyone's entitled to his own opinion.
Skippy: But they're wrong! You're the funniest cartoon character ever!
Slappy: Calm down, Skippy.
Skippy: We can't let 'em get away with it, Aunt Slappy! [Runs to a closet and comes out with bandoleers of bullets and a pair of small missiles] Let's get em!
Slappy: Skippy, no! What are you thinkin'?
Skippy: [Looks sorry] Oh. You're right, Aunt Slappy... [Goes back into the closet, and pulls out an even bigger pair of missiles] We'll need the big bombs!
Slappy: That's better, kid! C'mon, let's blow 'em to Kingdom Come!
TV Show: Animaniacs
Skippy: This has been the worst day ever in the whole wide world.
Slappy: You mean Mel Brooks made a sequel to Robin Hood: Men in Tights?
Slappy: You mean Mel Brooks made a sequel to Robin Hood: Men in Tights?
TV Show: Animaniacs
Slappy: Gotta watch my figure. Hey, somebody's gotta watch it! [lifts up her fur to reveal shapely legs] Heh heh heh heh heh!
TV Show: Animaniacs
Slappy: Whatever happened to "Go get 'em, Aunt Slappy"?!
Skippy: That was before I knew you were a murderer.
Slappy: Suddenly my biggest fan is turnin' into Perry Mason here!
Skippy: Perry Mason? Join the 90s!
Slappy: You want modern reference? I'm old! [pause] Kids!
Skippy: That was before I knew you were a murderer.
Slappy: Suddenly my biggest fan is turnin' into Perry Mason here!
Skippy: Perry Mason? Join the 90s!
Slappy: You want modern reference? I'm old! [pause] Kids!
TV Show: Animaniacs
[Slappy and Skippy {circa 1969} have woken up to find that Woodstock has sprung up around their tree]
Slappy: Skippy, what's the name of that group playing on stage?
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The name of the group.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The group on stage.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The group playing on stage!
Skippy: Who!
Slappy: You're starting to sound like an owl, Skippy.
Skippy: Who is on stage!
Slappy: That's what I'm asking you. Who is on stage?
Skippy: That's what I said!
Slappy: You said who?
Skippy: I sure did!
Slappy: So tell me the name
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The name of the group
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The group on stage.
Skippy: Who!
Slappy: The name of the band on stage.
Skippy: Who!
Slappy: You're doing that owl thing again, Skippy!
Skippy: I'm not, Aunt Slappy! I'm telling you Who's on stage!
Slappy: So tell me.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The name of the group.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The group on stage.
Skippy: Who!
Slappy: That's what I'm asking you!
Skippy: And I'm telling you the answer!
[Slappy, annoyed, looks towards the fourth wall]
Slappy: Wait, Skippy, let's start over. Is there a band on stage?
Skippy: Yes.
Slappy: Does that band have a name?
Skippy: Yes.
Slappy: Do you know the name of the band?
Skippy: Yes!
Slappy: So tell me the name of the band on stage.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The name of the band.
Sk
Slappy: Skippy, what's the name of that group playing on stage?
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The name of the group.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The group on stage.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The group playing on stage!
Skippy: Who!
Slappy: You're starting to sound like an owl, Skippy.
Skippy: Who is on stage!
Slappy: That's what I'm asking you. Who is on stage?
Skippy: That's what I said!
Slappy: You said who?
Skippy: I sure did!
Slappy: So tell me the name
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The name of the group
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The group on stage.
Skippy: Who!
Slappy: The name of the band on stage.
Skippy: Who!
Slappy: You're doing that owl thing again, Skippy!
Skippy: I'm not, Aunt Slappy! I'm telling you Who's on stage!
Slappy: So tell me.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The name of the group.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The group on stage.
Skippy: Who!
Slappy: That's what I'm asking you!
Skippy: And I'm telling you the answer!
[Slappy, annoyed, looks towards the fourth wall]
Slappy: Wait, Skippy, let's start over. Is there a band on stage?
Skippy: Yes.
Slappy: Does that band have a name?
Skippy: Yes.
Slappy: Do you know the name of the band?
Skippy: Yes!
Slappy: So tell me the name of the band on stage.
Skippy: Who.
Slappy: The name of the band.
Sk
TV Show: Animaniacs
Colin: Okay, so one time Randy Beaman was eating corn flakes, only they weren't corn flakes, they were his uncle's scab collection. 'Kay, bye.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Colin: Okay, so one time Randy Beaman's cat ate this fish from the fish tank, but the fish was a piranha, and it lived inside the cat forever, and the cat became... Piranha Cat. 'Kay, bye.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Colin: Okay, one time, Randy Beaman's mom's best friend, whose name is Linda, wanted to get a tan more than anything. So she went to a tanning salon and she stayed in too long and she boiled her guts. 'Kay, bye.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Colin: Okay, one time Randy Beaman woke up in the middle of the night and he saw Dracula but he thought it was just his clothes hanging in his closet, then he turned on the light and it really was Dracula. 'Kay, bye.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Colin: One time Randy Beaman ate popcorn and drank soda at the same time and his head exploded! 'Kay, bye.
TV Show: Animaniacs
Buster & Babs Bunny: Buster and Babs Bunny. No relation.
Noah: Let's hope not, it's a children's show.
Noah: Let's hope not, it's a children's show.
TV Show: Animaniacs
God: I've decided to make it rain for forty days and forty nights. I comand thee to build an ark.
Noah: Ok, fine. What's an ark?
Indiana Jones: It's what I've been searching for! It's this incredible bejeweled box containing the power of the heavens. And it melts Nazis.
Noah: Ok, fine. What's an ark?
Indiana Jones: It's what I've been searching for! It's this incredible bejeweled box containing the power of the heavens. And it melts Nazis.
TV Show: Animaniacs