Batman Quotes
Egghead: [smiling] Oh you could trust me, Batgirl
Batgirl: I'd as soon trust a snake with poison on both ends.
Batgirl: I'd as soon trust a snake with poison on both ends.
TV Show: Batman
Olga: [to Egghead] You are a heartless, hairless man. I am liking you more and more.
TV Show: Batman
Joker: Let bygones be bygones. I'd like to shake hands with both of you. Can't we be friends?
Robin: I'd rather shake hands with a spitting cobra!
Batman: You're being cynical, Robin. To err is human, to forgive...divine.
...
Batman: [After being buzzed by Joker while shaking hands] Another...practical joke, Joker.
Joker: Not exactly Batman, it's my deadly joker buzzer, one by one your five senses will leave you. Then your lungs will collapse, and certainly you'll be KAPUT, FINI, DEFUNCT!
Robin: I'd rather shake hands with a spitting cobra!
Batman: You're being cynical, Robin. To err is human, to forgive...divine.
...
Batman: [After being buzzed by Joker while shaking hands] Another...practical joke, Joker.
Joker: Not exactly Batman, it's my deadly joker buzzer, one by one your five senses will leave you. Then your lungs will collapse, and certainly you'll be KAPUT, FINI, DEFUNCT!
TV Show: Batman
Batman: You constantly amaze me, Batgirl. I can't figure out how you manage to stay on top of the caper as quickly as we do.
Batgirl: Tea leaves, stars, crystal gazing, all part of a woman crimefighter's arsenal, Batman.
Batgirl: Tea leaves, stars, crystal gazing, all part of a woman crimefighter's arsenal, Batman.
TV Show: Batman
Batman: The mirror's broken Catwoman, and the last cat has crossed our path. From now on all the luck is with us.
TV Show: Batman
Little Louie Grouvy: Those cats were the thieves: the chick with the swinging outfit, the CREEP with the green hair and those four clowns.
TV Show: Batman
Nora: [regarding Batgirl] Oh yes! I forgot about her. With a woman helping them, the Dynamic Duo could give us some trouble...
TV Show: Batman
Nora: [holding a sharp pin to Batgirl's neck] Alright girls, let's tie the Terrific Trio - into Terrific Siamese Human Knots.
TV Show: Batman
Penguin: You used a foul trick to murder those innocent fruit flies!
Batman: You murdered them, Penguin...when you let them out!
Batman: You murdered them, Penguin...when you let them out!
TV Show: Batman
[Penguin snatches Chief O'Hara's pocket watch, but then O'Hara and everyone else gets up after pretending to be asleep]
Chief O'Hara: You won't be needin' a watch where you're going!
Penguin: Wha???
Chief O'Hara: You'll need a calendar - a 20-year calendar!
Penguin: This is impossible! You're all infected with Lygerian Sleeping Sickness!
Miss Clean: Oh, you see that's what happens, Pengy-poo, when you're sending off *flies* to do a *man's* job!
Robin: That's right, Pengy-poo! We're just sleepwalking!
Batgirl: What do you say to a little sleep-fighting, Robin?
Robin: Huh! Good idea, Batgirl!
Chief O'Hara: You won't be needin' a watch where you're going!
Penguin: Wha???
Chief O'Hara: You'll need a calendar - a 20-year calendar!
Penguin: This is impossible! You're all infected with Lygerian Sleeping Sickness!
Miss Clean: Oh, you see that's what happens, Pengy-poo, when you're sending off *flies* to do a *man's* job!
Robin: That's right, Pengy-poo! We're just sleepwalking!
Batgirl: What do you say to a little sleep-fighting, Robin?
Robin: Huh! Good idea, Batgirl!
TV Show: Batman
Calamity Jan: [After Chief Standing Pat takes a puff from his cigar] That's how he talks. He said "It's a honor to meet you and I look forward to working with you."
Shame: You got all that with one puff?
Calamity Jan: He talks in shorthand.
Shame: You got all that with one puff?
Calamity Jan: He talks in shorthand.
TV Show: Batman
Fred: Your lack of coherence is exceeded only by your penchant for gibberish.
Shame: Why thank you kindly, Fred. That's awful nice of you to say.
Shame: Why thank you kindly, Fred. That's awful nice of you to say.
TV Show: Batman
[Shame pulls a gun out of his hat and points it at Batman, but Batman kicks it out of his hand.]
Shame: No, Batman! I'm sorry! I'd never...never think to...
Batman: Boo!
Shame: [hysterical, grabs Batman by the leg] No, Batman! No!
Batman: Oh, for shame, Shame, Shame, Shame! You're no outlaw, you're a sham, Shame! Don't you ever grab my tights or pull on my leg again!
Shame: No, Batman! I'm sorry! I'd never...never think to...
Batman: Boo!
Shame: [hysterical, grabs Batman by the leg] No, Batman! No!
Batman: Oh, for shame, Shame, Shame, Shame! You're no outlaw, you're a sham, Shame! Don't you ever grab my tights or pull on my leg again!
TV Show: Batman
Shame: When the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 11, that would be...
Calamity Jan: Eleven o'clock, Shame honey.
