Bones Quotes
Brennan: Coochie-coo? [The baby cries.] Oh, no, no! No need to fuss! Obviously something is upsetting you. Children have toys. You must have some. Let me see [finds a purple elephant in the diaper bag, holds it up to the baby] You know, elephants are not purple. This is wrong.
TV Show: Bones
[Brennan is trying to coax a child not to cry.]
Brennan: Dancing phalanges! Dancing phalanges! [waggles her fingers in front of the baby] I know Booth thinks bones are dry and boring but... Show me your phalanges! [The baby uncurls one fist in a little wave.]
Brennan: Dancing phalanges! Dancing phalanges! [waggles her fingers in front of the baby] I know Booth thinks bones are dry and boring but... Show me your phalanges! [The baby uncurls one fist in a little wave.]
TV Show: Bones
Booth: You know, you look very mom-like with that baby monitor.
Brennan: I have a responsibility under state law as a foster parent. I've already bought him toys and clothes.
Booth: Ah. So you’ve bought him some clothes?
Brennan: Well, I sent an intern, who apparently loves bears, which in reality would devour a small child.
Brennan: I have a responsibility under state law as a foster parent. I've already bought him toys and clothes.
Booth: Ah. So you’ve bought him some clothes?
Brennan: Well, I sent an intern, who apparently loves bears, which in reality would devour a small child.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Strontium is an element found in most rocks.
Hodgins: Human beings absorb it through the consumption of local vegetation and water. Over time the isotope collects in the bones, meaning—
Booth: You could use it to figure out where someone's from. [Brennan and Hodgins look shocked.] That's right, people. I am a constant surprise.
Hodgins: Human beings absorb it through the consumption of local vegetation and water. Over time the isotope collects in the bones, meaning—
Booth: You could use it to figure out where someone's from. [Brennan and Hodgins look shocked.] That's right, people. I am a constant surprise.
TV Show: Bones
Sweets: Dr. Brennan, everyone you work with, including your therapist—
Booth: Former therapist.
Sweets: —is endeavoring to imprison your father. That's wicked stressful.
Brennan: Booth is right. It doesn't bother me.
Sweets: No, Booth is wrong. Yes, it does.
Booth: Former therapist.
Sweets: —is endeavoring to imprison your father. That's wicked stressful.
Brennan: Booth is right. It doesn't bother me.
Sweets: No, Booth is wrong. Yes, it does.
TV Show: Bones
Max: Oh, he’s a full-grown scientist?
Clark: I shave, sir. I have a driver’s license. I've won a couple fist fights. I've saved a life. I've lain with women. I've been hustled at pool. I've defied my father’s wishes. I have broken hearts and I have been heartbroken. So, by all the markers of this society, I am a grown man.
Max: Oh. You've "lain with women"?
Russ: Is he gonna talk like that at Dad’s trial?
Clark: I shave, sir. I have a driver’s license. I've won a couple fist fights. I've saved a life. I've lain with women. I've been hustled at pool. I've defied my father’s wishes. I have broken hearts and I have been heartbroken. So, by all the markers of this society, I am a grown man.
Max: Oh. You've "lain with women"?
Russ: Is he gonna talk like that at Dad’s trial?
TV Show: Bones
Caroline: [to Booth] Lose the "Cocky" belt buckle. [to Hodgins]] No badges saying "Resist authority" or "The truth is out there." [to Zack] Do not cut your own hair the day before the trial. [to Angela] Ugly up a little. The plain women on the jury hate you. [to Sweets] Use your fully grown-up words. [to Cam] Eat. Last time, your stomach was growling louder than your testimony.
TV Show: Bones
Angela: Sweetie, this is one of those times when I know what's right and everybody else is confused.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Okay. You're not Dr. Brennan today. You're Temperance.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: The scientist part of you got sidelined temporarily.
Brennan: I still don't know what that means.
