Boston Legal Quotes
Denny: [to Judge Harvey Cooper[ You're a douchebag. I don't do well with douchebags.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Melissa: [to Alan] I will not be objectified...
Brad: [to Alan] I told you to interview.
Brad: [to Alan] I told you to interview.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Dwight Biddle: It's Bumpy, isn't it? I had such a crush on that cow. It doesn't mean I'm gay.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Dwight Biddle: We became very close.
Shirley: You strayed with livestock?
Dwight Biddle: It's not what you think. It was all very loving.
Shirley: You strayed with livestock?
Dwight Biddle: It's not what you think. It was all very loving.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Dr. Glouberman: I would never do anything to harm a patient. My fat, Denise, it's the good stuff.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Melissa: I will make sure you don't wig out and that's it.
Alan: I'm not sure the term 'wig out' has legal teeth.
Melissa: Mmm, but it is extremely xeroxable for all the partners' windshields.
Alan: I'm not sure the term 'wig out' has legal teeth.
Melissa: Mmm, but it is extremely xeroxable for all the partners' windshields.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Dr. Glouberman: She's a vicious, spiteful, treacherous pig. That's what she is.
Denise: I'm not going to lead with that.
Denise: I'm not going to lead with that.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Because we're friends, I'm gonna tell you something nobody else knows. I'm homophobic.
Alan: [deadpan] I'm stunned.
Alan: [deadpan] I'm stunned.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Thank you, Alan, for coming with me.
Alan: I think friends should always encourage friends to get their heads examined.
Alan: I think friends should always encourage friends to get their heads examined.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.
Denny: Denny Crane.
Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.
Denny: Are you making fun of me?
Denny: Denny Crane.
Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane.
Denny: Are you making fun of me?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Here's a little secret. I know things. Don't tell.
Alan: That secret seems unbelievably safe.
Alan: That secret seems unbelievably safe.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Gracie Jane: [referring to the poor in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina] Maybe they couldn't get out. Maybe they thought the federal government might rescue them or, failing that, give a damn.
Denny: How stupid is that?
Denny: How stupid is that?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: You and Jane Fonda?
Denny: Lest we forget Barbarella. Then she turned on me. Went red. They caught her in one of those communist bitch hunts.
Alan: I think you mean witch hunts.
Denny: No, I'm right on this one.
Denny: Lest we forget Barbarella. Then she turned on me. Went red. They caught her in one of those communist bitch hunts.
Alan: I think you mean witch hunts.
Denny: No, I'm right on this one.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: Denny, I could be wrong, but you might want to think about settling this.
Denny: You're absolutely right. You could be wrong.
Denny: You're absolutely right. You could be wrong.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Shirley: I always say two things. One is, everything you do reflects of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt. What is the other?
Denise Bauer: You're Schmidt.
Denise Bauer: You're Schmidt.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Shirley: [to Denise and Brad] We are lawyers. We sue people. We do not abduct.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Here's what you need to know about the practice of law. It all comes down to money.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: You, kid.
Garrett: Yes. sir.
Denny: Fix my tie. [to Sara] You, you know my name?
Sara: Yes, sir.
Denny: Good. Maybe someday I'll learn yours.
Garrett: Yes. sir.
Denny: Fix my tie. [to Sara] You, you know my name?
Sara: Yes, sir.
Denny: Good. Maybe someday I'll learn yours.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Seriously, do I act like I'm the only one in the room?
Alan: Denny, one of the things I love about you is when we talk, often it's as if you're not even in the room.
Alan: Denny, one of the things I love about you is when we talk, often it's as if you're not even in the room.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Alan: You know, we have a saying in Massachusetts. "Maybe someday you'll get horribly sick and die." Until then.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: What are you doing in my office?
Paul: This is my office, Denny.
Denny: Oh, that must mean I've come to see you...why?
Paul: This is my office, Denny.
Denny: Oh, that must mean I've come to see you...why?
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: Denny Crane. My poop doesn't smell. Comes out in pretty colors, pastels. Denny Crane.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Frank: You attacked a man, cutting off his fingers. As someone who took an oath to uphold the law, yes, I take that personally.
Brad: Good sound bite, Frank. Might want to save it for the cameras.
Brad: Good sound bite, Frank. Might want to save it for the cameras.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: [to Shirley] It's not nice to talk about crazy people behind their backs.
TV Show: Boston Legal
Denny: [to Judge Brown] Judge, you're old. I'm old. Lock and load before we're dead.
TV Show: Boston Legal