Arrested Development Quotes
Tobias Fünke: So fill each one of these bags with some glitter, my photo resume, some candy, and a note.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke: [reading one of the notes] "I know where you live, ha, ha." Casting directors hate this.
Narrator: They really do.
Casting Director: [shows a casting director's office] The glitteratti has struck again. [reading the resume]
Casting Director: Never hire Tobias Funke.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Tobias Fünke: So what are your plans for this evening?
Bob Loblaw: I thought that maybe I would stay in and work on my law blog.
Tobias Fünke: Ah, yes. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog". You, sir, are a mouthful.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Kitty: The program has changed my life. And I have a sponsor now. [whispers]
Kitty: He's famous.
Michael: That's great.
Kitty: I can't tell you who he is, but let's just say... that he was on... "Night Court."
Michael: Well, you look great...
Kitty: ...I can tell you who it's NOT. It's not Bull. It's not Harry Anderson.
Michael: I got it...
Kitty: ...and he's white.
Michael: I know who it is.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: [about Lucille] It's like she gets off on being witholding.
Michael: Whoa. Buster.
Gob: Look who's got something to say.
Buster: [impersonating Lucille] I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself. [everyone laughs]
Gob: Look who's ragging on the old lady.
Buster: Cause I'm an uptight [long bleep]
Buster: Buster [Long bleep]
Buster: ... you old horny slut.
Michael: [pause] Well, no one's going to top that.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: [Buster discovers that Lucille and Oscar are making love in his hand chair] Make love in your *own* hand, Mother.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: [Confronting Lucille about his birth father] You lied to me... you said my FATHER was my father, but my UNCLE is my father. MY FATHER IS MY UNCLE.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: [describing Lucille 2 as he saw her without glasses on] ... a darkish area with... points.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: [to Michael] Mom signed me up for the army, just because the fat man dared her to.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: Hey, I just came to tell you that I can't do that wall.
Drill Instructor: There's no time for that. We're shipping out without you. Haven't you heard? [hands Buster military files]
Buster: Weapons of Mass Destruction?
Gob: Those bastards.
Drill Instructor: I did not say that.
Gob: Are you going to allow that, Buster? Are you going to allow your children, and your children's children, and any children that I might have out there to live in fear for the rest of their lives? [advances to the wall]
Gob: Climb that wall, homo.
Drill Instructor: Go get 'em.
Narrator: [as Buster climbs the wall] Buster got the encouragement he needed, and just when it seemed there wouldn't be any surprises... [Gob punches Buster as he jumps to the other side]
Narrator: ... it did.
Gob: Now, when you do this without getting punched, you'll have more fun.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: I have an idea. It is time I used something I trained for in Army, but I never got a chance to do. [he prepares to zipline to a balcony where George Michael and Lucille are]
Michael: Buster, you can't zip-line over there.
Buster: Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. You have to get on your knees to start it.
Michael: This is much less scary. Godspeed, Buster.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: Mom is becoming a little controlling.
Michael: What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?
Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a Graham Cracker out there.
Michael: You baited the balcony?
Lucille Bluth: Prove it.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: My Army training tells me... that this is going to be a hot mission.
Michael: What? A hot mission?
Buster: Yes. I create a diversion, and you grab George Michael and go. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother".
Michael: No, le-let's try to top that.
Narrator: They never did, and later, "Operation Hot Mother" was underway.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: No mother, I can blow myself. You've interfered for the last time.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: Oh my god... Oh my god... I killed Michael...
Gob: But on the plus side, you got punched in the face.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: Oh, my God, she's after our money.
Michael: No, we don't have any money.
Buster: Oh, my God, she's already taken our money.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: We're excavating a pterodactyl. [plainly shows a human skull; Buster accidentally hits and breaks it with a hammer]
Buster: That was 90% gravity.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Buster: Why should I have to sit and cheer Annyong? Annyong never cheers me.
Annyong: Go Fatty. [Buster lunges at him and they fight]
Lucille: Stop it. He's your little brother.
Buster: No he isn't. I came out of you, he didn't.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Wayne Jarvis: I have a picture taken by a traffic camera of you escorting your father. [hands it to Michael]
Barry Zuckerkorn: Are you sure these aren't balls? Because last time, they were balls.
Barry Zuckerkorn: [Barry is handed the picture of Michael and George Sr. in the stair car] I really wish they were balls.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lucille Austero: Do you like ham?
Carl Weathers: No. [pause]
Carl Weathers: I love it.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Lucille Austero: Today at lunch, you were ashamed to be with me.
Gob: No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Dr. Gunty: [to Tobias, during a role playing session] Right. If I'm no Schwimmer, you're no Jennifer Aniston.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Wife of Gob: G. O. B. , I want out. I'm in love with your brother...
Gob: What? [to Michael]
Gob: You did it again, you son of a bitch. [Punches Michael]
Wife of Gob: ...In-law. Tobias. Sorry. I should have finished that thought.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Wife of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of Gob: No. Your sister's husband.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth: Michael? Michael.
Wife of Gob: No. That's your sister's brother.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth: No, I'm my sister's brother.You're in love with me? Me.
Wife of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth: My brother-in-law?
Wife of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth: To be with your brother?
Wife of Gob: No.
TV Show: Arrested Development
White Power Bill: White Power! [as he stabs Gob in the kidney]
Gob: But I'm white!
TV Show: Arrested Development