Blue Heelers Quotes

[Jonesy tries to kiss Susie, but she pushes him away.]
Jonesy: Oh, Suse. I don't get it.
Susie: It's not you.
Jonesy: Well, I know you're not seeing anyone else. You are seeing someone else.
Susie: There's just something that I have to sort out.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Jonesy: Your mug half empty, mate?
Alex: Just, ah, contemplating the universe.
Jonesy: Is it a private conversation or can anyone join in?
Alex: When you think about it, you know, two bodies that have been revolving around each other for some time. Equal mass, although one may be thicker than the other...
Jonesy: Are you sure this is, ah, coffee you've been drinking?
Alex: Gravity...is a really powerful force of attraction, mate. I mean, these two bodies...they just, they just wanna crash into each other, but something's holding them back. Inertia, maybe? I dunno. But they're...locked in orbit. It could go on forever.
Jonesy: Sounds depressing.
Alex: It is. Get your act together, mate. Ask her out.
Jonesy: Who?
Alex: Who do you think?

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Alex: Do you reckon you could book a crow for speeding?

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Alex: That's not a very flattering way to talk about a lady.
Jonesy: Well, the lady's not interested.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Alex: Okay, Susie, where'd you hide them?
Susie: God, you're an insensitive bastard.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
[Susie leaves.]
Jonesy: Yeah, you're an idiot.
Alex: Well I guess that's marginally better than being a bastard.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Alex: Well, I'm stuffed too if it's any consolation.
Jonesy: Not really, no. Well, maybe just a little bit.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Jonesy: Impersonating ESD...what do you get for that?
Alex: I don't know, I don't think it's ever been done.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Jonesy: What happens when the real ESD show up and she mentions you?
Alex: Oh, God, we're stuffed.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Jonesy: Yeah, well, hindsight's 20/20, isn't it?

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Man: How do we know this is real. I could have done this in ten minutes on Photoshop.
Danny: You're just going to have to trust me.
Jonesy: Besides, if you hang around long enough, you can see it on the 6 o'clock news.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Mark: Yes, well I want world peace, Mr. Ross, but we don't always get what we want.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Danny: Trust, honour, family...rules for life.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Danny: Hey, remember...trust, honour, family always comes first.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Amy (of the voice recorder): How sensitive is that thing?
Alex: See that magpie over there?
Amy: Yeah...
Alex: It just farted.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Danny (to Jonesy): Butch is going to need someone to smack him into line every now and again. Just keep your hands off my wife.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Tom: That's the difference between us, Danny. I would never be in your shoes.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Tom: Three men dead in one shift is not a good look, Jones.
Jonesy: Even if they were all scum?

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Mark: Sir, Senior Sergeant Croydon is out of control.
Falcon-Price: Tell me something I don't know.
Mark: Yesterday he kept you out of the loop and sent Senior Constable Jones out on a very delicate assignment.
Falcon-Price: This would be Senior Constable 'Barking Mad' Jones.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Falcon-Price: This station has more cowboys than the cast of Oklahoma.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Falcon-Price: The Jurassic Age is over. The time of the dinosaurs has passed and mammals now rule the earth. You'd want to ask yourself what team you're on.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Tom: This time yesterday, we had four gangsters alive, well and operating. Today, three of them are dead and the other one is going down for murder. So what's the problem?
Falcon-Price: You.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Mark: We've got a tobacco farmer knocked on the head, six bales of tobacco missing.
Amy: Six bales...what's that worth?
PJ: Bootleg tobacco...seven grand a bale...
Amy: Forty-two big ones. I'm in the wrong job.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Amy: You should get your husband to the hospital, Mrs. Cole. He could have concussion.
Mrs. Cole: You spend your life at that hospital.
PJ: Now why didn't I marry a sympathetic woman like that?

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Alex: What do you do for a living, sir?
Brendan: Well, you just had a squiz in the back. What does it look like?
Alex: Well, you tell me.
Brendan: Long distance carrier, this job's furniture removal.
Alex: And who uses bales of tobacco as furniture?

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Joss: I'd rather get in trouble with the mafia.
Brendan: Well, by the look of you, you probably know all about them.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
PJ: Brendan has just won first prize for the greatest number of lies told in one sentence.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Brendan: So, how are things with the mafia?
Joss: That's twice you've made that remark. Wanna say it again? No.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Mark: There are guidelines, PJ, and they apply to all of us.
PJ: Even to the Boss?
Mark: Yeah, even to the Boss.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Amy: What are you getting at?
PJ: We came into the station, you must have seen him and you walked out again. You missed the initial interview and now you want to charge him. You haven't even talked to him.
Amy: You saying I lack objectivity?
PJ: I'm asking if you two have a history.
Amy: You just crossed the line, PJ. My history is my history and no one else's, full stop.

TV Show: Blue Heelers