Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Giles: [about Owen's book selection] Oh, Emily Dickinson.
Buffy: We're both fans.
Giles: Yes, she's quite a good poet. I mean for a...
Buffy: [defensively] A girl?
Giles: For an American.
Buffy: We're both fans.
Giles: Yes, she's quite a good poet. I mean for a...
Buffy: [defensively] A girl?
Giles: For an American.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: Buffy has a really important date.
Buffy: Owen!
Giles: All right, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
Buffy: Owen!
Giles: All right, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: Well, you know what they say; ninety percent of the vampire slaying game is, is waiting.
Buffy: You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago?
Buffy: You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting!
Willow: It was like the Heimlich... with stripes!
Willow: It was like the Heimlich... with stripes!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: What is it with those guys?
Willow: They're obnoxious. Professionally.
Xander: Well, every school has 'em. See, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.
Willow: They're obnoxious. Professionally.
Xander: Well, every school has 'em. See, you start a new school, you get your desks, some blackboards and some mean kids.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, "Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?" We've been through this.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Giles: And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
Buffy: Yes.
Giles: And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles.
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it?
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course you'll have to kill him.
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Giles: And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
Buffy: Yes.
Giles: And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles.
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it?
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course you'll have to kill him.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: Testosterone is a great equalizer - it turns all men into morons.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: [about Angel] So he is a good vampire? I mean on a scale of one to ten. Ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night, one being someone who's... not.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: I-I-I really don't know how to advise you. Things involved with a computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such I'd be more in my element.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: I know you have feelings for this guy, but it's not like you're in love with him, right? [Buffy looks away] You’re in love with a vampire?! What are you, outta your mind?
Cordelia: What?!?
Xander: [to Cordelia] Not 'vampire' ... [to Buffy] How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates 'em!
Cordelia: What?!?
Xander: [to Cordelia] Not 'vampire' ... [to Buffy] How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates 'em!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Angel: The elders conjured the most perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul.
Buffy: What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?
Angel: When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul; that's gone. No conscience, no remorse, it's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done...and care. I haven't fed on a human being since that day.
Buffy: What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?
Angel: When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul; that's gone. No conscience, no remorse, it's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done...and care. I haven't fed on a human being since that day.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: I invited you into my home and then you attacked my family.
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friends' children... For hundreds of years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friends' children... For hundreds of years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Darla: [about Angel] I made him. There was a time when we shared everything, wasn't there Angelus? You had a chance to come home, to rule with me in the Master's court for a thousand years, but you threw that away because of her. You love someone who hates us. You're sick. And you'll always be sick. And you'll always remember what it was like to watch her die.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Jenny: More digitized information went across phone lines than conversation.
Giles: That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.
Giles: That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: I'm just going to stay and clean up a little. I'll be back in the Middle Ages.
Jenny: Did you ever leave?
Jenny: Did you ever leave?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Jenny: You kids really dig the library, don't you?
Buffy: We're literary.
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.
Buffy: We're literary.
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Are we over-reacting? He's in a computer, what can he do?
Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Giles: Randomize traffic signals.
Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Giles: Destroy the world's economy.
Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Giles: Right, yours was best.
Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Giles: Randomize traffic signals.
Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Giles: Destroy the world's economy.
Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Giles: Right, yours was best.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimize said contact, but he would have none of it.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Principal Snyder: My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Sid (the dummy): (in short, about his present condition) Lets just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know, I'm not me any more. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Master: [to Buffy] What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Marc has tricked Giles into getting into a craftily disguised guillotine.]
Giles: Shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?
Marc: No, no this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just come pouring out.
Giles: What exactly is the trick?
Marc: Trick?
Giles: Shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?
Marc: No, no this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just come pouring out.
Giles: What exactly is the trick?
Marc: Trick?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: What about the whole "it's a demon" theory?
Giles: I'm looking into that, but my investigation is somewhat... hampered by our life in the theater.
Buffy: Uh, priority check, Giles? (holding up her hands) Talent show, murder.
Xander: Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it!
Giles: Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime... the show must go on.
Buffy: This is so unfair.
Giles: I'm looking into that, but my investigation is somewhat... hampered by our life in the theater.
Buffy: Uh, priority check, Giles? (holding up her hands) Talent show, murder.
Xander: Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it!
Giles: Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime... the show must go on.
Buffy: This is so unfair.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Joyce: You want to go to school?
Buffy: Sure! Why not?
Joyce: Okay. Good day to buy that lottery ticket.
Buffy: Sure! Why not?
Joyce: Okay. Good day to buy that lottery ticket.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Well, the Hellmouth, the center of mystical convergence, supernatural monsters: been there.
Buffy: Little blasé there, aren't you?
Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!
Buffy: Thanks for having confidence in me.
Xander: You da man, Buff!
Buffy: Little blasé there, aren't you?
Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!
Buffy: Thanks for having confidence in me.
Xander: You da man, Buff!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Xander knocks The Clown unconcious]
Xander: You were a lousy clown! Your balloon animals were pathetic! Everyone can make a giraffe!
Xander: You were a lousy clown! Your balloon animals were pathetic! Everyone can make a giraffe!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Our dreams are coming true?
Giles: Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares, our--our nightmares are coming true.
Giles: Dreams? That would be a musical comedy version of this. Nightmares, our--our nightmares are coming true.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[The class is discussing 'The Merchant of Venice'.]
Ms. Miller: But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society?
Willow: Well, everyone looked down on him.
Cordelia: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.
Ms. Miller: But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society?
Willow: Well, everyone looked down on him.
Cordelia: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer