Blue Heelers Quotes

Tom: Lock the prick up!

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Tom: Don’t you have a hanky?”

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Francis: Geez, you go to the toilet a lot.
Tom: Yeah? Well you don’t blow you nose enough!

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Joss: How do you know this kid anyway?
Tom: Bad luck.

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Tom: How old are you Kirby!?

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Alex: What do you want me to do? Carry him to school?
Francis: I weigh 72 kilos.
Alex: That's impressive!

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Susie: You guys know each other?
Tom: Yeah we were at the academy together.
Susie: Together?
Rex: Err, I’m older than I look.
Tom: And I’m…younger than I look...

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Rex: What the hell is that?
Tom: It looks like a Twistie sandwich!

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Amy: Ahh boss, your appointment – 15 minutes.
Tom: Yeah yeah, I’m on my way.
Amy: [surprised] Great!

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Francis: Are you gunna die?

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Jonesy: Boss? Everything okay?
Tom: What?
Jonesy: Like with you.
Tom: Why wouldn’t everything be okay?
Jonesy: I dunno mate you look a little crook. Why don’t you go see a doctor, go see Sophie!
Tom: When was the last time YOU went to see a doctor?
Jonesy: Can’t remember…but I’m not crook.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Tom: MY health is MY business, I don’t need YOU broadcasting your opinions to every man and his dog!
Amy: I haven’t said anything to anyone – not even a dog.
Tom: Then why would Jones of ALL people suddenly be suggesting I need to see a doctor?
Amy: Probably because ‘Blind Freddy’ could see that there’s something seriously wrong with you.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Amy: I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. It's none of my business. But if 'Jones of ALL people' can see it, then soon whatever's wrong with you is going to be everyone's business.

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Francis: Wow, a real police operation. Did I help?
Tom: No. You just got in the bloody way.

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Rory: You said I could take the next one, Jonesy!

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[Alex looks at Jonesy.]
Rory: Come on, Jonesy!
Jonesy: Alright, there you go mate.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
[Jonesy gives Rory the radio.]
Rory: Mt. Thomas 509 to VKC, we'll attend.
VKC: Thanks, Mt. Thomas 509.
Alex: You're only encouraging him.
Jonesy: Well, at least he got the call sign right!

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Old man (about Alex): That's no Sergeant!
Alex: Who the hell's this?
Joss: This is the guy that stole the perfume from the chemist.
Old man (about Alex): That's just a mannequin in a uniform!
Matt (holds up lingerie): And he'd also stolen these...
Joss (holds up dog collar and lead): And this...
Alex: What's he gonna do...EURGH! He's all yours.

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Old man's son: I'm sorry, Constable. Has he been difficult?
Matt: Well...he's been singing.

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Tom (to Alex): If you can't be a decent Sergeant, at least be a decent father!

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Alex: Come on, when was the last time you had something green?
Jonesy: Oh...last night. We had a packet of spearmint leaves, didn't we mate?
Alex: Eat your vegetables...Both of you!

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[Rory makes a disgusted look at Jonesy.]
Jonesy: Well, there's only one way I'm going to get through this.

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[Jonesy grabs a tomato sauce bottle and squirts it onto the vegetables.]
Jonesy: Beat the old dead horse...there you go, mate.

TV Show: Blue Heelers
[He hands the bottle to Rory. Rory smiles as he squirts sauce on his vegetables.]
Jonesy (to Alex): What?!

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Joss: Did he just skip?
Matt: Or his pacemaker did.

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[Old man goes into the old lady's house.]
Matt: Let's get him...
Joss (stops him): Nah, nah, nah. Hang on...it's not like he's gonna take all day.

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[Joss and Matt laugh. Scene cuts to them waiting bored under an umbrella.]
Joss: Well, he's got staying power, doesn't he?

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[Matt looks at Joss.]

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Matt: Oh, drop the act.
Old man (singing): Take me baaaack...
Matt: And no more singing!

TV Show: Blue Heelers
Old man's son: Didn't you say she had acute angina?

TV Show: Blue Heelers