Bones Quotes
[Booth walks into Brennan's office and finds her using her laptop computer while curled up on the sofa with Ripley.]
Booth: Uh, the dog should be, you know, in the cage. He killed Seth Elliot.
Brennan: Well, it's not his fault! He's actually a very nice dog, [cooing to Ripley] aren't you? [to Booth] He reminds me of you.
Booth: Me?
Brennan: He's got warm and reassuring brown eyes, and he's capable of great violence.
Booth: Okay, great. Thanks a million.
Booth: Uh, the dog should be, you know, in the cage. He killed Seth Elliot.
Brennan: Well, it's not his fault! He's actually a very nice dog, [cooing to Ripley] aren't you? [to Booth] He reminds me of you.
Booth: Me?
Brennan: He's got warm and reassuring brown eyes, and he's capable of great violence.
Booth: Okay, great. Thanks a million.
TV Show: Bones
[Brennan and Booth have just finished burying Ripley]
Brennan: On behalf of humankind and the universe, I'd like to apologize for what happened to Ripley. He was born a cute little puppy, and then the people who adopted him wanted to kill him because they were too stupid to realize that he would grow into a big dog.
Booth: That's good.
Brennan: Ripley was a good dog. He didn't want to fight, but he did it to please his master. And he didn't want to attack a human being, but he did it — to please his master. [holding back tears] You know, it wasn't Ripley's fault his master was cruel and selfish. Like all dogs, Ripley only saw the good in people. Dogs are like that. People should take a lesson.
Brennan: On behalf of humankind and the universe, I'd like to apologize for what happened to Ripley. He was born a cute little puppy, and then the people who adopted him wanted to kill him because they were too stupid to realize that he would grow into a big dog.
Booth: That's good.
Brennan: Ripley was a good dog. He didn't want to fight, but he did it to please his master. And he didn't want to attack a human being, but he did it — to please his master. [holding back tears] You know, it wasn't Ripley's fault his master was cruel and selfish. Like all dogs, Ripley only saw the good in people. Dogs are like that. People should take a lesson.
TV Show: Bones
Angela: These are children's shoes, but they're size 11.
Cam: So you think our victim was a giant toddler?
Brennan: That would show up in the bones.
Cam: Sarcasm does not play well on the forensic platform.
Cam: So you think our victim was a giant toddler?
Brennan: That would show up in the bones.
Cam: Sarcasm does not play well on the forensic platform.
TV Show: Bones
Sweets: These action figurines, they're awesome.
Booth: Still living at home there, huh, Sweets?
Sweets: No, I have my own place, and before that I lived with a woman. All right?
Brennan: Was that woman your mother?
Booth: Still living at home there, huh, Sweets?
Sweets: No, I have my own place, and before that I lived with a woman. All right?
Brennan: Was that woman your mother?
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Sweets, what are you doing?
Sweets: I'm putting myself in the mind of an obsessive-compulsive in order to figure out where I might conceal a memory-enhancing, psychosexual proxy.
Booth: Right, right. What's that mean?
Brennan: Masturbatory aid.
Booth: Oh. Check the shoes.
Sweets: Good.
Brennan: What? He's not going to find it in the shoes. (Sweets holds up a photgraph) Do all boys keep their masturbatory aids in their shoes, or is that particular to you?
Booth: That's for me to know and you to find out.
Sweets: I'm putting myself in the mind of an obsessive-compulsive in order to figure out where I might conceal a memory-enhancing, psychosexual proxy.
Booth: Right, right. What's that mean?
Brennan: Masturbatory aid.
Booth: Oh. Check the shoes.
Sweets: Good.
Brennan: What? He's not going to find it in the shoes. (Sweets holds up a photgraph) Do all boys keep their masturbatory aids in their shoes, or is that particular to you?
Booth: That's for me to know and you to find out.
TV Show: Bones
Tushman: The publishing game's changed. You know what I mean, Dr. Brennan.
Brennan: No, I do not.
Booth: Try me, Mr. Tushman.
Tushman: Book writing is no longer about good writing per se. It's about marketability. A book of the author. There's a reason why your photo takes up the entire back cover of your books.
Brennan: Because I'm a very good writer.
Tushman: You're serviceable, but your success is contingent upon your image as a hot scientist chick.
Brennan: That's not true, is it?
Booth: Of course not! Don't call my partner a chick! What's the matter with you?
Brennan: No, I do not.
Booth: Try me, Mr. Tushman.
Tushman: Book writing is no longer about good writing per se. It's about marketability. A book of the author. There's a reason why your photo takes up the entire back cover of your books.
Brennan: Because I'm a very good writer.
Tushman: You're serviceable, but your success is contingent upon your image as a hot scientist chick.
Brennan: That's not true, is it?
Booth: Of course not! Don't call my partner a chick! What's the matter with you?
TV Show: Bones
Booth: What are you doing?
Brennan: I'm throwing out my book.
Booth: It's still on your hard drive, right?
Brennan: No, not any more it's not.
Booth: You erased it? Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!
Brennan: I don't want to be a writer any more.
Booth: Oh, why? Because of what that publisher said? He was an idiot. Did you see his glasses?
Brennan: Well, I don't want to be a sexy scientist.
Booth: Well, that's like me saying I don't want to be a sexy FBI agent. We can't change who we are.
Brennan: I'm throwing out my book.
Booth: It's still on your hard drive, right?
Brennan: No, not any more it's not.
Booth: You erased it? Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!
Brennan: I don't want to be a writer any more.
Booth: Oh, why? Because of what that publisher said? He was an idiot. Did you see his glasses?
Brennan: Well, I don't want to be a sexy scientist.
Booth: Well, that's like me saying I don't want to be a sexy FBI agent. We can't change who we are.
TV Show: Bones
Sweets: Well, uh, first I think it's important to find out what went wrong, why you were involved in an unsuccessful relationship.
Angela: Who said it was unsuccessful?
Sweets: You're not together anymore, are you?
Angela: Do you love your parents?
Sweets: Yes.
Angela: But you don't live together anymore, does that mean your relationship with mom and dad was unsuccessful?
Sweets: I don't think it's the same.
Angela: I do. Sometimes you have to move on, whatever your feelings.
Angela: Who said it was unsuccessful?
Sweets: You're not together anymore, are you?
Angela: Do you love your parents?
Sweets: Yes.
Angela: But you don't live together anymore, does that mean your relationship with mom and dad was unsuccessful?
Sweets: I don't think it's the same.
Angela: I do. Sometimes you have to move on, whatever your feelings.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: Do you consider yourself to be one of my "brighter grad students," Mr. Nigel-Murray?
Vincent: Yes, and so do you, Dr. Brennan.
Booth: I am not calling this kid Mr. Nigel... anything.
Vincent: Vincent. Or Vince, or Vinny, Vin... Vincenzo. Actually, uh, I had this girlfriend, once, who used to call me "Vino Delectable" because of how my — uh, you don't... need to know that.
Vincent: Yes, and so do you, Dr. Brennan.
Booth: I am not calling this kid Mr. Nigel... anything.
Vincent: Vincent. Or Vince, or Vinny, Vin... Vincenzo. Actually, uh, I had this girlfriend, once, who used to call me "Vino Delectable" because of how my — uh, you don't... need to know that.
TV Show: Bones
Cam: We already have Agent Booth to make lame jokes. Let's stick to facts.
Vincent: The rods in the human eye are sensitive enough to detect the light emitted by a struck match from as much as a mile away on a clear night.
Cam: Okay, let's stick to relevant facts.
Vincent: The sockets have been ground down.
Cam: Okay, that could be useful. [looks expectantly at Vincent, who smiles but says nothing] Especially if you have an explanation.
Vincent: Plastic surgery. Oh, uh, she had [gestures with his hands in front of his chest] fake boobs, too.
Cam: "Sockets," "eyeballs," "boobs" — I wouldn't use these words when conferring with Dr. Brennan.
Vincent: I know. With her it's all "supraorbital nimbus" and "mammary implants." But you seemed a more colloquial sort.
Cam: Well, in that case, what about the "backbone"?
Vincent: The rods in the human eye are sensitive enough to detect the light emitted by a struck match from as much as a mile away on a clear night.
