Arrested Development Quotes
[Lindsay walks into the Ten Commandments and breaks her shoe]
Lucille: They're just heels, honey. They can only support so much weight.
Lucille: They're just heels, honey. They can only support so much weight.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Lucille replaces Lupe with a robot vacuum cleaner, then catches Buster in bed with it]
Buster: Well, what do you expect, mother? [holds up his hook]
Buster: I'm half machine. I'm a monster.
Buster: Well, what do you expect, mother? [holds up his hook]
Buster: I'm half machine. I'm a monster.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Michael has found his brother, Gob, hidden in his office]
Michael: One of those British guys came up to me and told me to back off. I can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This may be dangerous.
Gob: So you came back here to hide like a child.
Michael: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
Gob: Hiding from a child. Big difference.
Michael: Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection.
Gob: He doesn't know what he feels. I'm tired of being told - my God. What is this feeling? [Schmaltzy music begins to play]
Michael: You know, the feeling that you're feeling is just what many of us call... a "feeling".
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite - it's like my heart is getting hard. [the music reaches its crescendo]
Gob: Maybe I am ready to be a father.
Michael: One of those British guys came up to me and told me to back off. I can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This may be dangerous.
Gob: So you came back here to hide like a child.
Michael: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
Gob: Hiding from a child. Big difference.
Michael: Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection.
Gob: He doesn't know what he feels. I'm tired of being told - my God. What is this feeling? [Schmaltzy music begins to play]
Michael: You know, the feeling that you're feeling is just what many of us call... a "feeling".
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite - it's like my heart is getting hard. [the music reaches its crescendo]
Gob: Maybe I am ready to be a father.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Michael is asked to take over the family business]
Michael: I'm moving to Phoenix. I got a job. [There is an awkward silence]
Michael: Something you apply for and they pay you to... Never mind, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Michael: I'm moving to Phoenix. I got a job. [There is an awkward silence]
Michael: Something you apply for and they pay you to... Never mind, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[on the phone]
George Michael: Hello, Bluth Company.
George Sr.: Talk me off, honey. Talk me off.
George Michael: Talk you off what, PopPop?
George Sr.: Oh, George Michael. I thought you were - when's that voice gonna drop? Put Kitty on the phone.
George Michael: Hello, Bluth Company.
George Sr.: Talk me off, honey. Talk me off.
George Michael: Talk you off what, PopPop?
George Sr.: Oh, George Michael. I thought you were - when's that voice gonna drop? Put Kitty on the phone.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[opening credits]
Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It's Arrested Development.
Narrator: Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It's Arrested Development.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[repeated line after Buster gets a prosthetic hook]
Buster: I'm a monster.
Buster: I'm a monster.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[repeated line]
Tobias Fünke: Hey, who wants to take me to the hospital?
Tobias Fünke: Hey, who wants to take me to the hospital?
TV Show: Arrested Development
[repeated line]
Kitty: It's the last time you'll see these. [flashes Michael]
Kitty: It's the last time you'll see these. [flashes Michael]
TV Show: Arrested Development
[the Bluths have hired Andy Griffith to sit in on George Sr's hearing]
Lindsay Funke: Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn't like his trailer. [the camera pans over to reveal the log cabin truck]
Lindsay Funke: He thought we were making fun of him.
Narrator: They were not making fun of Andy Griffith. This cannot be stressed enough.
Lindsay Funke: Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn't like his trailer. [the camera pans over to reveal the log cabin truck]
Lindsay Funke: He thought we were making fun of him.
Narrator: They were not making fun of Andy Griffith. This cannot be stressed enough.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Tobias creating buzz around the water cooler]
Tobias Fünke: That Funke is some kind of something. Boy, this Funke is all anybody's ever talking about. So sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that Funke is. Overrated.
Tobias Fünke: That Funke is some kind of something. Boy, this Funke is all anybody's ever talking about. So sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that Funke is. Overrated.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Tobias discovers that George Sr. has been living in the attic]
Tobias Fünke: What are you doing up here?
George Sr.: I'm having a fucking tea party, what does it look like I'm doing? [he shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth]
George Sr.: I'm living up here and if you tell anyone about this, I will fucking kill you. Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.
Tobias Fünke: What are you doing up here?
George Sr.: I'm having a fucking tea party, what does it look like I'm doing? [he shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth]
George Sr.: I'm living up here and if you tell anyone about this, I will fucking kill you. Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Tobias has painted himself blue]
Tobias Funke: I blue myself.
Michael Bluth: There has got to be a better way to say that.
Tobias Funke: I blue myself.
Michael Bluth: There has got to be a better way to say that.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Tobias is directing George Michael and Maeby in the school play]
Tobias Fünke: Look, you are playing adults... [Tobias falls out of his chair]
Tobias Fünke: [to nearby student] Pick that up. Pick that up, please.
Tobias Fünke: ...with fully formed libidos, not two young men playing grab-ass in the shower.
Tobias Fünke: Look, you are playing adults... [Tobias falls out of his chair]
Tobias Fünke: [to nearby student] Pick that up. Pick that up, please.
Tobias Fünke: ...with fully formed libidos, not two young men playing grab-ass in the shower.
TV Show: Arrested Development
[Tobias is trying to impress Maeby by buying some leather]
Tobias Fünke: I'm looking for something that says "Dad likes leather".
Salesman: You mean... Leather Daddy?
Tobias Fünke: I'm looking for something that says "Dad likes leather".
Salesman: You mean... Leather Daddy?
TV Show: Arrested Development
[upon seeing GOB's banana stand "mascots"]
George Michael: Are those strippers?
Michael: If I know your uncle, they're at least strippers.
George Michael: Are those strippers?
Michael: If I know your uncle, they're at least strippers.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Narrator: [as Tobias prepares himself] Tobias had recently auditioned for a role as a member of the silent performance trio, the Blue Man Group.
Tobias Fünke: And this is "Kids", from "Bye, Bye, Birdie". [piano cues up the song]
Narrator: He had yet to hear back from them.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Narrator: [Lucille hires contractors to build into Lucille 2's apartment] On the next Arrested Development, Lucille 2 reclaims some space.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Narrator: [Michael argues with GOB over who should do the ribbon-cutting ceremony] George Sr. had always done the ribbon-cutting ceremony, even for the Orange County Prison, which he built, and later, ironically, would occupy.
TV Show: Arrested Development
Narrator: [Rita enters the house, the family freezes] Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench.
TV Show: Arrested Development