Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
["Something to Sing About": After Buffy's devastating revelation, Spike stops her near-fatal spin.]
Spike:
Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this
It's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
So one of us is living.
Dawn: The hardest thing in this world... is to live in it.
Spike:
Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this
It's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
So one of us is living.
Dawn: The hardest thing in this world... is to live in it.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[From "Sweet's Song (Reprise)"]
Sweet:
What a lot of fun
You guys have been real swell
And there's not a one
Who can say this ended well
All those secrets you've been concealing
Say you're happy now
Once more with feeling
Now I gotta run
See you all
In Hell.
Sweet:
What a lot of fun
You guys have been real swell
And there's not a one
Who can say this ended well
All those secrets you've been concealing
Say you're happy now
Once more with feeling
Now I gotta run
See you all
In Hell.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Tara: Do you think I'm stupid? I know you used that spell on me.
Willow: Tara, I'm sorry, I-
Tara: Don't! Just... don't. [shakes head.] There's nothing you can say.
Willow: Tara, I didn't mean to-
Tara: To what? Violate my mind like that? How could you, Willow? How could you after what Glory did to me?
Willow: Violate you? I... I-I didn't ... mean anything like that, I-I, I just wanted us not to fight any more. I love you.
Tara: If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear.
Willow: But I-I just wanted to make things better. Better for us.
Tara: But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will. We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together.
Willow: Okay. I'm ... I realize I, I did it wrong.
Tara: You did it the way you're doing everything. When things get rough, you... you don't even consider the options. You just ... you just do a spell. It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for.
Willow: [apprehensive.] But I... I just wanna help people.
Tara: Maybe that's how it started, but ... you're helping yourself now, fixing things to your liking. Including me.
Willow: Tara, no!
[Tara looks away.]
Tara: I don't think this is gonna work.
Willow: Hey. It is, i-it's working. [Tara just looks at her, then looks down.] Tara, please. I need you, baby. I need you. I don't need magic, I-I don't, I ... let me prove it to you, okay? I, I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell. I swear.
[Tara looks back at her.]
Tara: Go a week.
Willow: Tara, I'm sorry, I-
Tara: Don't! Just... don't. [shakes head.] There's nothing you can say.
Willow: Tara, I didn't mean to-
Tara: To what? Violate my mind like that? How could you, Willow? How could you after what Glory did to me?
Willow: Violate you? I... I-I didn't ... mean anything like that, I-I, I just wanted us not to fight any more. I love you.
Tara: If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear.
Willow: But I-I just wanted to make things better. Better for us.
Tara: But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will. We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together.
Willow: Okay. I'm ... I realize I, I did it wrong.
Tara: You did it the way you're doing everything. When things get rough, you... you don't even consider the options. You just ... you just do a spell. It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for.
Willow: [apprehensive.] But I... I just wanna help people.
Tara: Maybe that's how it started, but ... you're helping yourself now, fixing things to your liking. Including me.
Willow: Tara, no!
[Tara looks away.]
Tara: I don't think this is gonna work.
Willow: Hey. It is, i-it's working. [Tara just looks at her, then looks down.] Tara, please. I need you, baby. I need you. I don't need magic, I-I don't, I ... let me prove it to you, okay? I, I will go a month without doing any magic. I won't do a single spell. I swear.
[Tara looks back at her.]
Tara: Go a week.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With... glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably.
...
Giles: We'll get our memory back, it'll all be right as rain.
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy-boy accent. You English men are always so... bloody hell! [counting them on his fingers.] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god... I'm English.
Giles: Welcome to the Nancy tribe.
Spike: You don't suppose you and I...we're not related, are we?
Anya: There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.
Giles: [gives her a flattered smile, then turns back to Spike] Yes, and you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity and ... disappointment. Older brother?
Spike: Father. Oh God, how I must hate you!
Giles: What did I do!?
...
Giles: We'll get our memory back, it'll all be right as rain.
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy-boy accent. You English men are always so... bloody hell! [counting them on his fingers.] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh god... I'm English.
