Beavis and Butt-Head Quotes
Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, do you think we're ever going to score?
Butt-head: Uh, I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-head: Butt dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-head: Uhhh... ass goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-head: Uh, yep.
Beavis: 'Cause, um, I just need to stop by his toolshed for a few minutes.
Butt-head: [giggles] Tool.
Beavis: Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
Butt-head: Uh, I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-head: Butt dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-head: Uhhh... ass goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-head: Uh, yep.
Beavis: 'Cause, um, I just need to stop by his toolshed for a few minutes.
Butt-head: [giggles] Tool.
Beavis: Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Dr. Floss: Now, tell me what you both see in these pictures here. [Shows them ink blots]
Butt-head: Uuuh... it's like this... dude, and he's... uh... uno, auditioning his finger puppets.
Beavis: Yeah, he's shining his helmet, heh heh.
Dr. Floss: Hmmm, I see. O.k., and this one?
Butt-head: Whoa, he's really correling the tad-poles!
Beavis: Yeah, heh heh, he's really peelin some chilis!
Dr. Floss: ...and this one? [shows a picture of a whole mass of ink]
Butt-head: Whoa, leave a little for next time dude!
Beavis: Yeah, heh heh, he's like... really having a tug-a-war with Cyclops!
Butt-head: Paper, or plastic, sir?
Dr. Floss: And how about... this one? [Shows an autographed picture of Julio]
Butt-head: Uhhh, that's just a bunch of weird shapes.
Butt-head: Uuuh... it's like this... dude, and he's... uh... uno, auditioning his finger puppets.
Beavis: Yeah, he's shining his helmet, heh heh.
Dr. Floss: Hmmm, I see. O.k., and this one?
Butt-head: Whoa, he's really correling the tad-poles!
Beavis: Yeah, heh heh, he's really peelin some chilis!
Dr. Floss: ...and this one? [shows a picture of a whole mass of ink]
Butt-head: Whoa, leave a little for next time dude!
Beavis: Yeah, heh heh, he's like... really having a tug-a-war with Cyclops!
Butt-head: Paper, or plastic, sir?
Dr. Floss: And how about... this one? [Shows an autographed picture of Julio]
Butt-head: Uhhh, that's just a bunch of weird shapes.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Mr. Van Driessen: OK, let's see, who hasn't gone yet? Beavis! Are you ready to inspire us with your report?
Butt-head: [awakens Beavis by slapping him] You're next, dillhole!
Mr. Van Driessen: Come on, Beavis! Stand up and tell us about the woman you admire the most!
Beavis: Um... oh yeah... OK.
Mr. Van Driessen: Go ahead! Reveal to us the identity of this profoundly influential female!
Beavis: Oh yeah! Um, uh... oh yeah. My mom!
Butt-head: You wuss.
Mr. Van Driessen: Butt-head, I hope your report is a little more wider in scope than Beavis's.
Butt-head: The woman I admire most, is... uh... Beavis's mom.
Butt-head: [awakens Beavis by slapping him] You're next, dillhole!
Mr. Van Driessen: Come on, Beavis! Stand up and tell us about the woman you admire the most!
Beavis: Um... oh yeah... OK.
Mr. Van Driessen: Go ahead! Reveal to us the identity of this profoundly influential female!
Beavis: Oh yeah! Um, uh... oh yeah. My mom!
Butt-head: You wuss.
Mr. Van Driessen: Butt-head, I hope your report is a little more wider in scope than Beavis's.
Butt-head: The woman I admire most, is... uh... Beavis's mom.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Stewart Stevenson: [watching Family Matters on Butt-Head's couch] Ha-ha-ha. C'mon over guys.
Butt-head: This sucks. I can't take it anymore.
Beavis: Yeah. Let's call his mom.
Butt-head: I already called ,like, [holds up five fingers]
Butt-head: this many times.
Beavis: Maybe his parents don't want him back.
Butt-head: [looks over at Stewart] Would you?
Butt-head: This sucks. I can't take it anymore.
Beavis: Yeah. Let's call his mom.
Butt-head: I already called ,like, [holds up five fingers]
Butt-head: this many times.
Beavis: Maybe his parents don't want him back.
Butt-head: [looks over at Stewart] Would you?
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Woman on TV: [in labor] Uhh! Give me another epidural, you moron! Don't you tell me I only feel pressure, I feel pain! Pain, you little turds! Ahh!
