Bones Quotes
Cam: Would it be insensitive to mention that my father's sixtieth birthday is coming up?
Booth: Sixty already? Wow.
Cam: Uh-huh. We're having a big birthday dinner for him on Thursday night.
Booth: All right. You give him my best.
Cam: You can do it yourself. You have to come with me.
Booth: What? No. Not your family.
Cam: I can't spend the night defending the fact that I still live alone to my family.
Booth: You never told them we broke up?
Cam: You want to make a man miserable on his sixtieth birthday?
Booth: You want me to pretend that I'm your boyfriend?
Cam: Yes, between 6: 30 and 10 on Thursday.
Booth: Ugh. Camille, you're an adult. You can't live your life afraid of what your family thinks.
Cam: Seeley, it's not going to be like this forever. (brightly) One day he'll die!
Booth: Sixty already? Wow.
Cam: Uh-huh. We're having a big birthday dinner for him on Thursday night.
Booth: All right. You give him my best.
Cam: You can do it yourself. You have to come with me.
Booth: What? No. Not your family.
Cam: I can't spend the night defending the fact that I still live alone to my family.
Booth: You never told them we broke up?
Cam: You want to make a man miserable on his sixtieth birthday?
Booth: You want me to pretend that I'm your boyfriend?
Cam: Yes, between 6: 30 and 10 on Thursday.
Booth: Ugh. Camille, you're an adult. You can't live your life afraid of what your family thinks.
Cam: Seeley, it's not going to be like this forever. (brightly) One day he'll die!
TV Show: Bones
Aldridge: Why am I talking to you?
Brennan: What time did you leave the Jeffersonian that night?
Aldridge: Shortly after 11. Dr. Brennan, surely I merit someone higher up on the food chain than an FBI consultant.
Brennan: Kyle, I know you get everything you want by flaunting your superior intellect. But that won't work with me.
Aldridge: Why is that?
Brennan: Because I'm smarter than you are.
Brennan: What time did you leave the Jeffersonian that night?
Aldridge: Shortly after 11. Dr. Brennan, surely I merit someone higher up on the food chain than an FBI consultant.
Brennan: Kyle, I know you get everything you want by flaunting your superior intellect. But that won't work with me.
Aldridge: Why is that?
Brennan: Because I'm smarter than you are.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: I know your password too. It's daffodil.
Brennan: I never told you that!
Booth: What, I got eyes! I mean, you guys aren't exactly CIA material.
Hodgins: Daffodil?
Brennan: What, they're pretty. And I'm changing my password.
Booth: Daisy.
Brennan: How did you know?
Booth: It's your second-favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet! [Bones enters another password] Jupiter! [Brennan looks shocked]
Brennan: I never told you that!
Booth: What, I got eyes! I mean, you guys aren't exactly CIA material.
Hodgins: Daffodil?
Brennan: What, they're pretty. And I'm changing my password.
Booth: Daisy.
Brennan: How did you know?
Booth: It's your second-favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet! [Bones enters another password] Jupiter! [Brennan looks shocked]
TV Show: Bones
Felicia: Why didn't you tell me you guys split up?
Cam: You want him? Take him. I don't care.
Felicia: I don't want him.
Booth: You don't?
Felicia: [to Cam] No. I was just trying to get back at you for being so perfect all the time.
Cam: So you admit it.
Felicia: Like you're a saint? [to Booth] She used to go into my closet with all my dolls and say that they were having a party, but that I wasn't invited.
Cam: You were five, and they did not like you.
Cam: You want him? Take him. I don't care.
Felicia: I don't want him.
Booth: You don't?
Felicia: [to Cam] No. I was just trying to get back at you for being so perfect all the time.
Cam: So you admit it.
Felicia: Like you're a saint? [to Booth] She used to go into my closet with all my dolls and say that they were having a party, but that I wasn't invited.
Cam: You were five, and they did not like you.
TV Show: Bones
Zack: I had a Michael Jackson glove. I've never mentioned that before.
Hodgins: I loved Chevy Chase. We all have our crosses to bear.
Hodgins: I loved Chevy Chase. We all have our crosses to bear.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: This is crazy. It's — it's not right. Tell him that it's not right.
Brennan: Is it?
Booth: Oh! You're on his side. Why don't you go play Voltron with him?
Brennan: Is it?
Booth: Oh! You're on his side. Why don't you go play Voltron with him?
TV Show: Bones
Booth: So this girl, she had this game where she would ask me a question -
Brennan: What kind of question?