Giles: Welcome to the Nancy tribe.
Spike: You don't suppose you and I...we're not related, are we?
Anya: There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.
Giles: [gives her a flattered smile, then turns back to Spike] Yes, and you do inspire a particular feeling of familiarity and ... disappointment. Older brother?
Spike: Father. Oh God, how I must hate you!
Giles: What did I do!?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dawn: You want me to name you?
Buffy: Oh, that's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I'll name me... "Joan".
Dawn: Ugh.
Buffy/Joan: What? Did you just "ugh" my name?
Dawn: No, I just... I mean, Joan, it's so blah.
Buffy/Joan: I like it. I feel like a "Joan".
Dawn: Fine, that's your purgative.
Buffy/Joan: "Perogative".
Dawn: Whatever, Joan.
Buffy/Joan: Whatever, Umad.
Buffy/Joan/Dawn: [unison.] Boy, you're a pain in the... / Boy, you're bossy!
Dawn: Do you think we're-
Buffy: Sisters?
[They smile and hug each other.]
Buffy: Oh, that's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I'll name me... "Joan".
Dawn: Ugh.
Buffy/Joan: What? Did you just "ugh" my name?
Dawn: No, I just... I mean, Joan, it's so blah.
Buffy/Joan: I like it. I feel like a "Joan".
Dawn: Fine, that's your purgative.
Buffy/Joan: "Perogative".
Dawn: Whatever, Joan.
Buffy/Joan: Whatever, Umad.
Buffy/Joan/Dawn: [unison.] Boy, you're a pain in the... / Boy, you're bossy!
Dawn: Do you think we're-
Buffy: Sisters?
[They smile and hug each other.]
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: [now under the impression he and Spike are father and son] What did I name you, anyway?
Spike: [reads a label in his coat] "Made with care for Randy". [horrified] Randy Giles!? Why didn't you just call me "Horny Giles", or "Desperate-for-a-Shag Giles"!? I knew there was a reason I hated you!
Spike: [reads a label in his coat] "Made with care for Randy". [horrified] Randy Giles!? Why didn't you just call me "Horny Giles", or "Desperate-for-a-Shag Giles"!? I knew there was a reason I hated you!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Buffy/Joan discovers that Randy/Spike is a Vampire]
Buffy/Joan: I kill your kind.
Spike/Randy: And I bite yours. So why don't I want to bite you?
...
Spike/Randy: I must be a vampire with a soul. I'm a good guy on a mission of redemption. I help the helpless!
Buffy/Joan: A vampire with a soul? How lame is that?
Buffy/Joan: I kill your kind.
Spike/Randy: And I bite yours. So why don't I want to bite you?
...
Spike/Randy: I must be a vampire with a soul. I'm a good guy on a mission of redemption. I help the helpless!
Buffy/Joan: A vampire with a soul? How lame is that?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Buffy/Joan stakes her first vampire.]
Tara: What did you just do?
Buffy/Joan: I-I don't know. But it was cool. I think I know why Joan's the boss! I'm like a... superhero or something!
Tara: What did you just do?
Buffy/Joan: I-I don't know. But it was cool. I think I know why Joan's the boss! I'm like a... superhero or something!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Warren: Okay, we'll scratch your back, you scratch...
Spike: I'm not going to scratch your anything. You do what I tell you.
Spike: I'm not going to scratch your anything. You do what I tell you.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: [to Warren] Translate this for me, Spock. I don't speak loser.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: I know, Xander engaged, I couldn't believe it either.
Amy: That's so weird... so what's she like?
Willow: Thousand year old capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.
Amy: That's so his type.
Amy: That's so weird... so what's she like?
Willow: Thousand year old capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.
Amy: That's so his type.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[after Willow has transformed Amy from rat back to human]
Amy: Everything feels weird. I mean, it's like ... I felt like I was in that cage for weeks![Willow looks nervous] But it can still be OK ... right? I-I can still get into the swing of things, like ... prom's coming up. I-I'm so hoping Larry would ask me. We would make such a splash at... [sees Willow's expression] Oh. Oh, God. [sighs, anxiously] He hasn't asked someone else, has he?