Beavis: [clutching stomach] Ah! Contraptions! Contraptions! Ah! It's coming out, I can feel it! AH! [runs to the bathroom]
Beavis: [clutching stomach] Ah! Contraptions! Contraptions! Ah! It's coming out, I can feel it! AH! [runs to the bathroom]
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
[Use the stick on the school's ventilation fan]
Beavis: Check it out, Butt-head. This is my wood.
Butt-head: No way. It's already twice as much big as it is. Let me show you. [takes the stick from Beavis and jams the fan with it]
Beavis: Check it out, Butt-head. This is my wood.
Butt-head: No way. It's already twice as much big as it is. Let me show you. [takes the stick from Beavis and jams the fan with it]
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
[Talking about a scat video]
Beavis: They should have a name for this kinda of music.
Butt-head: They already do, Beavis: crap.
Beavis: They should have a name for this kinda of music.
Butt-head: They already do, Beavis: crap.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
[They watch a Yanni video]
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis. This guy's your dad.
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis. This guy's your dad.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
[watching a music video]
Beavis: Hey Butthead, you know I'd like to kiss my ass.
Butt-head: Beavis, why the hell do you wanna kiss your ass?
Beavis: Cos I wanna see what my bunghole looks like. [he tries and falls of the couch]
Beavis: Hey Butthead, you know I'd like to kiss my ass.
Butt-head: Beavis, why the hell do you wanna kiss your ass?
Beavis: Cos I wanna see what my bunghole looks like. [he tries and falls of the couch]
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
[watching a Type O Negative video]
Butt-head: These guys remind me of Danzig and my butt.
Beavis: That's not very nice, Butt-Head.
Butt-head: Yeah it is. My butt rules!
Butt-head: These guys remind me of Danzig and my butt.
Beavis: That's not very nice, Butt-Head.
Butt-head: Yeah it is. My butt rules!
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: [about Kato Kaelin] You know, he seems like a great guy.
Butt-head: Yeah. He's the kind of guy you would call up and say, 'Hey, you're a great guy. Why don't you come on over and stay a while?'
Beavis: Yeah. Except he kind of looks like the ass-end of a dolphin.
Butt-head: Uh, yeah he kind of does.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: [as Cornholio] Do you have T.P. for my bunghole? I would hate for my holio to get polio.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: [shouts] Turds! Turds!
Butt-head: Where? I don't see any turds.
Beavis: Right there. In the middle of the circle he's riding his tricycle in.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: [watching a video with a girl in a tub] She doesn't wanna get up because she's got morning wood.
Butt-head: Uh... Beavis? I hope you were joking.
Beavis: [long pause] Uh... Oh yeah. That's pretty funny.
Butt-head: Dumbass!
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: Ah, shut up, Butt-Head! Keep that up, and I'm gon' put the smackdown on yo ass, biatch!
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: Have you seen my Bunghole? [In a Third world accent]
Beavis: My people; we are without Bungholes...
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: Hey Beavis, you know how sometimes we get a ride home from school, and there's all those dudes crammed together in the backseat?
Butt-head: Yeah, why?
Beavis: Um, heh heh, it is normal to get wood?
Butt-head: Beavis, you boner-popping pervert... it's not even normal to ASK!
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?
Butt-head: Beavis, it's not even normal to ask.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: I hope there's a human head inside!
Butt-head: Yeah. Or maybe a human butt.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: What?
Butt-head: Uh... I dunno, what?
Beavis: What the hell are you talking about?
Butt-head: Uh... I dunno. You're just a butt-knocker.
Beavis: Don't call me a butt-knocker, you SON OF A BITCH!
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Bradley Buzzcut: [throws a dodge ball at Butthead and hits him in the head and dazes him] Good head, Butthead!
Butt-head: Uh, thanks. Huh, huh.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Bradley Buzzcut: Shut up or I will kill you. Do you understand? Shut up or I will physically kill you.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Butt-head: [Beavis & Butthead after "sensitivity training"] How about a hug?
Beavis: Shut up! Or I'll wound your inner child! Heh hmmhh heh! And then I'll kick your ass!
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Butt-head: [watching Vanessa Williams video] Oooh, baby. Do that thing you do.
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head
Butt-head: Beavis, I told you I wasn't gonna let you touch the remote anymore. Now, give me that, buttknocker.
Beavis: No, way. And stop calling me buttknocker!
Butt-head: Give it here before I kick your buttknockering ass!
Beavis: Stop calling me that, Butt-head! Stop it!
Butt-head: Buttknocker!
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Shut up! I'm gonna kill you, Butt-head! I swear to go God, I'm gonna kill you!
Butt-head: You and what other buttknocker?
TV Show: Beavis and Butt-Head