Booth: Bones, just, take the brain, okay, put it in neutral. All right? Take the heart, pop it into overdrive. [makes engine noises and mimes driving a race car]
Brennan: [smiles] Sometimes I think you're from another planet. [laughs] And sometimes I think you're really very nice.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: The scientist part of you got sidelined temporarily.
Brennan: I still don't know what that means.
Booth: Bones, just, take the brain, okay, put it in neutral. All right? Take the heart, pop it into overdrive. [makes engine noises and mimes driving a race car]
Brennan: [smiles] Sometimes I think you're from another planet. [laughs] And sometimes I think you're really very nice.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Does Tommy share your affection?
Pam: Why do you ask it like that? Because I don't look like a scarecrow? [to Booth] Like her?
Brennan: Hey. Wha- what are you coming after me for? [to Booth] Do- do I look like a scarecrow?
Pam: Why do you ask it like that? Because I don't look like a scarecrow? [to Booth] Like her?
Brennan: Hey. Wha- what are you coming after me for? [to Booth] Do- do I look like a scarecrow?
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Until I was thirteen, I wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper.
Booth: I'd say you're kidding, but I don't think you know how to kid.
Brennan: The other girls and I referred to her as "rad." [laughs] My mother said I sang just as well.
Booth: As well as Cyndi Lauper?
Brennan: Yes.
Sweets: Mothers do that. It's healthy.
Brennan: No, it wasn't just flattery. My mother told me I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" better than she did.
Sweets: It was an expression of affection, Dr. Brennan, not an objective evaluation of your abilities.
Brennan: Well, I think you're wrong.
Booth: Okay then, go ahead, belt it out.
Brennan: No!
Sweets: Yeah, come on. Give us a few bars.
Booth: Come on...
Brennan: I can't just burst into song. I have to have music and an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.
Booth: Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, better than Cyndi Lauper...
Booth: I'd say you're kidding, but I don't think you know how to kid.
Brennan: The other girls and I referred to her as "rad." [laughs] My mother said I sang just as well.
Booth: As well as Cyndi Lauper?
Brennan: Yes.
Sweets: Mothers do that. It's healthy.
Brennan: No, it wasn't just flattery. My mother told me I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" better than she did.
Sweets: It was an expression of affection, Dr. Brennan, not an objective evaluation of your abilities.
Brennan: Well, I think you're wrong.
Booth: Okay then, go ahead, belt it out.
Brennan: No!
Sweets: Yeah, come on. Give us a few bars.
Booth: Come on...
Brennan: I can't just burst into song. I have to have music and an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.
Booth: Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, better than Cyndi Lauper...
TV Show: Bones
Sweets: Mocking will not change my opinion. I have been mocked many, many times before. That came out wrong.
TV Show: Bones
Zack: My regimen is easily completed in my apartment. Treadmill for 30 minutes, 100 sit-ups, push-ups and leg-lifts, and then 20 minutes of free weights. I'm deceptively strong.
Cam: I am deceived.
Cam: I am deceived.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Hey! Break down the door!
Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door!
Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door!
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: I knew I shouldn't have gone to that funeral. It was a complete waste of time, just like I said.
Booth: Wait a second. You thought that my funeral was a waste of time?
Cam: I thought it was a lovely service, Booth.
Booth: Thank you! You know, I expected to see more people though...
Hodgins: I always imagined a lot of ex-girlfriends crying.
Booth: Yeah. Me, too.
Angela: You guys are pathetic.
Brennan: [to Booth] Just know I won't be attending your next funeral.
Booth: Wait a second. You thought that my funeral was a waste of time?
Cam: I thought it was a lovely service, Booth.
Booth: Thank you! You know, I expected to see more people though...
Hodgins: I always imagined a lot of ex-girlfriends crying.
Booth: Yeah. Me, too.
Angela: You guys are pathetic.
Brennan: [to Booth] Just know I won't be attending your next funeral.
TV Show: Bones
[Brennan walks in on Booth in the tub.]
Brennan: I need to talk to you!
Booth: Okay, what the hell, Bones? I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did you get in here, anyway?
