Bruce Almighty Quotes
God: Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.
Movie: Bruce Almighty
God: Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.
Bruce: Quit bragging.
Bruce: Quit bragging.
Movie: Bruce Almighty
Bruce: [being overwhelmed with hearing prayers] Give me a break! [Bruce is instantly transported to meet with God]
God: Really something, isn't it?
Bruce: Is this heaven?
God: No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all. [pause]
Bruce: I'm *dead*?
God: Naw, I'm just messing with ya.
Bruce: That's not funny, Man! That is *not* funny.
God: Really something, isn't it?
Bruce: Is this heaven?
God: No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all. [pause]
Bruce: I'm *dead*?
God: Naw, I'm just messing with ya.
Bruce: That's not funny, Man! That is *not* funny.
Movie: Bruce Almighty
Bruce: [the body of Jimmy Hoffa has just been exhumed] Hey kid, wanna make 10 bucks?
Kid: Sure
Bruce: [holding a video camera] You know how to work one of these?
Kid: Duh!
Bruce: [blows into the eye piece like a trumpet] Seems to be in tune. Let's do this!
Kid: Sure
Bruce: [holding a video camera] You know how to work one of these?
Kid: Duh!
Bruce: [blows into the eye piece like a trumpet] Seems to be in tune. Let's do this!
Movie: Bruce Almighty
Hood: You want me and the homies to apologize right? [Bruce nods]
Hood: Okay Cool, man, the day a monkey comes out of my butt is the day you'll get your sorry.
Bruce: What a coincidence, because that's TODAY.
Hood: Okay Cool, man, the day a monkey comes out of my butt is the day you'll get your sorry.
Bruce: What a coincidence, because that's TODAY.
Movie: Bruce Almighty
[Bruce blowing so walk-by-girl's dress lifts]
Bruce Nolan: I saw it, and it was *good*!
Bruce Nolan: I saw it, and it was *good*!
Movie: Bruce Almighty