Blue Collar Quotes
Bill Engvall: I believe that the phrase time in a bottle refers to the amount of beer you can drink before last call.
Movie: Blue Collar
Bill Engvall: Remember chin-up bars in elementary school? Yeah, so do I. Fourth grade, me and my buddy got this idea, we would run our Stingray bikes through the chin-up bar, when we got to the bar, we would the grab the bar and let our bikes go and just swing there. 'Cause we're idiots. One day we were out on the playground, it had been raining. We didn't think metal got slick when it got wet. Never had cause to think that thought. We're straddling our bikes, trying to look cool, and I see these two little fifth grade girls by the swings. I turned to my buddy and said, Hey man, older women. [Grins]
Bill Engvall: I'll go first. Boy, I spun that knobby tire in the mud, I'm flying towards that chin-up bar, the banana seat's getting hot just from the wind blowing by it! I grabbed that wet pole, I let that bike go, my full wait hit the chin-up bar, I went, Thunk! Knocked out cold on the ground. My friend flips out. He runs across the street to my house where my mom's in bed sick with the flu, runs into her bedroom and screams, Bill's dead! About the time I came too, I saw a woman in her nightgown and panties run at me going, Waaaaaa! Boy I wish I had've died!
Bill Engvall: I'll go first. Boy, I spun that knobby tire in the mud, I'm flying towards that chin-up bar, the banana seat's getting hot just from the wind blowing by it! I grabbed that wet pole, I let that bike go, my full wait hit the chin-up bar, I went, Thunk! Knocked out cold on the ground. My friend flips out. He runs across the street to my house where my mom's in bed sick with the flu, runs into her bedroom and screams, Bill's dead! About the time I came too, I saw a woman in her nightgown and panties run at me going, Waaaaaa! Boy I wish I had've died!
Movie: Blue Collar
Jeff Foxworthy: [to Larry, after Larry picks at his guitar] How old are you?
Larry The Cable Guy: Old enough to learn how to play this song.
Bill Engvall: Wait, when is your birthday?
Larry The Cable Guy: February 17th.
Jeff Foxworthy: No, what year is your birthday?
Larry The Cable Guy: ...Every year.
Bill Engvall: [to Jeff] You asked.
Larry The Cable Guy: Old enough to learn how to play this song.
Bill Engvall: Wait, when is your birthday?
Larry The Cable Guy: February 17th.
Jeff Foxworthy: No, what year is your birthday?
Larry The Cable Guy: ...Every year.
Bill Engvall: [to Jeff] You asked.
Movie: Blue Collar
Larry the Cable Guy: [Larry notices a gray hair on his shirt] A gray hair. That can mean one of two things, either I'm gettin' old or I need to stop picking women up at bingo.
Movie: Blue Collar
Ron White: Theres this cruise ship and theres a magician that works on the ship and the captain had a parrot that liked to go to the show everynight. The parrot understood the show and since it could talk it would give away everything. ohh, he's puttin it in his sock bbbrrrrrrkkkkk he put it up his sleeve bbbrrrrrrkkkkk its in his hat bbbrrrrrrkkkkk. And the magician just hated this bird. and one night he just snapped and he pulled out a pistol and he shot the bird and the bird ducked and the bullet misses the bird and it hits a propane tane and blows the ship to a billion peices. the only survivors are the parrot and the magician and their floating out in the middle of the ocean on two little peices of wood and the parrot goes Alright i give up. Wheres the damn ship?
Movie: Blue Collar