Booth: It doesn't matter, okay? So if I got the question wrong, I'd have to take off a piece of my clothing. So of course I knew all the answers, but I pretended that I didn't.
Brennan: So you could take off your clothes.
Booth: Exactly. Now, my point is, I'm standing there, you know, in my socks and my St. Christopher medal, and she runs off. She runs off with the sleeping bag and all my clothes and I'm standing there starko.
Brennan: Well, why would she do that?
Booth: Well, I suppose she heard I was under the bleachers with another girl the week before.
Brennan: Okay. This is a story about sexual prowess, Booth. You're bragging!
Booth: [laughs] I had to run across the campus buck naked!
Brennan: You're laughing about it now! You enjoyed displaying your penis. It showed alpha male mastery.
Brennan: What kind of question?
Booth: It doesn't matter, okay? So if I got the question wrong, I'd have to take off a piece of my clothing. So of course I knew all the answers, but I pretended that I didn't.
Brennan: So you could take off your clothes.
Booth: Exactly. Now, my point is, I'm standing there, you know, in my socks and my St. Christopher medal, and she runs off. She runs off with the sleeping bag and all my clothes and I'm standing there starko.
Brennan: Well, why would she do that?
Booth: Well, I suppose she heard I was under the bleachers with another girl the week before.
Brennan: Okay. This is a story about sexual prowess, Booth. You're bragging!
Booth: [laughs] I had to run across the campus buck naked!
Brennan: You're laughing about it now! You enjoyed displaying your penis. It showed alpha male mastery.
TV Show: Bones
Cam: A toothless cannibal just can't cut it in today's competitive serial killer climate.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: [telling about an embarrassing episode from high school] So this kid, right, we're walking past and he calls us Philistines. You know what that means, right?
Brennan: Yes, an uneducated person.
Booth: Well, I didn't. I said, "Hey, I'm not Philistine, I'm Catholic."
Brennan: [chuckles] Okay, that's sort of embarrassing.
Booth: [serious] That's not the embarrassing part. My friend, he hangs the kid over the stairwell by his ankles. I laughed, Bones. I should have protected him, and I laughed.
Brennan: Yes, an uneducated person.
Booth: Well, I didn't. I said, "Hey, I'm not Philistine, I'm Catholic."
Brennan: [chuckles] Okay, that's sort of embarrassing.
Booth: [serious] That's not the embarrassing part. My friend, he hangs the kid over the stairwell by his ankles. I laughed, Bones. I should have protected him, and I laughed.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: You know, evolution is long, long process. It takes hundreds of years.
Brennan: Thousands.
Booth: Why do you always have to correct me?
Brennan: To help you evolve.
Brennan: Thousands.
Booth: Why do you always have to correct me?
Brennan: To help you evolve.
TV Show: Bones
Cam: Dr. Brennan looked a little hurt when I told her you asked me to come out here instead of her.
Booth: No. Bones's feelings, they don't get hurt. She's not like you.
Cam: Like me?
Booth: Yeah. A girl.
Cam: Yeah. The word you're looking for is "woman," who, incidentally, makes more money than you.
Booth: Touchy!
Cam: What can I say? I'm just a girl with feelings.
Booth: No. Bones's feelings, they don't get hurt. She's not like you.
Cam: Like me?
Booth: Yeah. A girl.
Cam: Yeah. The word you're looking for is "woman," who, incidentally, makes more money than you.
Booth: Touchy!
Cam: What can I say? I'm just a girl with feelings.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: I can't freak out every time somebody Googles me.
Booth: Cam, she goes nowhere alone.
Brennan: Cam, don't listen to him.
Booth: Cam, who are you more afraid of, me or her?
Brennan: Booth—
Cam: Whoa! [holds up a hand] So this is what it's like to be a kindergarten teacher.
Booth: Cam, she goes nowhere alone.
Brennan: Cam, don't listen to him.
Booth: Cam, who are you more afraid of, me or her?
Brennan: Booth—
Cam: Whoa! [holds up a hand] So this is what it's like to be a kindergarten teacher.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: My idea of art is a half-naked woman on the side of a van.
Sweets: That's interesting.
Booth: No, it's not interesting, Sweets, 'cause it was a joke.
Sweets: That's interesting.
Booth: No, it's not interesting, Sweets, 'cause it was a joke.
TV Show: Bones
Sweets: It's awesome! It's like the Sith Lords, man. There's always only two of them.
Booth: Did you just Star Wars us?
Booth: Did you just Star Wars us?
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: There are levels of bad guy, Russ, and you’re not even on the first level.