Cam: Okay, let's stick to relevant facts.
Vincent: The sockets have been ground down.
Cam: Okay, that could be useful. [looks expectantly at Vincent, who smiles but says nothing] Especially if you have an explanation.
Vincent: Plastic surgery. Oh, uh, she had [gestures with his hands in front of his chest] fake boobs, too.
Cam: "Sockets," "eyeballs," "boobs" — I wouldn't use these words when conferring with Dr. Brennan.
Vincent: I know. With her it's all "supraorbital nimbus" and "mammary implants." But you seemed a more colloquial sort.
Cam: Well, in that case, what about the "backbone"?
TV Show: Bones
Hodgins: Does Brennan put "Mr." before your name?
Vincent: Yes.
Hodgins: That's her very subtle way of saying you're not a doctor.
Vincent: Yes.
Hodgins: That's her very subtle way of saying you're not a doctor.
TV Show: Bones
Mr. Nigel-Murray: Can I ask you something?
Hodgins: Is there any way to say no?
Mr. Nigel-Murray: What ever happened to whoever it was who used to work here before me?
Hodgins: He joined forces with a serial killer who was the last in the long line of cannibalistic murderers specializing in knocking off members of secret societies and building skeletons out of their body parts.
Mr. Nigel-Murray: Wow, I hope that doesn't happen to me.
Hodgins: Is there any way to say no?
Mr. Nigel-Murray: What ever happened to whoever it was who used to work here before me?
Hodgins: He joined forces with a serial killer who was the last in the long line of cannibalistic murderers specializing in knocking off members of secret societies and building skeletons out of their body parts.
Mr. Nigel-Murray: Wow, I hope that doesn't happen to me.
TV Show: Bones
Cam: [about the victim] "He"?
Vincent: Mmm-hmm. Triangular pubis, no evidence of a ventral arc. The pelvic bone speaks. It says, "I be male."
Cam: The pelvic bone can say whatever it wants to say. This part here [points in the general direction of the lower body] says female.
Vincent: What part's that?
Cam: It's called a vagina.
Vincent: Mmm-hmm. Triangular pubis, no evidence of a ventral arc. The pelvic bone speaks. It says, "I be male."
Cam: The pelvic bone can say whatever it wants to say. This part here [points in the general direction of the lower body] says female.
Vincent: What part's that?
Cam: It's called a vagina.
TV Show: Bones
[Brennan and Booth approach a darkened office building.]
Booth: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What goes first?
Brennan: Gun goes first.
Booth: That's right.
Brennan: What if you get shot?
Booth: Don't say things like that, all right? You're going to jinx me.
Brennan: Well, if you're relying on superstition for safety, perhaps I should carry the gun.
Booth: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What goes first?
Brennan: Gun goes first.
Booth: That's right.
Brennan: What if you get shot?
Booth: Don't say things like that, all right? You're going to jinx me.
Brennan: Well, if you're relying on superstition for safety, perhaps I should carry the gun.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: [She walks up while Daisy and Cam are discussing the sculpture, and dumps a giant container of flesh-eating beetles onto it. They look at her with consternation.] I was going to say that I slipped, but I don't like to lie.
Cam: You dumped a bucket full of Dermestes beetles onto this work of art. They'll strip the flesh off our victim in no time.
Brennan: [nodding] Within 30 hours. Am I fired?
Cam: Au contraire. Remind me of this moment around Christmas bonus time.
Cam: You dumped a bucket full of Dermestes beetles onto this work of art. They'll strip the flesh off our victim in no time.
Brennan: [nodding] Within 30 hours. Am I fired?
Cam: Au contraire. Remind me of this moment around Christmas bonus time.
TV Show: Bones
[Booth, Brennan, Cam and Hodgins look on in shock as Dr. Sweets and Daisy kiss on the forensic platform.]
Hodgins: I am shocked.
Brennan: Yeah. They should not be doing that on the forensic platform.
Cam: That's a method of termination I've never tried. Bravo, Dr. Sweets.
Booth: They'll never work. They're, like, complete opposites.
Brennan: I agree. For all her faults, she's a woman of science. Sweets bases his life on the vagaries of psychology and emotion. There's no common ground.