Brennan: Well, that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. But why are you—
Brennan: And that cigar? Very unhealthy.
Booth: Okay. What the hell do you want now, Bones, 'cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed.
Brennan: You should have told me that you weren't dead.
Booth: I already explained this to you. The Bureau has to vet everyone when there's a security issue. I was just following protocol!
Brennan: Protocol?
Booth: Yes!
Brennan: We've been partners for three years, Booth, and you've broken protocol before! Sometimes putting my life in danger, which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me!
Booth: (stands) I took a bullet for you!
Brennan: Once! That only goes so far! (pause) Would you like a towel?
Brennan: I need to talk to you!
Booth: Okay, what the hell, Bones? I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did you get in here, anyway?
Brennan: Well, that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. But why are you—
Brennan: And that cigar? Very unhealthy.
Booth: Okay. What the hell do you want now, Bones, 'cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed.
Brennan: You should have told me that you weren't dead.
Booth: I already explained this to you. The Bureau has to vet everyone when there's a security issue. I was just following protocol!
Brennan: Protocol?
Booth: Yes!
Brennan: We've been partners for three years, Booth, and you've broken protocol before! Sometimes putting my life in danger, which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me!
Booth: (stands) I took a bullet for you!
Brennan: Once! That only goes so far! (pause) Would you like a towel?
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Bones broke into my house last night.
Brennan: There was a key!
Booth: All angry because nobody told her that I was dead. And I was just following protocol!
Sweets: Broke into your house?
Brennan: There was a key.
Booth: And barged into my bathroom.
Sweets: What were you doing?
Brennan: He was drinking beer and reading a comic book.
Booth: I was taking a bath!
Sweets: You read comics and drink beer naked?
Booth: Wait a minute. Bones bursts into my bathroom, all right, and I'm weird for being naked?
Brennan: There was a key!
Booth: All angry because nobody told her that I was dead. And I was just following protocol!
Sweets: Broke into your house?
Brennan: There was a key.
Booth: And barged into my bathroom.
Sweets: What were you doing?
Brennan: He was drinking beer and reading a comic book.
Booth: I was taking a bath!
Sweets: You read comics and drink beer naked?
Booth: Wait a minute. Bones bursts into my bathroom, all right, and I'm weird for being naked?
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: [confronting Sweets in an angry whisper] You think I don't recognize an experiment when I see one? You experimented on us.
Sweets: Beg your pardon?
Brennan: Not telling me Booth was alive, you wanted to quantify our reactions for your own research. You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats, so you better cut it out.
Sweets: Dr. Brennan, why are you talking so fast?
Brennan: Because if Booth hears why you did what you did, he'd beat you up.
Sweets: Don't you think that would be an overly aggressive act?
Brennan: Not at all. So you better not do it again.
Sweets: Beg your pardon?
Brennan: Not telling me Booth was alive, you wanted to quantify our reactions for your own research. You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats, so you better cut it out.
Sweets: Dr. Brennan, why are you talking so fast?
Brennan: Because if Booth hears why you did what you did, he'd beat you up.
Sweets: Don't you think that would be an overly aggressive act?
Brennan: Not at all. So you better not do it again.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: I've always been proud of you, Zack. I've never met anyone more rational and intelligent. But there's a fault in your logic.
Zack Addy: With all due respect, you aren't cognizant of his logic.
Brennan: Assumption number one: Secret societies exists.
Zack Addy: Accepted. Hodgins has been explaining this to me for years.
Brennan: Assumption number two: The human experience is adversely affected by secret societies.
Zack Addy: Accepted.
Brennan: Assumption number three: Attacking and killing members of secret societies will have ameliorating affect on the human experience.
Zack Addy: Accepted.
Brennan: All of your assumptions are built on a first principle, Zack. To wit, the historical human experience as a whole is more important than a single person's life.
Zack Addy: Yes.
Brennan: Yet, you risked it all so you wouldn't hurt Hodgins.