Shame: Eleven o'clock, Shame honey...doggone it, I know!
Calamity Jan: Eleven o'clock, Shame honey.
Shame: Eleven o'clock, Shame honey...doggone it, I know!
TV Show: Batman
Barbara: [lying on her bed talking to her pet parrot Charlie] It'd be a real joke on me Charlie, if Bruce Wayne indeed was Batman.
TV Show: Batman
Batman: It is the duty of every good citizen of Gotham City to report meeting a man from Mars in a public park.
TV Show: Batman
Joker: I wanted to rule the world from Mars! I like the looks of that place!
[Batman and Robin suddenly appear]
Batman: Yes, I think you'd be more comfortable there at the moment, Joker.
[Batman and Robin suddenly appear]
Batman: Yes, I think you'd be more comfortable there at the moment, Joker.
TV Show: Batman
Dr. Cassandra: You'd better watch out. I've got your number, Batman.
[Batgirl appears]
Batgirl: What about me? Do you have my number too?
Dr. Cassandra: Other women's numbers don't interest me, Batgirl.
Batman: Glad to have you flanking us, Batgirl.
Batgirl: I wouldn't miss it for anything!
Cabala: Looks like its pill time...
Dr. Cassandra: Keep your cool, love. The Tiresome Trio is about to really rock!
[Dr. Cassandra pulles out the Alvino Ray Gun]
Batman: A gun?
[Dr. Cassandra nods, smiling]
Batman: Aren't you above that sort of thing, Dr Cassandra? Nooooo style...
Dr. Cassandra: This is the kickiest weapon I've ever done, Batman! My own unpatented Alvino Ray Gun! And it's the last thing you're about to see!
Batman: What . . . are you doing . . . t-t-t-t-to our b-bodies?
Robin: Holy Helplessness!
Batgirl: I feel like I'm. . . getting . . . flat!
Cabala: What a pity...
[Batgirl appears]
Batgirl: What about me? Do you have my number too?
Dr. Cassandra: Other women's numbers don't interest me, Batgirl.
Batman: Glad to have you flanking us, Batgirl.
Batgirl: I wouldn't miss it for anything!
Cabala: Looks like its pill time...
Dr. Cassandra: Keep your cool, love. The Tiresome Trio is about to really rock!
[Dr. Cassandra pulles out the Alvino Ray Gun]
Batman: A gun?
[Dr. Cassandra nods, smiling]
Batman: Aren't you above that sort of thing, Dr Cassandra? Nooooo style...
Dr. Cassandra: This is the kickiest weapon I've ever done, Batman! My own unpatented Alvino Ray Gun! And it's the last thing you're about to see!
Batman: What . . . are you doing . . . t-t-t-t-to our b-bodies?
Robin: Holy Helplessness!
Batgirl: I feel like I'm. . . getting . . . flat!
Cabala: What a pity...
TV Show: Batman
[Robin looks at Batgirl.]
Robin: You know something, Batman?
Batman: What's that, Robin?
Robin: She looks very pretty when she's asleep.
Batman: I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum.
Robin: You know something, Batman?
Batman: What's that, Robin?
Robin: She looks very pretty when she's asleep.
Batman: I thought you might eventually notice that. That single statement indicates to me the first oncoming thrust of manhood, old chum.
TV Show: Batman
Robin: What happened to Batgirl?!
Batman: Who knows, Robin? Who ever knows?
[The last original scene of the series]
Batman: Who knows, Robin? Who ever knows?
[The last original scene of the series]
TV Show: Batman
Batman: Better put 5 cents in the meter.
Robin: No policeman's going to give the Batmobile a ticket.
Batman: This money goes to building better roads. We all must do our part.
Robin: No policeman's going to give the Batmobile a ticket.
Batman: This money goes to building better roads. We all must do our part.
TV Show: Batman
Robin: If we close our eyes, we can't see anything.
Batman: A sound observation, Robin.
Batman: A sound observation, Robin.
TV Show: Batman
Robin: How about rushing the place, Batman?
Batman: Shh. I think not, Robin. All they've done so far is stolen a few items, attempted to kill you, me, and Batgirl. No, I think they plan something really big.
Batman: Shh. I think not, Robin. All they've done so far is stolen a few items, attempted to kill you, me, and Batgirl. No, I think they plan something really big.
TV Show: Batman
Lisa: Would you like to come in for a glass of milk and cookies?
Bruce: I'm afraid it's rather late. Why, it's 10: 30!
Bruce: I'm afraid it's rather late. Why, it's 10: 30!
TV Show: Batman
Joker: Then, after I've gotten rid of Batman and Robin for good, I will rule the waves. Me, the Joker, king of the surf and all the surfers. Then, Gotham City! Later, the world!
TV Show: Batman
O'Hara: I'm sorry, Batman. We would have gotten here sooner, but when Commissioner Gordon told me to go to the Museum, I assumed he meant the wax museum.
Batman: That's alright, Chief O'Hara. Anyone could have made the same mistake.
Batman: That's alright, Chief O'Hara. Anyone could have made the same mistake.
TV Show: Batman