Booth: Right.
Brennan: You need common ground. What else is there?
Booth: Absolutely.
[Booth and Brennan look at each other as Sweets and Daisy walk away together.]
Hodgins: I am shocked.
Brennan: Yeah. They should not be doing that on the forensic platform.
Cam: That's a method of termination I've never tried. Bravo, Dr. Sweets.
Booth: They'll never work. They're, like, complete opposites.
Brennan: I agree. For all her faults, she's a woman of science. Sweets bases his life on the vagaries of psychology and emotion. There's no common ground.
Booth: Right.
Brennan: You need common ground. What else is there?
Booth: Absolutely.
[Booth and Brennan look at each other as Sweets and Daisy walk away together.]
TV Show: Bones
Police Trainer: [after a flaming body lands on a police car] We're gonna need a... um... a fire extinguisher. Then maybe some sort of... trauma counselor?
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: [to Booth's brother Jared] It is nice to meet you, Jarhead. I can see the family resemblance. Your facial structure is even more symmetrical than Booth's.
Jared: [to Booth, aside] Is she coming on to me?
Booth: No, it's just the way she talks.
Jared: [to Booth, aside] Is she coming on to me?
Booth: No, it's just the way she talks.
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: I didn't have sex with him, Cam.
Angela: Didn't have sex with who?
Cam: Jared Booth.
Angela: Good.
Brennan: Why good?
Cam: Because... because...
Angela: Because he's Booth's little brother, and it would just be a creepy way to have sex with a Booth without having sex with the real Booth.
Cam: Kudos, Angela. I would not have had the guts to say that out loud.
Angela: Didn't have sex with who?
Cam: Jared Booth.
Angela: Good.
Brennan: Why good?
Cam: Because... because...
Angela: Because he's Booth's little brother, and it would just be a creepy way to have sex with a Booth without having sex with the real Booth.
Cam: Kudos, Angela. I would not have had the guts to say that out loud.
TV Show: Bones
Cam: Dr. Brennan, I don't want you to think this is an intervention.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Sweets: An intervention is when a group of loved ones bands together to help one of their own make a difficult decision.
Cam: Oh, um, then this is an intervention.
Brennan: Are you my loved ones?
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Sweets: An intervention is when a group of loved ones bands together to help one of their own make a difficult decision.
Cam: Oh, um, then this is an intervention.
Brennan: Are you my loved ones?
TV Show: Bones
Brennan: [toasting Booth] Anthropology teaches us that the alpha male is the man wearing the crown, displaying the most colorful plumage and the shiniest baubles. He stands out from the others. But I now think that anthropology may have it wrong. In working with Booth, I've come to realize that the quiet man, the invisible man, the man who's always there for friends and family... that's a real alpha male. And I promise my eyes will never be caught by those shiny baubles again.
TV Show: Bones
Flight Attendant: [having caught Booth in first class, reclining next to Brennan] Sir, you need to return to coach.
Booth: See, we're partners. We like being together.
Flight Attendant: Your sexual relationship is not relevant, sir. This is first class.
Brennan: Why does everyone always think we have a sexual relationship when we barely ever even touch each other?
Booth: See, we're partners. We like being together.
Flight Attendant: Your sexual relationship is not relevant, sir. This is first class.
Brennan: Why does everyone always think we have a sexual relationship when we barely ever even touch each other?
TV Show: Bones
[Booth visits Brennan in the first-class section of the plane.]
Booth: Are you tired of working with me?
Brennan: No, it's not that. But the identification and analysis of ancient remains, that's why I became a forensic anthropologist.
Booth: You're bored. The spark is gone.
Brennan: I'm a scientist first.
Booth: Right. Yeah. A scientist first. I get it. I understand.
Brennan: Hey, if you get caught up here, does that make me an accessory?
Booth: [smiles] An accessory to an upgrade.
Booth: Are you tired of working with me?
Brennan: No, it's not that. But the identification and analysis of ancient remains, that's why I became a forensic anthropologist.
Booth: You're bored. The spark is gone.
Brennan: I'm a scientist first.
Booth: Right. Yeah. A scientist first. I get it. I understand.
Brennan: Hey, if you get caught up here, does that make me an accessory?