Russ: Why do I feel like you just called me a sissy?
Russ: Why do I feel like you just called me a sissy?
TV Show: Bones
Hodgins: [to Angela] Our victim... was kicked by a reindeer.
Angela: Oh. Get the hell outta here!
Zack: [points to a screen] The sacrum.
Angela: Wait. The evidence actually adds up to an old, fat man with a white beard, in a custom-made Santa suit who smoked a clay pipe and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer?
Angela: Oh. Get the hell outta here!
Zack: [points to a screen] The sacrum.
Angela: Wait. The evidence actually adds up to an old, fat man with a white beard, in a custom-made Santa suit who smoked a clay pipe and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer?
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Where did he work?
Ralph: Uh, employment agency called Temp Time. On 7th, by the Convention Center.
Booth: Ha! Couldn't have been Santa!
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Because Santa wouldn't have worked at a temp agency!
Brennan: Well, why not? His work is seasonal.
Ralph: Uh, employment agency called Temp Time. On 7th, by the Convention Center.
Booth: Ha! Couldn't have been Santa!
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Because Santa wouldn't have worked at a temp agency!
Brennan: Well, why not? His work is seasonal.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: No. It's not a lie lie, Bones. It's more like everybody agreeing that, up to a certain age, kids deserve to live a different kind of truth.
Brennan: Okay. By that reasoning, what we should do is figure out a lie Russ could tell the girls so they wouldn't know he's in jail.
Booth: That is a brilliant Christmas idea.
Brennan: It was intended to be a scathing and incisive comment.
Brennan: Okay. By that reasoning, what we should do is figure out a lie Russ could tell the girls so they wouldn't know he's in jail.
Booth: That is a brilliant Christmas idea.
Brennan: It was intended to be a scathing and incisive comment.
TV Show: Bones
Caroline: I want you to kiss him under some mistletoe.
Brennan: Kiss Booth?
Caroline: That's right, cherie.
Brennan: Why?
Caroline: Because it will amuse me.
Brennan: Why?
Caroline: Because the two of you are all "Dr. Brennan" and "Special Agent Seeley Booth," and it's Christmas, and I have a puckish side that will not be denied.
Brennan: Puckish?
Caroline: What's the matter? You don't think I can be puckish?
Brennan: I never thought about it until now.
Caroline: You want me to write that letter, you kiss Booth, on the lips, for [counting] one steamboat, two steamboats...five steamboats.
Brennan: That's blackmail!
Caroline: That's correct.
Brennan: That's unethical.
Caroline: That's the deal, cherie. Take it or leave it.
Brennan: Kiss Booth?
Caroline: That's right, cherie.
Brennan: Why?
Caroline: Because it will amuse me.
Brennan: Why?
Caroline: Because the two of you are all "Dr. Brennan" and "Special Agent Seeley Booth," and it's Christmas, and I have a puckish side that will not be denied.
Brennan: Puckish?
Caroline: What's the matter? You don't think I can be puckish?
Brennan: I never thought about it until now.
Caroline: You want me to write that letter, you kiss Booth, on the lips, for [counting] one steamboat, two steamboats...five steamboats.
Brennan: That's blackmail!
Caroline: That's correct.
Brennan: That's unethical.
Caroline: That's the deal, cherie. Take it or leave it.
TV Show: Bones
[Angela calls Brennan's phone; her voicemail answers.]
Brennan: Hi. Technically you have not reached Temperance Brennan; but if you leave a message, it will reach her. Me. Temperance Brennan.
Brennan: Hi. Technically you have not reached Temperance Brennan; but if you leave a message, it will reach her. Me. Temperance Brennan.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Booth, who is a very honest person, says that at this time of year deception is necessary for the happiness of little children.
Booth: I'm being misquoted.
Sweets: Booth is absolutely right.
Booth: She got the gist.
Sweets: There is a fictional element to Christmas.
Brennan: You mean the whole "birth of a Savior" rigmarole?
Booth: It is not rigmarole!
Sweets: No, Dr. Brennan, it's the feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit. It's a kind of dream or hope we carry with us from childhood. But as adults—
Booth: Are you including you in that?
Sweets: As adults we're imbued by the pragmatic routines of daily life, which make it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But, you know, it's all right for us to try. We put on silly hats, drape trees in sparkly lights and wrap gifts in garish paper, and that's good for us. It's not only all right to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility.
Brennan: Okay.
Booth: Okay?
Brennan: I found that very helpful.
Booth: That's what I've been saying the last four days!
Booth: I'm being misquoted.
Sweets: Booth is absolutely right.
Booth: She got the gist.
Sweets: There is a fictional element to Christmas.
Brennan: You mean the whole "birth of a Savior" rigmarole?
Booth: It is not rigmarole!
Sweets: No, Dr. Brennan, it's the feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit. It's a kind of dream or hope we carry with us from childhood. But as adults—
Booth: Are you including you in that?
Sweets: As adults we're imbued by the pragmatic routines of daily life, which make it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But, you know, it's all right for us to try. We put on silly hats, drape trees in sparkly lights and wrap gifts in garish paper, and that's good for us. It's not only all right to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility.
Brennan: Okay.
Booth: Okay?
Brennan: I found that very helpful.
Booth: That's what I've been saying the last four days!
TV Show: Bones
Sheriff: [to Booth] Is she serious about the mud?
Brennan: As serious as a gas attack.
Booth: Heart attack, Bones. As serious as a heart attack.
Brennan: As serious as a gas attack.
Booth: Heart attack, Bones. As serious as a heart attack.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: What a shock for that couple. I mean, they slide naked into the hot mud bath and a skeleton hand pokes her in the, you know—
Brennan: Anus.
Booth: Bones!
Brennan: What? It's a clinical term for that part of the body, Booth.
Sweets: Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth, would it be fair to say that you use work to avoid confronting personal issues?
Booth: Why? Because I don't wanna talk about, you know—
Brennan: The anus.
Booth: You really like that word, don't you?
Sweets: Do you two ever discuss anything that's not attached to work?
Booth: Well, it's better than talking about, you know—
Sweets: The anus?
Booth: What is it with you two?
Brennan: Anus.
Booth: Bones!
Brennan: What? It's a clinical term for that part of the body, Booth.
Sweets: Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth, would it be fair to say that you use work to avoid confronting personal issues?
Booth: Why? Because I don't wanna talk about, you know—
Brennan: The anus.
Booth: You really like that word, don't you?
Sweets: Do you two ever discuss anything that's not attached to work?
Booth: Well, it's better than talking about, you know—
Sweets: The anus?
Booth: What is it with you two?
TV Show: Bones
Booth: You know, you can play the field... and not plow it.
Brennan: That was distasteful.
Brennan: That was distasteful.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Doctor Sweets says that you work with tropical fish.
April: Yes, I lo-ove fish. They're just like people.
Brennan: No, no, they're not. Actually, people can't breathe under water.
April: She's funny.
Brennan: I am? Wha– ? Why is that funny?
Booth: I don't think she meant that literally, Bones.
Brennan: Oh.
April: You look in their eyes and you can see their little souls. It's in every part of their coloring.
Brennan: Fish don't have souls.
Sweets: [obviously trying to end the conversation gracefully] April just means they're pretty.
April: [starting to get angry] Don't tell me what I mean, Lance. [To Brennan] What I meant was, we're all made up of the same stuff; that makes us human.
Brennan: Well, on a quantum level, that's true. Although the word "stuff" is not accurate.
April: [To Sweets] See?
Sweets: [shocked] O-okay.
April: He kills about a million people a night!
Sweets: In a video game.
April: Yes, I lo-ove fish. They're just like people.
Brennan: No, no, they're not. Actually, people can't breathe under water.
April: She's funny.
Brennan: I am? Wha– ? Why is that funny?
Booth: I don't think she meant that literally, Bones.
Brennan: Oh.
April: You look in their eyes and you can see their little souls. It's in every part of their coloring.
Brennan: Fish don't have souls.
Sweets: [obviously trying to end the conversation gracefully] April just means they're pretty.
April: [starting to get angry] Don't tell me what I mean, Lance. [To Brennan] What I meant was, we're all made up of the same stuff; that makes us human.
Brennan: Well, on a quantum level, that's true. Although the word "stuff" is not accurate.
April: [To Sweets] See?
Sweets: [shocked] O-okay.
April: He kills about a million people a night!
Sweets: In a video game.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Your friend's name Garth Jodrey?
Tim: How'd you know that?
Booth: [points to the name plaque on his desk] Special Agent Seeley Booth. Special.
Tim: How'd you know that?
Booth: [points to the name plaque on his desk] Special Agent Seeley Booth. Special.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: I thought you said you were just going to talk to him!
Booth: Yeah, well, I saw his face and I got mad.
Booth: Yeah, well, I saw his face and I got mad.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Is she crying because she loved him, or because she lost a mansion?
Booth: [mouths] The mansion.
Booth: [mouths] The mansion.
TV Show: Bones