Black Books Quotes
[After Manny foils Bernard's attempt to kill Benson]
Bernard: So you admit you deliberately stepped in front of the bullet?
Manny: [softly] Yes.
Bernard: And wantonly sprayed blood from your head wound across the shop?
Manny: [softly] Yes.
Bernard: Before going to waste time writhing around on an 'emergency operating table'?
Manny: [softly] Yes.
Bernard: [hands Manny an affidavit and a pen] Sign here. No wages for seven years. If it wasn't for you, that cat would be where he belongs: in Hell, being chased by giant mice!
Bernard: So you admit you deliberately stepped in front of the bullet?
Manny: [softly] Yes.
Bernard: And wantonly sprayed blood from your head wound across the shop?
Manny: [softly] Yes.
Bernard: Before going to waste time writhing around on an 'emergency operating table'?
Manny: [softly] Yes.
Bernard: [hands Manny an affidavit and a pen] Sign here. No wages for seven years. If it wasn't for you, that cat would be where he belongs: in Hell, being chased by giant mice!
TV Show: Black Books
Bernard: I tell you what, we are going to this party, because I'm trying to picture this "girl" who "likes you" and all I can see is you in a dress.
TV Show: Black Books
Bernard: And what am I supposed to do when you're doing the underpants charleston with this insane, blind tart?!
Manny: Why are you getting so angry?
Bernard: I can't help being angry when I'm furious.
Manny: Why are you getting so angry?
Bernard: I can't help being angry when I'm furious.
TV Show: Black Books
Fran: Bernard, why aren't you dancing?
Bernard: There's no music.
Fran: Well, sing us a song - you're Irish.
Bernard: There's no music.
Fran: Well, sing us a song - you're Irish.
TV Show: Black Books
Manny: She's nice.
Bernard: Oh, she's nice is she? Don't make me get sick into my own scorn. Does she play the viola, does she embroider, is she kind to the servants?
Bernard: Oh, she's nice is she? Don't make me get sick into my own scorn. Does she play the viola, does she embroider, is she kind to the servants?
TV Show: Black Books
Manny: Let's paaaar...
Bernard: [points his finger threateningly at Manny] DON'T YOU DARE USE THE WORD 'PARTY' AS A VERB IN THIS SHOP!!
Manny: Let's... poooootter along... in order to attend the party! [Bernard lowers his finger]
Bernard: [points his finger threateningly at Manny] DON'T YOU DARE USE THE WORD 'PARTY' AS A VERB IN THIS SHOP!!
Manny: Let's... poooootter along... in order to attend the party! [Bernard lowers his finger]
TV Show: Black Books
Manny: Fran, get the wine!
Bernard: What? [sees that there was alcohol in the house the whole time] Lies! Subterfuge! Seething corruption!
Bernard: What? [sees that there was alcohol in the house the whole time] Lies! Subterfuge! Seething corruption!
TV Show: Black Books
Bernard: What is this I'm drinking? It's disgusting. It's like a choc ice fell into a bottle of bleach. This is children's booze! What's yours?
Fran: Bludge. It's quite good actually. You don't even have to drink it. You just rub it on your hips and it eats right through to your liver.
Fran: Bludge. It's quite good actually. You don't even have to drink it. You just rub it on your hips and it eats right through to your liver.
TV Show: Black Books
Manny: (to Bernard) Would you like some beetroot liqueur? You can have it. You can have the whole bottle. Really, I mean it, you can have..nearly all of it...Go on, go ahead...WHOAA Don't go mad.
TV Show: Black Books