Booth: [smiles] An accessory to an upgrade.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: [sees Brennan wearing cats-eye glasses while examining remains] Bones. All right, what I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say, "Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?"
Brennan: [looks confused] Why?
Booth: Never mind.
Brennan: [looks confused] Why?
Booth: Never mind.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: You want to get off the plane to see those old Chinese bones. I'm sorry.
Brennan: It's not your fault.
Booth: Yes, it is. Because I'm the one who dragged you out of pure science and pulled you into murder-solving.
Brennan: That's not how I remember it.
Booth: Really?
Brennan: Yes. As I recall, I had to force you to take me into the field.
Booth: [smiles] Really?
Brennan: Yes. You didn't want to, remember? [smiles] This is all my fault.
Brennan: It's not your fault.
Booth: Yes, it is. Because I'm the one who dragged you out of pure science and pulled you into murder-solving.
Brennan: That's not how I remember it.
Booth: Really?
Brennan: Yes. As I recall, I had to force you to take me into the field.
Booth: [smiles] Really?
Brennan: Yes. You didn't want to, remember? [smiles] This is all my fault.
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Okay, what do we got?
Brennan: This one is a portion of the sacrum. It's definitely human. There's char marks. [sniffs the bone]
Booth: Oh, God. You know I hate when you sniff and smell dead things!
Brennan: This one is a portion of the sacrum. It's definitely human. There's char marks. [sniffs the bone]
Booth: Oh, God. You know I hate when you sniff and smell dead things!
TV Show: Bones
Booth: Your dad works here now?
Brennan: Not my idea.
Cam: She wants me to fire him.
Booth: Why?
Brennan: This is a crime lab! My father is a bank robber and an accused murderer!
Cam: Booth's killed more people than Max has and he works here.
Booth: Don't bring that up! Why did you have to bring that up?!
Brennan: Not my idea.
Cam: She wants me to fire him.
Booth: Why?
Brennan: This is a crime lab! My father is a bank robber and an accused murderer!
Cam: Booth's killed more people than Max has and he works here.
Booth: Don't bring that up! Why did you have to bring that up?!
TV Show: Bones
Max: Are you sleeping with my daughter?
Booth: No.
Max: Why? Are you gay?
Booth: [half-laughing] No.
Max: Is she not attractive enough?
Booth: [somewhat angry] Bones is beautiful.
Max: Is it because of me? Because I killed one man and we both know he deserved it?
Booth: All right, just cut it out, Max, all right? I'll talk to her. Probably ain't gonna get anywhere with her, but I'll talk to her.
Max: You're a good man, and I want that for her. Now, I gotta go blow up some soda for some kids.
Booth: No.
Max: Why? Are you gay?
Booth: [half-laughing] No.
Max: Is she not attractive enough?
Booth: [somewhat angry] Bones is beautiful.
Max: Is it because of me? Because I killed one man and we both know he deserved it?
Booth: All right, just cut it out, Max, all right? I'll talk to her. Probably ain't gonna get anywhere with her, but I'll talk to her.
Max: You're a good man, and I want that for her. Now, I gotta go blow up some soda for some kids.
TV Show: Bones
Max: I've decided I'm leaving the Jeffersonian.
Sweets: Why?
Brennan: Because I fired him.
Sweets: You can do that?
Max: Oh, yeah. Believe me, she can do it.
Brennan: Well, it's all about proximity to forensic evidence.
Max: Don't take any offense, but that's a lot of crap. It's about a proximity to me. Right?
Sweets: Well, in my opinion, it isn't your father's presence that's causing you anxiety. It's the memory of his absence.
Brennan: I can understand quantum mechanics, but I can't understand you.
Sweets: Why?
Brennan: Because I fired him.
Sweets: You can do that?
Max: Oh, yeah. Believe me, she can do it.
Brennan: Well, it's all about proximity to forensic evidence.
Max: Don't take any offense, but that's a lot of crap. It's about a proximity to me. Right?
Sweets: Well, in my opinion, it isn't your father's presence that's causing you anxiety. It's the memory of his absence.
Brennan: I can understand quantum mechanics, but I can't understand you.
TV Show: Bones