Boston Legal Quotes
Al Sharpton: [bursts into the courtroom] Sorry I'm late, Judge, I'll make this quick...
Alan Shore: [buts in] And subtle!
Judge Harry Hingham: [to Sharpton] Who the Hell are you?
Al Sharpton: [Continues without pause] ... The image of Santa Claus has been crafted for hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of years. We're supposed to be in a different day. Give the world a black Santa Claus, let the people have an African-American come down the chimney bearing joy and good will!
Alan Shore: [whispers to Sharpton] Gay, not black.
Al Sharpton: The prejudice against gay people must stop. We all say we're for gay rights. We all say we accept homosexuality. But give a gay man a hug, sit in his lap?
Judge Harry Hingham: [Interrupts] Who is this man?
Al Sharpton: [Continues without stopping] Let the bells of tolerance ring out this Christmas. Let people open their minds as they open their presents underneath the tree. We need your mind, judge, today. Let the gay man be my brother, be your brother, be the school teacher, be the construction worker. Give the world a gay Santa Claus, God Almighty, God Almighty, God Almighty! Leave out the cookies and milk this Christmas Eve for a holly, jolly homosexual, God Almighty!
Alan Shore: And cut! [Applause ensues]
Alan Shore: [buts in] And subtle!
Judge Harry Hingham: [to Sharpton] Who the Hell are you?
Al Sharpton: [Continues without pause] ... The image of Santa Claus has been crafted for hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of years. We're supposed to be in a different day. Give the world a black Santa Claus, let the people have an African-American come down the chimney bearing joy and good will!
Alan Shore: [whispers to Sharpton] Gay, not black.
Al Sharpton: The prejudice against gay people must stop. We all say we're for gay rights. We all say we accept homosexuality. But give a gay man a hug, sit in his lap?
Judge Harry Hingham: [Interrupts] Who is this man?
Al Sharpton: [Continues without stopping] Let the bells of tolerance ring out this Christmas. Let people open their minds as they open their presents underneath the tree. We need your mind, judge, today. Let the gay man be my brother, be your brother, be the school teacher, be the construction worker. Give the world a gay Santa Claus, God Almighty, God Almighty, God Almighty! Leave out the cookies and milk this Christmas Eve for a holly, jolly homosexual, God Almighty!
Alan Shore: And cut! [Applause ensues]
TV Show: Boston Legal
Judge Sean O'Byrne: I find it insulting to be lectured by an American about the environment.
Denny Crane: Watch it, judge, we're a superpower. Don't make us add you to the axis.
Denny Crane: Watch it, judge, we're a superpower. Don't make us add you to the axis.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Shirley Schmidt: Ivan, always good doing business with you.
Ivan Tiggs: Yes, it is.
Ivan Tiggs: Yes, it is.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Shirley Schmidt: He is ultimately a benign man who we all happen to care about, including you. I think what you really mean to do is voice your concern unofficially.
Lori Colson: I'm making an official complaint. If there's forms to be filled out please have them sent to my office. [Lori walks away]
Shirley Schmidt: You little *****.
Lori Colson: I'm making an official complaint. If there's forms to be filled out please have them sent to my office. [Lori walks away]
Shirley Schmidt: You little *****.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Brad Chase: Uh, I think that's my seat.
Alan Shore: Yes, I did see someone's things here. I moved them to a less desirable location.
[Brad gives him a smirky stare.]
Alan: I'm sorry. We're not territorial about that sort of thing around here, are we?
Alan Shore: Yes, I did see someone's things here. I moved them to a less desirable location.
[Brad gives him a smirky stare.]
Alan: I'm sorry. We're not territorial about that sort of thing around here, are we?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny Crane: [introductions] Denny Crane.
Chicago Partner: I know. I'm from Chicago.
Denny Crane: Oh, my kind of town. Always had the best sex of my life in Chicago. What about you?
Chicago Partner: I know. I'm from Chicago.
Denny Crane: Oh, my kind of town. Always had the best sex of my life in Chicago. What about you?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Associate: Where the hell is Edwin?
Edwin Poole: [entering the room, wearing no pants] Sorry I'm late, good people.
Alan: Is it casual Monday?
Edwin Poole: [entering the room, wearing no pants] Sorry I'm late, good people.
Alan: Is it casual Monday?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: I have trouble talking that fast. I don't believe in being straight up, but I'm a big fan of your Aqua Velva commercials.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: You two have had sex!
Brad: We're not territorial about that sort of thing, are we?
Brad: We're not territorial about that sort of thing, are we?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Little Orphan Annie's Mom: She's earned this, Mr. Shore.
Alan: I have no doubt. But you realize producers do have discretion in the art of casting - strikes me as a very inexact science.
Alan: I have no doubt. But you realize producers do have discretion in the art of casting - strikes me as a very inexact science.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Al Sharpton: The sun needs to come out today - not tomorrow, your honor. [courtroom explodes in applause] That's what you call a rabbit, son. Denny Crane.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: Christine, you were in love with a man who was unworthy of you, who made you doubt everything you had a right to count on, who perhaps even toyed with your sanity.
Christine: That's still no reason to kill him.
Alan: Perhaps he had it coming.
Christine: Perhaps you did.
Christine: That's still no reason to kill him.
Alan: Perhaps he had it coming.
Christine: Perhaps you did.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: [deposing an attractive plaintiff] In this last year, would you say you've had more or less sex since your husband died?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: [to Lori] I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those who want to kill me, don't you? Perhaps you'll find that witty comeback in your office.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: I demand only one thing in a relationship, Christine, that I remain utterly alone.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: [regarding Brad and Tara] They make a lovely couple, don't they? He has a nice tight ass, don't you think?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Sally: What could I possibly say in my closing? I've got nothing.
Alan: Rabbit.
Sally: I'm sorry?
Alan: Pull a rabbit out from under your dress.
Alan: Rabbit.
Sally: I'm sorry?
Alan: Pull a rabbit out from under your dress.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Sally, that was not a pleasant meeting. Typically when associates are unhappy, I give them a hug.
Sally: I don't want a hug, Mr. Crane.
Denny: Okay. May I have one?
Sally: I don't want a hug, Mr. Crane.
Denny: Okay. May I have one?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Warren: That's it? Two questions. That was your cross?
Lori: I didn't have much to cross him with, Warren.
Warren: Then what was the point of your questions? Tell me that.
Lori: I was trying to establish that you were coerced. The judge doesn't shock easily but maybe the jury does.
Warren: Oh, I see; you were going for shock value. Well, maybe you could've really gone for it and asked three questions.
Lori: I didn't have much to cross him with, Warren.
Warren: Then what was the point of your questions? Tell me that.
Lori: I was trying to establish that you were coerced. The judge doesn't shock easily but maybe the jury does.
Warren: Oh, I see; you were going for shock value. Well, maybe you could've really gone for it and asked three questions.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Brad: Feel free to mock me all you want, but don't you dare ridicule our troops.
Alan: Just so I'm clear, I should feel free to mock you.
Alan: Just so I'm clear, I should feel free to mock you.
TV Show: Boston Legal