Willow: Uh, Amy ... three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. [Amy stares] Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's ... kinda over.
Amy: How long was I in the cage? [Willow is afraid to answer]How long?!
Amy: Everything feels weird. I mean, it's like ... I felt like I was in that cage for weeks![Willow looks nervous] But it can still be OK ... right? I-I can still get into the swing of things, like ... prom's coming up. I-I'm so hoping Larry would ask me. We would make such a splash at... [sees Willow's expression] Oh. Oh, God. [sighs, anxiously] He hasn't asked someone else, has he?
Willow: Uh, Amy ... three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. [Amy stares] Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's ... kinda over.
Amy: How long was I in the cage? [Willow is afraid to answer]How long?!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: Hey.
Tara: Hey. I just... B-Buffy didn't come home last night... either, so...
Willow: Uh, hey, uh, this is Amy. Amy, Tara. Tara, Amy.
Amy: How you doin'?
Tara: Fine, I-I'd b-better g-get going. [Tara turns to go]
Willow: Amy! Amy the rat? Sorry.
Amy: No, that's fair. I was a rat.
Tara: Hey. I just... B-Buffy didn't come home last night... either, so...
Willow: Uh, hey, uh, this is Amy. Amy, Tara. Tara, Amy.
Amy: How you doin'?
Tara: Fine, I-I'd b-better g-get going. [Tara turns to go]
Willow: Amy! Amy the rat? Sorry.
Amy: No, that's fair. I was a rat.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Anya has a theory. She thinks that Martha Stewart froze that guy.
Anya: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.
Xander: Please, she-Really?
Anya: Of course. Nobody could do that much découpage without calling on the powers of darkness.
Anya: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.
Xander: Please, she-Really?
Anya: Of course. Nobody could do that much découpage without calling on the powers of darkness.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: So, uh, the burger was good, you liked it?
Dawn: Are you kidding, it was like a meat party in my mouth! ...Okay, now I'm just a kid and even I know that came out wrong.
Dawn: Are you kidding, it was like a meat party in my mouth! ...Okay, now I'm just a kid and even I know that came out wrong.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Will you quit that? The only thing that's different is that I'm disgusted with myself. That's the power of your charms. Last night... was the most perverse... degrading experience of my life.
Spike: Yeah. Me too.
Buffy: That might get you off, but it's not my style.
Spike: No. It's your calling.
Spike: Yeah. Me too.
Buffy: That might get you off, but it's not my style.
Spike: No. It's your calling.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: It was. But I mean, if you could be, you know, plain old Willow or super Willow, who would you be? I guess you don't actually have an option on the whole super thing.
Buffy: Will, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need magic to be special.
Willow: Don't I? I mean, Buffy, who was I? Just... some girl. Tara didn't even know that girl.
Buffy: You are more than some girl. And Tara wants you to stop. She loves you.
Willow: We don't know that.
Buffy: I know that. I promise you.
Willow: I just... it took me away from myself, I was... free.
Buffy: I get that. More than you- But it's wrong. People get hurt.
Buffy: Will, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need magic to be special.
Willow: Don't I? I mean, Buffy, who was I? Just... some girl. Tara didn't even know that girl.
Buffy: You are more than some girl. And Tara wants you to stop. She loves you.
Willow: We don't know that.
Buffy: I know that. I promise you.
Willow: I just... it took me away from myself, I was... free.
Buffy: I get that. More than you- But it's wrong. People get hurt.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dawn: Candles! We can't have candles?
Buffy: Dawn, it's magic clearance, everything must go.
Dawn: But they're just candles.
Buffy: Yeah, well, to you and me they're just candles, but to witches they're like... bongs.
Buffy: Dawn, it's magic clearance, everything must go.
Dawn: But they're just candles.
Buffy: Yeah, well, to you and me they're just candles, but to witches they're like... bongs.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: Like pudding, am I right? Rice or tapioca, lumpy like that.