[Brennan moves closer to Zack and touches her forehead with his as both their eyes tears up.]
Zack Addy: There's... You're correct. There's an inconsistency in my reasoning.
Zack Addy: With all due respect, you aren't cognizant of his logic.
Brennan: Assumption number one: Secret societies exists.
Zack Addy: Accepted. Hodgins has been explaining this to me for years.
Brennan: Assumption number two: The human experience is adversely affected by secret societies.
Zack Addy: Accepted.
Brennan: Assumption number three: Attacking and killing members of secret societies will have ameliorating affect on the human experience.
Zack Addy: Accepted.
Brennan: All of your assumptions are built on a first principle, Zack. To wit, the historical human experience as a whole is more important than a single person's life.
Zack Addy: Yes.
Brennan: Yet, you risked it all so you wouldn't hurt Hodgins.
[Brennan moves closer to Zack and touches her forehead with his as both their eyes tears up.]
Zack Addy: There's... You're correct. There's an inconsistency in my reasoning.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: In fact, taking a right turn on a red light here is the equivalent of turning left in the wrong lane at home.
Booth: I'm turning right. [takes a right turn and almost hits a bus, stops the Mini in the middle of an intersection and gets out of the car, screaming] I hate England! I hate London! I'm glad we had a revolution!
Booth: I'm turning right. [takes a right turn and almost hits a bus, stops the Mini in the middle of an intersection and gets out of the car, screaming] I hate England! I hate London! I'm glad we had a revolution!
TV Show: Bones
WEXLER: Inspector Pritchard, meet Dr. Brennan.
PRITCHARD: Charming
WEXLER: She’s exactly like me.
PRITCHARD: Charming, tenacious, salacious, sophomoric, euphoric, noble, ignoble, fatuous, horrid, morbid, torpid and tedious.
WEXLER: Flattery will get you absolutely nowhere, Cate. So you found Portia Frampton?
PRITCHARD: Well, the way we usually work, Ian, is I drag the bodies out of the Thames and you use your extraordinary capabilities to identify them.
BOOTH: Bones! They’re like the English version of me and you.
PRITCHARD: Charming
WEXLER: She’s exactly like me.
PRITCHARD: Charming, tenacious, salacious, sophomoric, euphoric, noble, ignoble, fatuous, horrid, morbid, torpid and tedious.
WEXLER: Flattery will get you absolutely nowhere, Cate. So you found Portia Frampton?
PRITCHARD: Well, the way we usually work, Ian, is I drag the bodies out of the Thames and you use your extraordinary capabilities to identify them.
BOOTH: Bones! They’re like the English version of me and you.
TV Show: Bones
[Booth tries to get out of the Mini Cooper.]
Booth: Ahh! Getting out of this thing is like being born!
Booth: Ahh! Getting out of this thing is like being born!
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Every man in this country would like to sleep with you.
Brennan: Are you being nice to me or awful to the British men?
Brennan: Are you being nice to me or awful to the British men?
TV Show: Bones
Pritchard: Oh, I am not the jealous sort, and you are painfully naïve if you think my sex life was limited to Ian, as I’m sure yours was not.
Brennan: But I didn’t sleep with Ian.
Pritchard: You didn’t?
Brennan: No.
Pritchard: Why not? You obviously fancied each other.
Brennan: Yes, I noted several physiological responses to his presence which can only be explained by sexual attraction
Pritchard: So why didn’t you sleep with him then?
Brennan: Because of Booth.
Pritchard: Ohhh, you know, I suspected that you two might be more than just partners.
Brennan: Oh, no. That’s incorrect. Booth advised me not to sleep with Ian because Booth didn’t want me to be another notch on Ian’s bedpost.
Pritchard: See, I rather saw it as climbing Everest. Of course it’s been done before but the experience is still breathtaking.
Brennan: You have a strong sexual appetite and you’re not hamstrung by social moralizing. I can empathize with that.
Pritchard: Thank you.
Brennan: But I didn’t sleep with Ian.
Pritchard: You didn’t?
Brennan: No.
Pritchard: Why not? You obviously fancied each other.
Brennan: Yes, I noted several physiological responses to his presence which can only be explained by sexual attraction
Pritchard: So why didn’t you sleep with him then?
Brennan: Because of Booth.
Pritchard: Ohhh, you know, I suspected that you two might be more than just partners.
Brennan: Oh, no. That’s incorrect. Booth advised me not to sleep with Ian because Booth didn’t want me to be another notch on Ian’s bedpost.
Pritchard: See, I rather saw it as climbing Everest. Of course it’s been done before but the experience is still breathtaking.
Brennan: You have a strong sexual appetite and you’re not hamstrung by social moralizing. I can empathize with that.
Pritchard: Thank you.
TV Show: Bones
Sweets: Does it seem that your partnership provides a surrogate relationship, making it more difficult to form other bonds?
Brennan: A surrogate relationship wouldn't necessarily be such a bad thing because then I could avoid the sting of rejection, which, however fleeting, is still uncomfortable.
Booth: Right. Okay, look, I'm sorry. You know what? If Mark and Jason don't know how lucky they are, they don't deserve you in the first place.
Brennan: No, relationships are temporary.
Booth: No, that's not true, Bones, you're wrong, okay? There is someone for everyone, someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with, all right? You just have to be open enough to see it, that's all.
Brennan: A surrogate relationship wouldn't necessarily be such a bad thing because then I could avoid the sting of rejection, which, however fleeting, is still uncomfortable.
Booth: Right. Okay, look, I'm sorry. You know what? If Mark and Jason don't know how lucky they are, they don't deserve you in the first place.
Brennan: No, relationships are temporary.
Booth: No, that's not true, Bones, you're wrong, okay? There is someone for everyone, someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with, all right? You just have to be open enough to see it, that's all.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Anthropologically, 83% of societies are polygamist.
Booth: Now you sound French. Being faithful is what separates us from the chimps.
Brennan: Actually, it's a gene called HAR1F.
Booth: Now you sound French. Being faithful is what separates us from the chimps.
Brennan: Actually, it's a gene called HAR1F.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Parker had a nightmare.
Brennan: About severed fingers?
Booth: No, it was a singing frog.
Brennan: I don't see the connection. But then I'm one of those people that thinks when you dream about a banana, it's probably just a banana.
Brennan: About severed fingers?
Booth: No, it was a singing frog.
Brennan: I don't see the connection. But then I'm one of those people that thinks when you dream about a banana, it's probably just a banana.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Okay, yeah, I get it. You saw a whole lady's corpse when you were a little girl and you were fine.
Brennan: Yes. Although, for some reason that I do not understand, I kept staging my own death. Pretending that I drowned in the bathtub, faking electrical shock. It really freaked my parents out. And once, when Russ found me hanging, he had to go see the school psychologist.
Booth: [mildly sarcastic] But otherwise you were fine.
Brennan: [earnestly] Yeah.
Brennan: Yes. Although, for some reason that I do not understand, I kept staging my own death. Pretending that I drowned in the bathtub, faking electrical shock. It really freaked my parents out. And once, when Russ found me hanging, he had to go see the school psychologist.
Booth: [mildly sarcastic] But otherwise you were fine.
Brennan: [earnestly] Yeah.
TV Show: Bones
Parker: [to Booth, when introduced to Dr. Sweets] His face doesn't look like a baby's behind!
Booth: [puts his hands over Parker's ears] Look, okay, he's having nightmares, he's not eating, he doesn't wanna go to school and suddenly he's afraid of meteors!
Sweets: Giant flaming rocks from outer space. Who wouldn't be afraid?
Booth: [puts his hands over Parker's ears] Look, okay, he's having nightmares, he's not eating, he doesn't wanna go to school and suddenly he's afraid of meteors!
Sweets: Giant flaming rocks from outer space. Who wouldn't be afraid?
TV Show: Bones