Xander: We have to find Buffy, she's gotta know.
Anya: I don't think Buffy's going to be too broken up over a pylon.
Xander: Anya, whatever's happening to the pylon will probably happen to her. If we don't find Buffy, I mean, if we don't figure out how this was done...
Anya: She's pudding.
Xander: We have to find Buffy, she's gotta know.
Anya: I don't think Buffy's going to be too broken up over a pylon.
Xander: Anya, whatever's happening to the pylon will probably happen to her. If we don't find Buffy, I mean, if we don't figure out how this was done...
Anya: She's pudding.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: You should go.
Buffy: I thought we were having fun.
Spike: Yeah, now. But eventually your friends are going to figure out a way to bring you back to living color. Get dressed if you can find your clothes and push off, 'cause if I can't have all of you...[looks down]...hey, that's cheating.
Buffy: I thought we were having fun.
Spike: Yeah, now. But eventually your friends are going to figure out a way to bring you back to living color. Get dressed if you can find your clothes and push off, 'cause if I can't have all of you...[looks down]...hey, that's cheating.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: So you three have, what? Banded together to be pains in my ass?
Warren: We're your arch-nemesises...ses. You may have beaten us this time, Slayer, but next time... um... uh, next time...
Jonathan: Maybe not!
...
[The girls see the boys struggling with the arcade's back door.]
Buffy: I give you my arch-nemesis...ses...ses.
Warren: We're your arch-nemesises...ses. You may have beaten us this time, Slayer, but next time... um... uh, next time...
Jonathan: Maybe not!
...
[The girls see the boys struggling with the arcade's back door.]
Buffy: I give you my arch-nemesis...ses...ses.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: [as Xander walks in on Spike and invisible Buffy] Spike? What are you doing?
Spike: What am I-... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I? [starts doing "push-ups"]
Xander: Exercising? Naked? In bed?
Spike: A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. You gotta be fit for killin'...
Xander: Ya-huh.
Spike: What am I-... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I? [starts doing "push-ups"]
Xander: Exercising? Naked? In bed?
Spike: A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. You gotta be fit for killin'...
Xander: Ya-huh.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Buffy attempts to find out the secret ingredient of Doublemeat burgers.]
Buffy: Sorry, I was just curious.
Manny the Manager: Curiosity killed the cat.
Buffy: [whispers] Theory number 5: cat burgers.
Buffy: Sorry, I was just curious.
Manny the Manager: Curiosity killed the cat.
Buffy: [whispers] Theory number 5: cat burgers.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: Xander, he-he's very kind, and brave, and he has the sweetest smile and the nicest body, and... he loves me. Sometimes it isn't easy, but he does.
Halfrek: Who told you that it isn't easy to love you?
Anya: Well... you know, sometimes I'll do something or say something, and then he has to say stuff like, "It is incorrect for you to appreciate money so much," or-or, "Observe: here is how a real human would behave."
Halfrek: Oh, so he corrects you?
Halfrek: Who told you that it isn't easy to love you?
Anya: Well... you know, sometimes I'll do something or say something, and then he has to say stuff like, "It is incorrect for you to appreciate money so much," or-or, "Observe: here is how a real human would behave."
Halfrek: Oh, so he corrects you?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: We need to get that burger analyzed. We need to find out if it used to be people.
Xander: [with mouth full] What? People?
Buffy: Xander! You ate the burger?
Xander: Well, first you say it's cat. Then you come in, hand me a burger, blah blah blah, five minutes later, "Oh, by the way, it happens to be hot, delicious human flesh"?
Buffy: I needed that burger to analyze it. Now I'm gonna have to get another one.
Xander: That's your problem with this scenario? You getting seconds?
Xander: [with mouth full] What? People?
Buffy: Xander! You ate the burger?
Xander: Well, first you say it's cat. Then you come in, hand me a burger, blah blah blah, five minutes later, "Oh, by the way, it happens to be hot, delicious human flesh"?
Buffy: I needed that burger to analyze it. Now I'm gonna have to get another one.
Xander: That's your problem with this scenario? You getting seconds?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Recovering magic addict Willow is testing the burger with multicolored liquids.]
Xander: Good job, Will! Those aren't, like, potions, are they?
Willow: No. No potions. It's not magic, it's... chemistry. You can tell by how damn slow it is.
Xander: Good job, Will! Those aren't, like, potions, are they?
Willow: No. No potions. It's not magic, it's... chemistry. You can tell by how damn slow it is.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: [sighs] Give a bloke a chance for his eyes to adjust. Damn fluorescent lights. Makes me look dead.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground. You fixed it up.
Spike: Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck.
Buffy: I've been thinking about doing something in my room. I think the New Kids on the Block posters are starting to date me.
Spike: Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck.
Buffy: I've been thinking about doing something in my room. I think the New Kids on the Block posters are starting to date me.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: Do you even like me?
Buffy: [softly] Sometimes.
Spike: But you like what I do to you.
[Spike holds up a pair of handcuffs.]
Spike: Do you trust me?
Buffy: Never.
Buffy: [softly] Sometimes.
Spike: But you like what I do to you.
[Spike holds up a pair of handcuffs.]
Spike: Do you trust me?
Buffy: Never.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Warren: So how did you get so beautiful?
Katrina: Okay, does that line usually work?
[Katrina realizes it is her ex-boyfriend Warren]
Katrina: What the hell are you doing here?
Warren: It's nice seeing you again too, Katrina.
Katrina: Yeah, it's the "seeing you" part that's throwing me here, Warren, because I thought I was pretty clear with the "never wanting that to happen again."
Warren: That was a long time, baby.
Katrina: Apparently not long enough.
Warren: Oh, you're not still sore about that thing, are you?
Katrina: What thing would that be, exactly? The "wind-up-slut" you tinkered together? Or when Miss "Nuts-'n-Bolts" tried to choke me to death?
Warren: Okay, so, I've made a few mistakes...
Katrina: No, no, I did - for ever lowering myself to be with a jerk like you.
[Katrina gets up but Warren grabs her]
Warren: No, don't say that.
Katrina: Well, what did you expect? Just... waltz there and sweep me off my feet with your cheesy lines and fancy suit?
Warren: No! I-I just... thought we could talk... maybe work things out.
Katrina: There is nothing to work out. What you did was sick, and just looking at you makes me want to vomit!
Warren: Are you sure about that?
[Warren puts his red sunglasses on, and goes for his pocket]
Katrina: Yes, God yes I'm sure...!
[Warren flashes the mind-controlling device in front of her; Katrina stares at it, and then at Warren, blankly]
Katrina: I love you, Master.
Katrina: Okay, does that line usually work?
[Katrina realizes it is her ex-boyfriend Warren]
Katrina: What the hell are you doing here?
Warren: It's nice seeing you again too, Katrina.
Katrina: Yeah, it's the "seeing you" part that's throwing me here, Warren, because I thought I was pretty clear with the "never wanting that to happen again."
Warren: That was a long time, baby.
Katrina: Apparently not long enough.
Warren: Oh, you're not still sore about that thing, are you?
Katrina: What thing would that be, exactly? The "wind-up-slut" you tinkered together? Or when Miss "Nuts-'n-Bolts" tried to choke me to death?
Warren: Okay, so, I've made a few mistakes...
Katrina: No, no, I did - for ever lowering myself to be with a jerk like you.
[Katrina gets up but Warren grabs her]
Warren: No, don't say that.
Katrina: Well, what did you expect? Just... waltz there and sweep me off my feet with your cheesy lines and fancy suit?
Warren: No! I-I just... thought we could talk... maybe work things out.
Katrina: There is nothing to work out. What you did was sick, and just looking at you makes me want to vomit!
Warren: Are you sure about that?
[Warren puts his red sunglasses on, and goes for his pocket]
Katrina: Yes, God yes I'm sure...!
[Warren flashes the mind-controlling device in front of her; Katrina stares at it, and then at Warren, blankly]
Katrina: I love you, Master.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer